Banksy And Wiggy Ha Ha Ha

Reform UK’s self-appointed Oberscheissenführer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage has at least one principle which he maintains unwaveringly, and that is the concept of strong borders. No-one should complain at nation states deciding for themselves who is let in, and who is not. But now a problem has entered, and it concerns one of his Bestest Pals from the recent past.

During the campaign leading up to the 2016 EU referendum, Nige was backed to the hilt by the self-styled “Bad Boys of Brexit”, those being businessman Arron Banks, and his slippery sidekick Andy Wigmore, the pair giving the appearance of being the very personification of J J Hunsecker and Sidney Falco. Banksy and Wiggy were, also, big Trump backers.

So it was no surprise to see Banksy wanting to celebrate the return of The Donald to the Presidency, at a rooftop venue in Washington, DC. But here, as Caroline Wheeler of the Murdoch Sunday Times has told, a problem entered, as in, Banksy didn’t. Here’s what she had to say about it.

“Arron Banks, the multimillionaire businessman who helped fund the Brexit campaign, is unable to attend his own £150,000 party celebrating Donald Trump’s return to the White House after he was denied entry to the United States … [he] was due to host 300 guests at the lavish ‘Stars and Stripes and Union Jack Party’ on the ­rooftop of the historic Hay-Adams Hotel in Washington this Friday night”. Except, now, he wasn’t. Do go on.

“Invitees include the president-elect and members of his family, Elon Musk, the US senators Rick Scott and Pete Ricketts, and the former Trump adviser Steve Bannon. The guest of honour is Farage … But Banks set to miss the occasion after his electronic entry permit to the US … was blocked. His business partner, Andy Wigmore has also had his entry to the US denied. The pair claim it is a ‘political decision’ and criticised the Biden administration”.

What was that about sovereign nations controlling their borders? How did Nige and his pals put it … “taking back control”? How will Isabel Oakeshott spin that one? And when will the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines and his rabble at the Guido Fawkes blog mention it (no word as yet)?

But all is not lost for Banksy. According to the Mirror, “A furious Mr Banks appeared to mockingly declare that he would instead cross the border from Mexico ‘along with the hundreds of thousands of gang members’ to join the party”. Of course he would. I mean, that “Open Tex-Mex border” claim must be true, mustn’t it? Wouldn’t be just a right wing pack of lies, would it?

The Mirror also had more on Banksy’s response. “Mr Banks blasted the decision to deny him US entry, branding it ‘a political decision and revenge for the failed Russia Hoax’. In a long statement, he ranted about President Joe Biden being to blame and hit out at the ‘dying fake media’”. Rather than the more prosaic explanation, which is that he was just refused entry to the USA.

Nige was, of course, all sympathy. “He was also backed by Reform UK leader Mr Farage, who posted online: ‘Arron Banks is a good man and a friend of America. It is astonishing that US Citizenship and Immigration Services have denied him entry for the inauguration.’” And Banksy wasn’t finished.

“I was accused of Russian collusion in the Brexit campaign, investigated and cleared by the National Crime Agency … I would estimate it cost me over £100million in lost business and legal fees. My businesses were de-banked and attacked by vicious opponents during this period. All for supporting Brexit and President Trump”. All of which has stuff all to do with his entry denial.

As a spokesman for the US embassy in the UK put it, “Visa records are confidential under US law, therefore we cannot discuss the details of specific visa cases”. Of course not: they can leave the discussion aspect to Banksy, Wiggy, and Mr Thirsty to pontificate that it’s all so terribly unfair.

While many others look on, try unsuccessfully to suppress the urge to laugh out loud, and conclude “Oh dear, how sad, never mind”.

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Oh Tommy Tommy - You’re An Illegal

One thing Stephen Yaxley Lennon, who styles himself Tommy Robinson, dislikes is when he believes people are not being totally honest. “You’ve been telling lies about me” was his opening gambit when he rocked up on my doorstep in the dead of night. It is so very different when the boot is firmly on the other foot, as it was yesterday evening in Canada.

The Mail, friend of right but not far right, told that “Robinson, real name Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, appears to have been detained by officers outside the Carriage House Hotel and Conference Centre in Calgary. Video footage showed the far-Right activist being taken away in handcuffs by a team of police as he laughed and protested that the arrest was 'absolutely insane’”.

Do go on. “He could be heard asking an officer: 'What have I got a warrant out for?' They replied: 'You've got an outstanding immigration warrant, we'll talk about it in the vehicle.' Robinson was then put in a car and driven away. It appears the 41-year-old was later released, but he claims to have now been prevented from leaving Calgary”. Are they keeping the SOB? Good!

There was more. “The English Defence League founder later tweeted: 'OK I'm free, well sort of. None of this makes sense, I'm now detained in Calgary, prevented from leaving the city … These conditions stop me from continuing my tour of Canada and meeting with guests for podcasts. I'm not even allowed to leave to travel home’”. Cos they took his passport. Carry on.

“Robinson had been speaking at an event called 'An Evening with Tommy Robinson', organised by far-Right media website Rebel News and its founder Ezra Levant … He also had a speaking event booked in Edmonton tonight, with the exact location not revealed to ticket holders until this morning - but this is now in doubt. Then this Sunday, Robinson also had a similar engagement in Toronto”. A bad case of Griftus Interruptus, it seems.

Levant could be seen in the video of Lennon’s arrest pleading with Police officers to let him know where his pal was being taken, so bail could perhaps be arranged. The Great Man confirmed later to Levant that his passport had been taken and he could therefore not leave the country.

Why he got nicked was spelled out by Nick Lowles of Hope Not Hate. “Stephen Lennon (AKA Tommy Robinson) has been arrested in Canada on immigration violations. It appears that he entered the country claiming he had no convictions .....whereas of course he has loads. He will claim to be the victim, but the truth is he lied. Simple as that”. Telling lies, is he?

He won’t like that a bit. He might even have to drive 150 miles or so and doorstep himself loudly in the dead of night, doxxing the address as he goes. Then he can loudly blame someone else and doorstep them loudly in the dead of night, doxxing their address too. Then he can loudly start another grift from his adoring fans. By that time he will of course be telling THE TROOF.

After being released by Calgary’s finest later last night, Lennon took on an air of mild panic as he realised that being told that when he goes home is not down to him might mean he gets held in Canada for long enough to stop him attending his own celebratory event in late July. This, too, will be someone else’s fault, rather than his own doing for lying to get into Canada.

Which means that, yes, he is now an illegal immigrant. One observer of this situation mused “Tommy Robinson must be delighted to see how effectively Canadians deal with illegal immigrants”, and Louise Raw, who you can tell as she’s a doctor, reminded us that Lennon “has previously been caught travelling under TWO DIFFERENT FALSE PASSPORTS”. So he has.

So Lennon might miss his July event? Tough. He should have thought about that before lying to the Canadian authorities. If he doesn’t appear before the courts on the 29th, he’ll be in even deeper shit. And that appearance - linked to his facing a contempt of court charge and yet another stretch - really would put the lid on his freedom. Which would, once again, be all his own fault.

Stephen Lennon’s comeback tour got cancelled. Just rejoice at that news.

