And so it came to pass that Cooper ‘fessed up yesterday, although, in the style of a bad Western, his Twitter farewell took a while to get to the point where he finally falls. “It’s been an honour to lead CF for the last year. We’re now represented on 75% more campuses and 40% more constituencies than last year” he began, citing numbers meaningless without absolute values for comparison.
Yes? Yes yes? Yes yes yes?
Then on he rambled: “CF now has more branches and more members than ever before. Our role for the next year is to mobilise them to win a majority in 2015 ... I am proud of CF’s achievements, thankful to CF’s supporters, and confident in CF’s ability to deliver Britain a more Conservative future ... We need a new, united CF team to focus relentlessly on winning a majority in 2015 – a mammoth task we haven’t achieved since CF was founded”. He does go on, doesn’t he?
Get on with it, Tedious Maximus
And the inference that the outgoing CF team might not have been totally united is an interesting snippet. But then he admits “they got me” as he theatrically tells “I will not be seeking re-election in the CF elections. But I will always offer my help to make our great organisation even greater still”. Hardly LBJ 1968, is it?
Alas I die
So who might be lined up to succeed Cooper? Barely eight minutes later came the answer, as Alexandra Paterson told “Thank you very much to [Oliver Cooper] for all his hard-work [?] as CF national chairman. Best of luck for the future Oli!” At least she didn’t tell him not to let the door hit him on the way out.
Ms Paterson had taken her Twitter feed private last week: anyone might have thought that she was keeping her head down while Cooper was given the hard word and bundled off. And one right-leaning Zelo Street favourite was unimpressed with this charade: the odious flannelled fool Henry Cole observed “This girl takes over. A prearranged stitch up”. Terrible, a mere girlie, eh?
Behold a moment of candour
But then, Master Cole would know all about that, as can be seen from this post-cricket match gathering seen last week at Didcot Parkway station. Cole is at front middle, Mark Clarke (who infamously celebrated the disgraceful ousting of CF Deputy Chairman Sarah-Jane Sewell last week) is at top right, and two from top left, with Mark Clarke’s right hand on his shoulder, is Paul Abbott.
Smile, Tory Party chairman's chief of staff!
Abbott is chief of staff to Grant “Spiv” Shapps. Of course, these chaps may not have mentioned CF at all that evening. And if you believe that, you’ll believe anything.