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Trump - Why He’s Toast

There may or may not be a General Election in the UK this year. But there is no such uncertainty in the USA: the Presidency, all of the House of Representatives, and a third of the Senate are up for grabs come November. For the increasingly wacko Republican Party, that means getting behind combover crybaby Donald Trump. But here a problem enters.

Donald, where's yer hairspray?

The Donald is mired in a series of court cases. Including the just-delivered judgment of Judge Arthur Engoron in a civil fraud case in New York. As the BBC correctly reports, “Donald Trump's latest legal loss hits him where it hurts most because it takes aim at his very identity. For decades, he has marketed himself as a genius business mogul who made it big in one of the world's most cut-throat cities”. Not any more. And why should that be?

“Judge Arthur Engoron's ruling in a civil fraud case - related to the inflation of property values and lying on financial statements to obtain better loan terms - undermines Mr Trump's entire narrative. It instead paints him as a fraud and inflicts a massive blow to his business empire and wealth”. A fraud.

Trump “has personally been banned from holding any directorships for three years and his company cannot secure loans with financial institutions registered with [New York] city during that time either … He has been hit with an enormous financial penalty of $355m (£282m; €329m) - which jumps to more than $450m once interest is included - that far exceeds how much cash he has to hand”. He will appeal. But that will only make matters worse.

The reality is that Trump is not the multi-billionaire he would like the world to believe. Paying that penalty will mean getting a loan, which will be difficult because financial institutions now know where he’s at, and will demand any property used to secure that loan be independently valued.

In other words, they won’t take his word for it. And if he chooses to sell some of that property empire in order to pay the fine, the world will see just how much it’s really worth. Lawyers will begin to ask for payment up front, because something else that is becoming better known is Trump’s habit of not paying his bills in full, or in some cases, not paying them at all.

NBC News noted that documents reviewed by USA Today included “More than 200 liens since the 1980s that were filed by contractors and workers who said they were stiffed … Records released by casino regulators in 1990 that show 253 subcontractors on a single project were not paid in full or on time”. As well as not paying workers minimum wage, or overtime.

Making money by stiffing suppliers, refusing payments for spurious reasons, and not even paying workers. As well as, it seems, fiddling property values and lying about it. But this is a tycoon who has his own Boeing 757, isn’t it? Well, maybe. But that aircraft is over 32 years old, it will cost him more and more to run, and you don’t skimp on maintenance on a 757.

Trump Force One, as it is known, has not, as far as is known, flown this year. It won’t be worth much now. So getting to all those other court cases won’t feature it. But the lies will continue, if not from Trump himself, then from members of his immediate family. After Judge Engoron handed down that penalty, it was son Eric who was first out of the dishonesty traps.

Eric claimed his father “built the skyline of New York City”, to which Rick Larios responded “Take random photos of NY's skyline...none will show Trump labeled buildings. If you were paying homage to NY's skyline, it would feature the Empire State Building, the Chrysler Building, the World Trade Center, the Woolworth Building, the UN, etc. But not Trump”.

And MSNBC host Lawrence O’Donnell had heard enough. “Think about the size of this Eric Trump lie. Not one building visible in the NYC skyline is a Trump building. Now imagine the media reaction to Hunter Biden telling a lie of this size tomorrow.” Maybe those media double standards will fade a little as those pushing them realise what a fraud Trump really is.

The people want to know if their President’s a crook. Well, he’s not the President, but he is a crook. Shame on those promoting him.

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King Has Cancer - Haz To Blame

On Monday last came the news which would keep our free and fearless press in front page headlines and why-oh-why punditry for days afterwards: the King had cancer. This had been discovered during his recent prostate surgery, though what part of the body was affected was not told. Charles is 75, and half the population will get some kind of cancer in their lifetime.

Sarah Vine - only hinting ...

So it should not have been such a shock. Nonetheless, every front page, including the FT, gave the Royal condition due prominence yesterday. What was also given front page billing was the Duke of Sussex hastening to be by his father’s side, though by today, the spite and bad faith merchants at titles like the Daily Mail were already using this to kick Haz.

Hence this morning’s headline “HARRY SPENDS JUST 45 MINUTES WITH CHARLES … and Duke and William have no plans to meet at all”. Yes, he got the first London flight out of Los Angles, endured an eleven hour journey, was then driven straight to Clarence House, and this was WRONG and BAD.

This spiteful and hate-generating drivel is reminiscent of Lyndon Johnson bemoaning the constant negative press coverage he received as the Vietnam war went from bad to worse for the USA, reportedly telling an aide “If I went down to the Potomac and walked across it, tomorrow’s headline in the [Washington] Post would be ‘President can’t swim’”.

But at least the Mail has not (yet) sunk to the level of blaming Charles’ condition on his youngest son. Or tried too hard to kick Megs while they’re at it. Sure, Sarah “Vain” Vine approached the bad taste line with her column today, but stopped short of saying that the Sussexes Done It. “Harry has - to put it mildly - been at war with his father for the past few years” she begins.

Do go on: “as well as having to cope with the death of his beloved Mama, the King has been left utterly heartbroken by his younger son’s attacks, both on him personally, on Queen Camilla and on other members of the family”. No citation. Try again: “it’s clear from the depth of Harry’s rage and resentment that he is a troubled soul … nothing pains a parent like seeing their children fighting”. Nearly saying it. But not saying it. Then she gets close.

... while Mike Parry actually goes there

“If I were Harry and I were being brutally honest with myself, I might feel a slight tinge of concern that the current family breakdown might not be the best medicine for his father’s ill-health”. Nudge nudge, wink wink, eh Squire? But over at Gammon Broadcasting™ News (“Bacon’s news channel”) there is no such reticence. This morning, fascist bigot Mike Parry has gone there.

Here’s his pitch. “Could the stress of having to sort out the Harry situation of the past two years have contributed to his illness? Because we know that stress does contribute to illness. Stress can give you heart attacks. Stress can give you nervous conditions, and I believe if you ask top doctors, they’ll say yes, it could be responsible for at least enhancing the King’s anxiety”.

Cue someone billed as a Top Doctor being summoned to back up this hokum later today. But there was more. “And that anxiety in itself might have worked its way physically into his body … I mean, the more you worry about things in life, you do inherit medical conditions, without a shadow of a doubt. Like for instance heart … who’s to say that can’t affect you in other areas of your body with other diseases?” Thus speaks an expert on, er, nothing at all.

Yes, who’s to say? But as the Tweeter known as GB News Spin Room reminded us, “Mike Parry claimed on GB News that the stress of dealing with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, was causation for The King’s cancer diagnosis. No point complaining though, Ofcom think this is totally fine”.

Plus GB News will probably throw him a few more biscuits for being the first one to say what more of their dubiously talented roster of gobshites will be saying very soon. I mean, it’s only FREEZE PEACH, innit? From there it’s not far to Haz and Megs having open season declared on them. Who was it that took out a lawsuit against the Mail’s publishers? What a coincidence.

GB News leapt from gutter to sewer long ago. So at least they’re consistent.

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Boeing In Max Trouble

After a grim initial entry into service, with two crashes, which between them involved more than three times the death toll of the de Havilland Comet 1, an aircraft which heralded the beginning of the jet age when rather a lot was still to be learned about metal fatigue and other side effects of the step change in speed, Boeing’s latest 737 variant was settling down to safe, routine service.

But not for the first time, this manufacturer has proved to be its own worst enemy, with another of those in-flight incidents which the airline industry, and especially consumer confidence, can do without. What happened can be put directly: a 737 Max 9 lost a fuselage panel at an altitude of 16,000 feet not long after departing Portland, OR, for Ontario, CA.

The panel is used instead of an exit door in some Max 9 configurations. As the BBC report explains, “The rear mid-cabin exit door is used in dense seating configurations on some Max 9 planes to meet evacuation requirements, but is ‘plugged’ on other planes, including the Alaska [Airlines] flight”. The carrier has taken 65 similar aircraft out of service.

Added to that number are the 79 Max 9s previously delivered to United Airlines. In total, 171 aircraft have been grounded following an FAA directive. The scale of disruption is hinted at by the Beeb also telling “Alaska said it cancelled 160 flights on Saturday, affecting about 23,000 passengers”. The “plugged” door area is held in place by four bolts. All must be inspected.

Fortunately, for those living on this side of the North Atlantic, “The European Union Aviation Safety Agency (EASA) is following the FAA approach, but flight disruptions on the continent are expected to be minimal. EASA said it believes no European airlines operate Max 9s with the configuration covered by the FAA order. One of the world's largest intercontinental airports, London Heathrow, said there was no impact on flights”. So how bad was the incident?

Potentially, very bad indeed: the panel blew out at just over 16,000 feet, with passengers still having their safety belts fastened. However, as the BBC report reminds us, “The cruising height of a 737 Max is around 38,000ft. At this level, the difference between the pressure inside the aircraft and the atmosphere outside is much greater. Had the door blown out here, the sudden rush of air would have been much more violent, and potentially lethal, especially if passengers were not wearing seatbelts”. And it gets worse still.

OH DEAR

A more recent Beeb report now tells “Alaska Airlines placed restrictions on the Boeing plane involved in a dramatic mid-air blowout after pressurisation warnings in the days before Friday's incident, investigators say”. Do go on.

“The jet had been prevented from making long-haul flights over water, said Jennifer Homendy of the US National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) … Speaking at a news conference, Ms Homendy said pilots reported pressurisation warning lights on three previous flights made by the specific Alaska Airlines Max 9 involved in the incident”. There was more.

“The decision to restrict lengthy flights over water was so that the plane ‘could return very quickly to an airport’ in the event the warnings happened again, the NTSB chief added … ‘An additional maintenance look’ was requested but ‘not completed’ before the incident, Ms Homendy said”. Well, well.

Meanwhile, airlines that have committed to the 737 must be wondering what is going to happen next. A repeat of the Portland incident should be impossible for carriers like Ryanair, who thus far have restricted their new aircraft to the Max 8. But Michael O’Leary and his merry men have an order in for up to 150 Max 10s. Meanwhile, Airbus devotees are sitting pretty.

The problem for the Boeing 737 stems from the original design being rather too close to the ground for newer fan engines. Airbus could take a clean design brief with their A320 family. So the 737 had to have its engine intakes redesigned for the 300 to 800 series, with the infamous MCAS system for the Max. The company now needs to ensure it retains punters’ confidence after the Portland incident. Otherwise it could be in serious trouble.

Also, peak flying could be closer than the industry is prepared to admit.

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Mark François Is An Idiot

The BBC had bad economic news: “The UK economy shrank by more than expected in October, as higher interest rates squeezed consumers and bad weather swept the country … The economy fell 0.3% during the month … Most economists had predicted that the economy would shrink by just 0.1%, but the services, manufacturing and construction sectors all contracted”.

And, as Zelo Street pointed out recently, the economy would have done even less well without recent significant net inward migration. That thought was not allowed to enter the cranium of the most delusional Tory right-wingers, though, for whom FORRINS coming here and taking the jobs Hard Working Brits don’t want to do, then paying taxes and spending, is Streng Verboten.

All of which brings us to the Colonel Blimp de nos jours, Mark Gino François (note cedilla under the c), who has decided that, far from being an insignificant back bencher, he is A Very Important Voice Indeed. Moreover, he is the current chairman of the European Research Group, which does no discernible research, but is merely a convocation of Europhobic wackos.

François (note cedilla under the c) declared to the assembled media that the so-called Rwanda Law has incurred the displeasure of Himself and his group: “Our objection was that we don't believe, as it's currently drafted, the bill is firm enough to ensure that flights will take off to Rwanda … The prime minister had said that he would entertain tightening up the bill”. Do go on.

“We're taking him at his word [Rishi Sunak is no more trustworthy than disgraced former alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, which makes François a prime mug] … A number of MPs voted with the government... because they were told in private that there would be amendments later on”. Some of his fellow Tories were conned rotten.

When it came to the vote, the ERG, or at least some of them, courageously abstained, but no Tories voted against. So Sunak still managed to muster a majority of 44. The idea that, as the Mail claimed yesterday, the vote would go “down to the wire” was crap (the right-leaning part of our free and fearless press is now claiming the PM won “for now”). François was bust.

Meanwhile, one of those seeking asylum in the UK who had been incarcerated on the Bibby Stockholm barge took his own life, causing discomfort to the Tory right who only reluctantly consider such people to be human. Mickael Essouma was, as Jacqui Mckenzie pointed out, “A doctor from the Cameroon with over 32 peer reviewed clinical research articles”.

Tory policy towards refugees will, with the certainty of night following day, become even less popular, the racist brains trust out there on the right being insufficient to keep the party in power come the next election. Essouma was not “here to get benefits”. He wasn’t “invading” the country. He wasn’t “low-skilled migration”. This was most inconvenient to François.

[Subsequent news is that Mickael Essouma was not the man who took his own life]

Because what he so desperately wants is to make sure that flights to Rwanda actually happen. And that they be filled with all those FORRINS. This, he apparently believes, is what The People want. Breaking international law. Making the UK even less trustworthy. Making the prospects of trade deals and access to markets (like the European Single Market) less likely.

His delusion was summed up by Jo O’Neill: “Apparently deporting a couple of hundred people to Rwanda will boost the stagnant economy, end poverty, end industrial unrest, resolve the Irish border problem, fix the NHS, ensure our schools are properly run, level up, make mortgages affordable and provide affordable housing”. The public, whisper it quietly, have other priorities.

And, as SDLP MP Claire Hanna put it in the Commons yesterday, “This is just red meat for a common sense group with no common sense, a research group that does no research & [a] star chamber that has no stars”. One Tweeter mused “Mark Francois looks like he should be driving a coachload of pensioners to Marbella”. That’s how important and relevant he is.

But he is damaging the credibility - of his own party. What a complete loser.

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So Farewell Then Rwanda Plan

This week is shaping up to be a very bad week for the Tories and their hangers-on in our free and fearless press, but a very good one for those who would rather Rishi Sunak and the rest of his less than talented cabal either shape up and stop fighting pointless culture wars, or ship out.

What is not being admitted by The Blue Team and its coterie of client journalists is that the current swathe of what Supermac called “events, dear boy, events” is opening up cracks in the Tory edifice which are slowly but inexorably breaking the party apart. Today’s addition to those “events” is, like Monday’s sacking of a Home Secretary, down to the cult of SUELLA and the inevitably messy end of the terminally inept Braverman reign.

And one part of that reign was the supremely cruel plan to deport asylum seekers to Rwanda, where they would be “processed”, then not allowed to return to the UK. The one and only flight carrying those effectively deported eventually left with none of them on board. The Gammonati, their dog-whistlers in the press, and Ms Braverman, were incandescent with rage.

The Appeal Court then found against the Rwanda Plan. And so it came to pass that it arrived at the Supreme Court. As the BBC explained, “The legal case against the policy hinges on the principle of ‘non-refoulement’ - that a person seeking asylum should not be returned to their country of origin if doing so would put them at risk of harm - which is established under both UK and international human rights law”. And the verdict handed down today?

“The government had said its plan to deport asylum seekers to east Africa and ban them from returning was needed to deter illegal small boat crossings. But the Supreme Court ruled it is possible the Rwandan government would send refugees back to the country they had fled in the first place”. Do go on.

“It said the policy breaches human rights laws by potentially leaving the people sent there open to that risk … The Supreme Court agreed with the Court of Appeal decision, and said there are ‘substantial grounds’ to believe people deported to Rwanda could then be sent to places they would be unsafe by the Rwandan government”. Yes, it’s Human Rights again.

So what does the press-generated personality cult of RISHI make of the failed idea from the press-generated personality cult of SUELLA? “This was not the outcome we wanted, but we have spent the last few months planning for all eventualities and we remain completely committed to stopping the boats”. Sadly, SUELLA already let slip that there is no Plan B. But do go on.

“Illegal migration destroys lives and costs British taxpayers millions of pounds a year. We need to end it and we will do whatever it takes to do so. Because when people know that if they come here illegally, they won’t get to stay then they will stop coming altogether, and we will stop the boats”. Says Ron Hopeful, holed up in the Downing Street bunker.

Unfortunately, Sunak cannot stop the meltdown on the right of his party, typified by his deputy chairman. 30p Lee, as Aubrey Allegretti of the Times has noted, “says ministers should go ahead and ‘put planes in the air’ to Rwanda anyway. When I asked if he was suggesting ignoring the Supreme Court ruling, the Tory deputy chairman said govt should ‘ignore the laws and send them straight back’”. Them. People who are not white. Again.

Next stop demanding we leave the ECHR, is it? But, as Tom Larkin of Sky News has reported, the judgment contains this caution: “It is therefore not only the European Convention on Human Rights which is relevant to this was, as is sometimes thought”. Leaving the ECHR would be ineffective.

And there was more. “There are other international treaties which also prohibit the return of asylum seekers to their countries of origin without a proper examination of their claims”. Sunak should sack Anderson as he sacked Ms Braverman. The words of Margaret Thatcher explain why.

“The first duty of Government is to uphold the law. If it tries to bob and weave and duck around that duty when it’s inconvenient, if government does that, then so will the governed, and then nothing is safe - not home, not liberty, not life itself”. Today’s Tories are falling apart through their own idiocy. Sad, really.

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Tory Propaganda - Voters Not Listening

With two by-election results not being declared until after the papers had published their first editions, something else had to be splashed across those front pages. No matter for the inmates of the Northcliffe House bunker, or those at the increasingly desperate and downmarket Telegraph, there was always a little Government propaganda they could use instead.

Your seat's on the line too, matey

In the case of the Mail and Tel, though, it was Israeli Government propaganda that adorned their fist editions. And thereby hangs a tale: the editorial teams of both papers ought to know already that the last time they did that, their readers failed to heed the instructions handed down. And when the by-election results finally came, it was clear the voters weren’t listening, either.

Both in Tamworth, where the appropriately named Chris Pincher had left in disgrace, and Mid-Bedfordshire, where (yes, it’s her again) Nadine Dorries had finally resigned, to the relief of many in the constituency who wished it had happened earlier, the Tories failed to defend five-figure majorities (19,600 and 24,600 respectively) and lost both seats to Labour.

The Election Maps UK feed on Twitter, X, or whatever Muskrat is calling it this week, sounded a “Just For Fun” klaxon, telling “How GB would vote if the Mid Bedfordshire By-Election swing was repeated across the country”. The Lib Dems would become the opposition with over 100 seats, Labour would be out of sight on 484 seats, and the Tories would be reduced to a rump of 20 seats.

What went wrong for the Tories? Perhaps the shorter answer would result from asking what didn’t go wrong. The Tamworth by-election followed Pincher losing his appeal against a proposed suspension from the Commons after he drunkenly groped two men. As for Mid Beds, Ms Dorries had not spoken in the Commons for more than a year prior to her resigning.

Worse, the Tories are now led by a Prime Minister so totally out of touch with ordinary voters that he uses private jets, or helicopters, to get around the country. The voters have to use their cars, or take the train (Mid Beds has a vocal commuter contingent who are well versed on the less than perfect service they can expect from Flitwick and Harlington).

Worse still, as Adam Bienkov pointed out, the Tories have not endeared themselves to voters recently: “So to summarise, the big messages from Rishi Sunak's party going into these by-elections were that: - We're scrapping our biggest levelling up project - Criminals will be spared jail - We're taking away your cigarettes - Parents struggling to feed their kids can ‘f*** off’”.

And as if The Blue Team could not make things worse, they, er, made things worse by both their losing candidates leaving the count before the winning candidates had made their acceptance speeches. If either of the losers stands for the seat next time, their opponents will have the Sour Loser acts on a tape loop. So what kind of excuses are the Tories deploying today?

“Labour got fewer votes in Mid Beds than in 2019”. Except the Tories got more than 26,000 fewer. “By-elections don’t matter”. Except they mattered when holding Uxbridge and South Ruislip. And education secretary Gillian Keegan claiming the results “did not show a swing to Labour”. Some remedial maths lessons needed there. Maybe she was arguing in her spare time.

Two people who should be ‘fessing up and saying sorry, but will not be, are party chairman Greg Hands and his deputy Lee Anderson. Instead, Hands told Sky News “the conversations I had in Mid Bedfordshire and Tamworth [show that] people were happy with the job that Rishi Sunak is doing as prime minister”. So happy they appear poised to eject him from Downing Street.

That, along with the propensity to resort to personal abuse rather too readily, is a significant part of why the Tories keep on losing. Thuggish behaviour from the likes of 30p Lee is also counting against them. Labour hardly needs to lift a finger; the Tories are doing their hard work for them. Rishi Sunak being out of the country pretending to be important is just the icing on the cake.

The Blue Team may be facing wipeout. Just rejoice at that news.

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Israel, Gaza, And Security

Ever flown with El Al? That’s not a flippant or cynical question, but a deadly serious one. Israel’s flag carrier projects not merely the nation state, but also gives those travelling an insight into another projection: that of Israel’s security apparatus. You have to pass armed Police and two “face to face interviews” before being allowed to even check in. Because security.

After checking in, you go airside immediately and the departure gate area is partitioned off to all except those boarding the El Al flight. Who are kept under surveillance from more of those security operatives. Hand luggage is scanned again. Just to make sure. The incoming flight is escorted across the apron by a Police vehicle. Operatives patrol around the aircraft at ground level.

As for all those individuals and groups who the Israeli intelligence agencies suspect of ill intent towards the nation state, infiltration is the name of the game. Raids, attacks, acquisition of weaponry, illicit border crossings, in and adjacent to Israel and further abroad, are thus anticipated and action is taken to prevent them. No other nation state has the security apparatus of Israel.

That is why the first question was asked, especially given this morning’s crossing of the Gaza-Israel border by Palestinian forces, the apparent ease with which they made that crossing, and that the Israeli military and security forces were, apparently, caught unawares. The crossing was preceded by the firing of thousands of rockets. Given the lack of effectiveness of those devices previously, it should be blindingly obvious that this was primarily a distraction.

And it seems to have worked: those crossing from Gaza have incapacitated Israeli military hardware, have frightened the civilian population, many of whom are in hiding, and have taken hostage well north of 50 Israelis, some of whom are soldiers, but others, worryingly, are just ordinary citizens.

From our political leaders, there has been predictable hand-wringing, with assertions that Israel has a right to defend itself (as if some nation states do not have that right), and the Palestinian forces being told to desist, as if Israel does not possess the ability to engage militarily, or take other retaliatory action, which it most certainly does. But mainstream leaders miss the point.

As Rachel Shabi put it, “Anyone watching the region was desperately warning of war, braced for it, given the horrifying rise in violence against Palestinians in recent years met as usual with impunity from the west”, later adding “Israeli cabinet meeting at 1pm. With the especially extreme nature of the current Israeli government, filled with dread at what’s about to unfold”. POINT.

Which is one reason that Palestinian forces have taken so many hostages, to whom they are referring as “prisoners of war”. Well, if that is the case, the various Geneva Conventions apply: those in Gaza should not lose sight of the fact. As Kim Ghattas of The Atlantic has noted, “The only thing that could delay/reign in/complicate Israeli massive retaliation against Gaza is that these Israelis captives are held somewhere in Gaza”.

Why now? As a writer for The Nation pointed out, “What is happening in occupied Palestine is a response to weeks and months and years of daily Israeli military invasions into Palestinian towns, killings of Palestinians, and the very fact that millions of Palestinians in the Gaza Strip are besieged under Israeli blockade”. But we also have an un-square-able circle here.

Haggai Matar had bad news: “Israeli social media is now seeing calls for actual, literal genocide. Netanyahu has promised an attack on Gaza in a scale ‘our enemies have never seen before’. We should expect so much more bloodshed in the days and weeks to come”. Israel behaves badly towards Palestinians, while its population is taught to hate them.

If retaliatory action is seen to be disproportionate, that just runs the risk of States across the wider Middle East deciding to pile in against Israel. Some of whom have significant amounts of very modern and very deadly weaponry. Meanwhile, the usual suspects will attack anyone trying to consider the totality of the problem as “anti-Semites”. Get real. And quit smearing.

There may be a major war going on very soon. And it’s no good whining at the Palestinians. It still takes two to Tango. So much for that security.

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A Tale Of Two Prime Ministers

Once again, the Tories have been using their conference to confirm that they talk well, but lie badly. Lying about “15 minute neighbourhoods”, lying about a non-existent meat tax, lying about householders having to sort rubbish into seven bins, and a Prime Minister lying about not making a decision on the HS2 project, when he had already made that decision.

Rishi Sunak - just winging it

Lying about facts, claiming to be the party of facts, while inventing stories that are mainly, or wholly, untrue. The result should shame them, and they should be called out by every media outlet covering their activities, but when Suella Braverman, for some reason made Home Secretary, blusters “We cannot let British cities go the way of San Francisco or Seattle”, we get crickets.

Very few hacks make the connection made by Ian Fraser: “Suella Braverman slams San Francisco and Seattle. Is it because they respectively have GDP/capita of $290,000 and $119,000 while London’s is only $68,000?" Very few challenge the claim that binning another part of HS2 will free up lots of money for other projects, but Phase 2 (the part binned) will release little next year.

Rishi Sunak gives the appearance of echoing his predecessor but one, the now disgraced former alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, in lying to get through the day’s news cycle. One wonders how he would cope with almost two hours of questioning, first by two journalists, and then by a whole audience worth of the public. He wouldn’t.

But one European Prime Minister just did that last Monday. For one hour and 53 minutes, a duration I had to double check, so used was I to UK Prime Ministers struggling to manage a coherent ten or fifteen minutes with one interviewer. CNN Portugal did a “Town Hall” event (yes, USA-isms here too) with António Costa, who has been PM of the country since 2015.

So he has one advantage over Sunak, having occupied The Hot Seat since the election that former Brexit Party Oberscheissenführer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage lied about so shamelessly. But one difference Costa faces is that Portugal does not have the compliant right-wing press of the UK, no oligarch dominated media, no Murdoch, no Rothermere, no f-f-f-Dacre.

António Costa - less drama, more detail

Another advantage, though, is that Costa is across the detail. UK PMs were once thus: Mrs T was ferociously well-read and briefed. Tony Blair was good on detail; Gordon Brown was better. It’s only with the likes of Bozo that the country has had leaders just winging it, and lying to cover the cracks. So what kinds of subjects did the CNN interviewers and the audience cover?

Social Care, with an increase in the number of “social hospitalisations” (a well known problem in the UK for some time now) was acknowledged. There was to be a rise in the minimum wage. Housing shortages were an inevitable area for questioning: especially in Lisbon, high rents are forcing people out of the centre. One reason they’re building more on the South Side of the river.

And the new airport. Lisbon apparently has Europe’s busiest single runway airport. The issue has been on the boil for decades, but faded after the financial crisis and then the Covid-19 pandemic. Tourism, travel and climate change all have to be addressed, and balanced. Costa concluded that there was one inevitable fact about a new airport: there will never be consensus.

He did, though, decline to hint at where a new airport might be sited. He also declined to say what changes might be coming down the line on personal taxation. But every question was addressed, whoever pitched it. Sunak, meanwhile, invents a meaningless “the last 30 years” strawman, and his Home Secretary has a senior Tory expelled from conference for dissent.

The two PMs do have one thing in common: their Indian heritage. But one thing they do not is tenure: Costa has a majority in the Assembly, and barring any more upheavals like the TAP inquiry, there will not need to be another election until 2026. Sunak, barring a miracle, will be thrown out of office next year, along with his cabinet of grotesques, liars and freeloaders.

Thus the two Prime Ministers: one talking facts, the other just pretending.

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Putin - Worst Bond Villain Ever

There were so many executions of insufficiently loyal subordinates to choose from: Number 9 being fatally electrocuted and Count Lippe dispatched by a passing motorcyclist in Thunderball, all those executed by Mr Wint and Mr Kidd in Diamonds are Forever, and of course the scientists whose helicopter was blown out of the sky in The Spy Who Loved Me. Remember that one.

A plane crash ... most unfortunate

Yes, bad Bond villains and their gratuitous murder of anyone they decided may not be conducive to whatever evil project they had embarked on were a feature of the franchise. But they were not happening in the real world, you understand: it was mere exaggeration just to show the viewer how ruthless 007’s latest adversary was prepared to be. Until this week in Russia.

As the BBC has reported, “Russian mercenary leader Yevgeny Prigozhin was on the passenger list of a jet which crashed in Russia killing all 10 people on board, Russia's civil aviation authority says”. And what might have caused the aircraft to crash? “Social media linked to the Wagner mercenary group say his private plane was shot down by Russian air defences”.

We are also reminded that “Prigozhin led an aborted mutiny against Russia's armed forces in June”. So who was on board? “Prigozhin's aircraft - an Embraer-135 (EBM-135BJ) - was flying from Moscow to St Petersburg on Wednesday with seven passengers and three crew, Russia's Rosaviatsia aviation authority said … Senior Wagner commander Dmitry Utkin - who founded the group in 2014 - was also on the passenger list, it said”.

Shoot-down or something else? “Grey Zone said local residents had heard two bangs before the crash and had seen two vapour trails … The aircraft had been in the air for less than half-an-hour”. There is also video showing the aircraft on fire and out of control before it crashed.

The Beeb has also told us “several Russia watchers have described him as a ‘dead man walking’ since the mutiny … President Putin's initial reaction to his challenge to Russia's defence establishment was vitriolic, calling it a betrayal and a stab in the back in a video message on 24 June”. Vladimir Vladimirovich has previously said one thing he will not forgive is betrayal.

This organisation does not tolerate betrayal

So what did Vlad have to say about the hit, sorry, crash? “Regarding this plane crash … first and foremost, I would like to express my sincere condolences to the families of all those who died. These matters are always a tragedy. Indeed, if the initial data are correct, then those who were on board included employees of the Wagner Group”. Like he didn’t know beforehand.

Do go on. “I would like to emphasise that these are people who made a significant contribution to our common cause of fighting the neo-Nazi régime in Ukraine. We remember this, we know it, and we won’t forget it. Prigozhin I’ve known for a long time, since the early 1990s. He was a man of complicated fate, and he made serious mistakes in his life”.

Like being on board that aircraft when it just happened to fall out of the sky, on fire, and out of control. But don’t worry, “the head of the investigative committee reported on this to me this morning. They’ve already begun a preliminary investigation into this incident [incident, not accident]. It will be conducted in full and seen through to the end”. Yeah, right.

The US has already decided that the aircraft was brought down by what Chief Inspector Clouseau of the Sureté would have called A Beumb. More importantly, those in and around the Wagner Group have decided that It Was Vlad Who Ordered The Hit and have vowed revenge. Byline Times has more.

Their article on the crash and what comes next notes “Putin’s reign is characterised by the violent deaths of critics, dissidents, journalists, opposition leaders, rebellious oligarchs, and organised crime group members”, and adds that the hit may have been “timed to send a message to the Russian elite in anticipation of the forthcoming 2024 elections”.

May get nasty if he loses his grip, mind. Or suddenly becomes unwell.

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Visit Lisbon - But Maybe Not Next Week

While the UK’s press continues to sink deeper into its self-imposed trough of self-pity, serving up a diet of stale culture wars, hatred of those who have incurred its displeasure, and denial of reality, especially including climate change, the rest of Europe moves on. Which at this time of the year means getting in the visitors to spend money. Portugal is rather good at that.

So much so that one recent estimate showed that tourism will account for just over 21% of the country’s GDP this year, something which the country’s rail operators, and those in Spain, France and elsewhere, might usefully consider the next time they trot out the lame excuses for not offering any direct trains between Portugal and the rest of Europe (more or less, folks).

But, as the late Clive James might have said, I digress. You should still visit the country, and especially Lisbon, just not next week, because the visitor event to end all visitor events is upon us. Hotels, Air B+Bs, campsites, forget it. There will be Very Little Accommodation anywhere in the Greater Lisbon Metropolitan Area until after next weekend. Because of JMJ. Or WYD.

What that? Jornada Mundial da Juventude, or in English, World Youth Day, is a Catholic festival which will attract pilgrims in their hundreds of thousands. Estimates put the total attending the final event, hosted by Pope Francis, at as many as one million. Yes, as Chief Inspector Clouseau of the Sureté might have observed, even the Purp will be there. He flies in next Wednesday.

Some of the numbers are mind-boggling: events begin on August 1st and end on the 6th. On Thursday 2nd, “The afternoon will see the ‘major meeting’ - at 5.45pm in Parque Eduardo VII, baptised the Colina do Encontro (Hill of Encounter) for the event, to which at least 400,000 if not more pilgrims are expected”. Four hundred thousand. And the next day will bring more.

“750,000 pilgrims are expected to arrive, throughout the day, to Parque Eduardo VII for what is called the Via Sacra. This is a moment where pilgrims will be received by the Pope from 6pm … from the arrival of the Pope, this holy communion will begin, with processions arriving and many Catholics lining up for the reported million communion wafers made for the event”.

Small wonder that so many residents have decided to decamp to the Algarve, the Alentejo, the Silver Coast, the Douro Valley, anywhere that gets them away from what is going to be one heck of a crush in central Lisbon (the Parque Eduardo VII, named for the British Edward VII, overlooks the Avenida de Liberdade, and from there the old downtown).

So to the weekend. “Saturday is billed as being ‘the longest day, with most journeys for the Pope’ He is due to give two speeches, one in the morning in Fátima - to which he will travel in a military helicopter, and where he is due to pray with young people who are ill and some who are prisoners. It is here too that His Holiness is expected to say a prayer for peace in Ukraine”.

After that? “Then it will be back to Lisbon, first for a private meeting with members of the Companhia de Jesus, and finally to the Parque Tejo-Trancão - the slice of riverside shared by Lisbon and Loures municipalities where as many as one million pilgrims could be waiting for him”. Do go on.

“This is where the ‘inscribed pilgrims’ will benefit over those that simply decided to turn up without informing organisers: inscribed pilgrims will have a place in the park (dubbed Field of Grace, for World Youth Day) closer to the spectacular altar-stage than the non-inscribed. There will be gigantic screens erected over the 100 hectares, for everyone to at least get a view of what is happening, even if they are a long way away from where it is going on”.

Any more? Sure is. “Finally, on the Sunday (August 6), the Pope’s final public appearance will come at 4.30pm, after the official closure of World Youth Day, where he is expected to give a speech of thanks in Algés, Oeiras, to the 30,000 volunteers who contributed to the event (even paying for the privilege)”. The volunteers, in their yellow T-Shirts, have been a presence for some days now around the city. Now will come all those pilgrims.

For those saying “Yeah, but what about what went on in Portugal’s Catholic church for so many years?” there is this coda: “there will be a lot of ‘spare time’ in the pontiff’s schedule, but that it is almost certain that some of this will be spent in meetings with victims of sexual abuse within the Catholic Church”.

There is also this upmarket thought: “If all goes according to plan, this will be an exceptional PR event for Lisbon, which is already one of the most popular European destinations on many scores. Mayor Carlos Moedas has stressed the return for the capital in terms of revenue from visitors will be worth every cêntimo spent on the planning and infrastructures, most of which will remain in place for use by local people”. It’ll just be heaving busy, that’s all.

Visit Lisbon - but wait until after the big event has run its course.

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So Farewell Then Brexit Britain

Why had the blog posts dried up? What was occupying so much of my time that it had to take precedence over all else? What was so important that it involved travel, meetings, form filling, lawyers, notaries, estate agents, removal firms, energy suppliers and engineers, a lot of visits from online furniture and electrical goods outlets, and lots of hotel stays?

Pinhal Novo - the bandstand ...

Well, as you will see from my Twitter bio (X or no X, that is the question), the short answer is that I have left the UK, and almost certainly for good. A country that is slowly, but perhaps irretrievably, on its way down the pan and into international irrelevance, the result of bad faith actors who thought Brexit was just a jolly game. So last year I decided to go. To Portugal.

Along the way there have been meetings with the folks who progress residence permits, which took me to Edinburgh in February and then a follow-up interview in June at the Serviço de Estrangeiros e Fronteiras in the town of Viana do Castelo (the thought occurred that this was more an initiative test, as most Brits wouldn’t know where it was, or how to get there).

There was a lawyer providing a proxy so I could obtain a NIF (you can’t do much in Portugal without a NIF, folks), an estate agency person who accompanied me to the bank to get an account, a notary who oversaw the purchase of an apartment, an engineer who reconnected the gas supply (don’t ask), and a removal firm to take stuff from Crewe to Pinhal Novo.

Where that? Pinhal Novo, which literally translates as “New Pine Forest”, is on the south side of the Tejo. Like Crewe, you can get to lots of other places from there. Lisbon is half an hour to 40 minutes away by rail or express bus. It is a low rise town and growing at some rate (if you arrive by rail on the Fertagus service, the first signs of Pinhal Novo are the cranes).

... and nearby church

So will the blog continue? For now, yes, but not for ever. Will I be writing about the fun and games involved in moving from the UK to Portugal? A strong possibility. Will there be some stuff on the country’s politics? Could be, especially given the tendency of bad faith UK politicians, like former Brexit Party Oberscheissenführer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage, to lie about them.

Do they have inflation in Portugal? Yes, but it’s on its way down, with food inflation now below the all-important 10%? Do they have strikes? Ho yus. Do they have The Fash? Yes, a bad Trump tribute act headed by a gobshite called André Ventura. He’s got a twitchy right arm and an acute sense of victimhood. But they also have influence. Because they’re in the EU.

Why make the announcement now? Simples. Today I got my hands on a residence permit, from those nice people at the SEF in Viana do Castelo, an increasingly popular tourism destination which closes on Sundays (this is not so much of an exaggeration). That makes it official. So it’s hello to warmer and drier weather (no rain for a month and a half). And farewell to Crewe.

There may be visits to the UK. But it is no longer home. I’m aware that this can be a lose-lose in the eyes of paranoid Brexiteers: on the one hand, you are told “If you don’t like it, why don’t you go”, and when you take the advice and go, they bawl “TRAITAH” in your general direction. Well, up theirs.

So, finally, farewell, and thanks for all the fish. I may be celebrating later.

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Tommy Robinson’s Chicken Run

And so it came to pass that Stephen Yaxley Lennon, who styles himself Tommy Robinson, returned briefly to the spotlight from well-deserved obscurity as a result of another of his Not Very Whizzo schemes which may well prove to be a campaign that develops not necessarily to his advantage. The good news is that he’s left the country. The bad news, for him, is why.

Lennon’s useful idiot, amateur kidnapper Danny Tommo, brought the world the news that his pal had arrived in Cuba, an odd choice of destination for one who hates Commies. “[Tommy Robinson] lands in Cuba after leaving the UK due to threat of being arrested and jailed for 2 years [Elon Musk] this is what Independent journalist have to go through, yet you continued to deny him a voice on Twitter … Protecting truth tellers is very important”.

Truth teller my arse. I’ll go further: journalist my arse. And why is Lennon threatened with arrest and up to two years behind bars (not that I’m objecting to him being thrown in Chokey)? Ah well. Hope Not Hate are not always on Lennon’s case as some anti-fascists would like, but they are this time.

“Tommy Robinson (aka Stephen Yaxley-Lennon) has broken a court injunction this week and could now face two years in prison”. Ooh interesting. Do go on. “Back in 2021, Tommy lost a libel case against a young Syrian schoolboy named Jamal Hijazi. Jamal had been the victim of violent bullying at his school in Huddersfield, as captured on a video that went viral”.

There was more. “During the court case in 2021, the judge issued an injunction, forbidding Tommy from repeating the lies he told about Jamal … But Tommy is deliberately breaking the law, working with a US alt-right outfit to release a film that repeats the lies, and in doing so attempts to profit from Jamal’s pain again”. No link will be included. Cos I’m not into lawbreaking.

“The film has been released with Tommy’s full knowledge and collaboration … Tommy thinks this latest grift can make him big money through new supporters in the US and fundraising for legal fees from his UK base. But we are on the case and will be doing everything in our power to [Get Jamal Justice] - watch this space”. Lennon, as so often, can’t keep quiet about it.

So it was that The Great Man has sent a video from Cuba, where he tells the world that he’s just off a ten and a half hour flight, and that the food was terrible (cue nanoviolin). He can then be heard saying “next stop America”. And, as Jon Stewart might have said, two things here. One, you don’t just hop on the plane in Cuba and get off in the USA. Not with his criminal record.

Lennon has already tried to enter the USA illegally and failed. He rocks up there again, his stay will only last until he gets spotted by law enforcement, and given his inability to button his North And South, that won’t take long. And Two, the obvious question right now is, do the authorities in Havana know that someone with a significant criminal record just rocked up there?

If they don’t know, it has to be assumed Lennon most likely entered Cuba on a false passport. Maybe the régime there doesn’t mind the odd bit of passport fraud, but I doubt it. And if they lift him and dump him in the local prison, he’ll soon find that being gobby with the Law doesn’t work in a country that has a lamentable human rights record. Including the use of torture.

That’s one hell of a risk to take just so he can kick off another grift. A risk that could end up in either Cuba or the USA deporting the SOB back to the UK, and the UK as a consequence not only locking him up, but confiscating his passport on the grounds of his being a flight risk. Which would mean if he rocked up abroad in future, everyone would know he was breaking the law.

Which will, of course, be someone else’s fault. Maybe the Muslims Done It.

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Ryanair - Just Don’t Say MAX

One subject that has faded from view over time, and which has the potential to affect many Brits going off on their hols this Summer, is the saga of the Boeing 737 MAX, the aircraft type that was grounded worldwide after two of them performed what is euphemistically termed a controlled flight into terrain, though it was not those on the flight deck exercising the control.

Now redeeming itself with an airline near you

Now, 346 deaths, Boeing and the FAA having done the walk of shame for their failings, and a redesign so that the 737 MAX’s Manoeuvring Characteristics Augmentation System (or MCAS) can’t routinely stuff an aircraft into the ground later, the plane is in service worldwide - including with budget carrier Ryanair. So how are they selling the MAX to their punters?

That thought entered last Friday after passengers for the 1710 flight from Manchester to Lisbon had been allowed out of their Terminal 3 gate to line up by the aircraft. So there I was, standing by the port side engine, and thinking that the intake was not only larger than on an 800 series 737, but circular, unlike the flat-bottomed nacelle to give the CFM56 enough ground clearance.

It was mounted higher than on the 800 series, and cantilevered further forward too. Hmmm, I thought, this is a MAX, isn’t it? Then another difference, the usual 13 steps up from tarmac to cabin using the aircraft’s internal stairs was now 14 steps. Snazzy rotating overhead luggage bins too, a feature borrowed from the DreamLiner. Let’s look at the safety card.

With Ryanair, the flight safety card, rather like the carrier itself, is right in your face. And it has to tell you what type of aircraft it is. So how do they avoid the moment when one half of the passengers starts up with the bad taste air crash jokes, thus ensuring they spend the flight scaring the shit out of the other half of the passengers? Simples. They don’t mention the M-Word.

“Boeing 737-8200”, it says. And, technically, this is correct. Michael O’Leary and his pals get around introducing the 737 MAX to their route network by not saying the dreaded word. They have figured - correctly - that the vast majority of their punters won’t immediately Google “Boeing 737-8200” as soon as they see the safety card. They’re not interested. Out of sight, out of mind.

Only two previous crashes, don't worry about it

Most passengers might notice the new luggage bins, but not realise what that means. They won’t find the very different engine note during the take-off run - more of a whistle than a drone - to be anything exceptional. Which means that whoever at Ryanair decided not to use the M-Word made the correct call. The plane did the job, the flight was uneventful. Fair play to them.

After all, the 180 or so passengers had other priorities: whether the authorities in Lisbon would allow UK passport holders to use their E-Gates (they did), getting through Terminal 1 arrivals (lots of walking), figuring out the ticket machines at the Metro station, getting downtown, finding hotels and AirBnBs, and venturing out for late food and drinks across the great city.

Those with longer memories might recall that the Airbus A320 family - the 737’s greatest rival - began its service life with some unwelcome headline bad publicity after an Air France crew managed to drop one of the aircraft in a wooded area near Mulhouse-Habsheim airport during an air show. Why I won’t go near Air France, take 94. The planes have done better since then.

The point is straightforward: modern air travel is safe, as safe as decades of learning the lessons can make it. Cars, vans and lorries crash, the mess is swept up, the road is mended and hosed down, and all continues rather as before. A passenger aircraft crashes, the investigators arrive and carry on working until they figure out what happened. Then come the actions.

Perhaps whole fleets of planes are grounded. Corrective action is implemented. Procedures for maintenance, preparation, training and control are updated. Yes, with the 737 MAX, Boeing and the FAA loused up big time, but again, the lessons were ultimately learned - so much so that most of those on flight FR2252 last Friday wouldn’t have noticed much had changed.

Why trains and planes are safer than you think. Whoever the carrier.

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Media Fiddles While UK Collapses

Our media class, and its increasing detachment from the world which the vast majority of its viewers, listeners and readers inhabit, has passed before the inspection of Zelo Street on many previous occasions, but never has it shown itself so utterly unable to understand the mood of the people as with the current perfect storm of inflation, unrest, and overall mood of despair.

Strikes? We got them. Was the press interested? Not yesterday, it wasn’t: instead, readers were served up the latest broadside of faux outrage directed at the Sussexes for having the audacity to make a series for Netflix as part of their determination to finance their own lifestyle and not sponge off We The People like the working Royals. Self sufficiency? How very DARE they?

Such is the desperation around the Fourth Estate that Haz’n’Megs will not play the game the press wants them to play, that the Mail used the dubious talents of four obscenely overpaid alleged journalists to heap sneering abuse on their targets. While those concerned cravenly carried out their instructions, the looming spectacle of strike action grew ever larger.

The Daily Brexit, still called the Express, dispensed with alleged star columnists and merely shovelled on the Kensington Palace briefing, that whatever the Sussexes said was “Slurs”, and it was “So Hurtful”. As the paper has been run on a shoestring since the days of Richard Desmond, it’s still whining this morning, invoking the Queen’s memory. Strikes? What strikes?

More upmarket, but nowadays not by much, the increasingly desperate Telegraph also invoked the Queen’s memory, decreeing that the Sussexes had landed a “direct hit” on her legacy. By talking about their story, not hers. In inevitable attendance was the over-promoted Camilla Tominey to claim that the series was “An unashamedly one-sided story full of half-truths”.

That would be the same Camilla Tominey whose name appeared on the by-line of a Tel article linking Megs to ISIS, via her support of the Hubb Community Kitchen and their cook book. The Mail titles lifted the story, which then featured in court papers as part of Meg’s lawsuit against them.

Like “the connection made between the Hubb Community Kitchen (in which the [Duchess] worked with those affected by the Grenfell tragedy as part of a cookbook project that became a New York Times best-selling book) and the al-Manaar Muslim Cultural Heritage Centre (supposedly ‘linked to 19 Islamic extremists’) is at best a highly tenuous and deliberately inflammatory one”.

There was more. “The characterisation of these victims as being linked to terrorism in the same way as the [Duchess] is said to be supporting or endorsing jihadi terrorists through her participation in a cookbook for victims of Grenfell, is as false as it is offensive”. Ms Tominey was congratulated by the deeply unpleasant David Vance for her article.

And, worst of all, the piece appeared to be based on a single source - the Islamophobia peddling Henry Jackson Society. It was bad faith journalism at its worst. But it was unsurprising: since the right-leaning part of our free and fearless press took against the Sussexes, the barrage has been unrelenting, and has featured the same cast of sad, obsessive egos fighting for attention (Mic Wright has given them A Good Going Over right HERE).

But then, surprise, surprise, all changed this morning as the press realised - all too late for their own credibility - that those ordinary hardworking people it claims to champion aren’t interested in their righteous frothing about the Sussexes. Because the grim reality of a cold snap, combined with soaring energy prices, along with those strikes, has focused their minds elsewhere.

More rail strikes. More postal strikes. Ambulance drivers and nursing staff joining in. Border Force officers striking, meaning another hour or two getting through passport control for those willing to chance visiting sad, angry, increasingly poor and increasingly broken Brexit Britain.

A media audience slowly but surely realising that they’ve been had. Twelve years of Governments promoted assiduously by the right-wing press have enriched the rich while screwing over the rest of us. Added to that, Brexit was sold on a series of lies. Project Fear was in fact Project Reality.

On top of that, we are now learning how the Tories enabled their pals to fill their boots on the back of the Covid-19 pandemic. Who paid for those banking tens of millions from the VIP lane for PPE? We The People did. The Tories, egged on by their press cheerleaders, broke the UK. Worse, the current Labour opposition appears too frightened of its own shadow to back the strikers. That, too, is lauded by too many in and around the media.

Perhaps it is the cushion of financial security, that the cliff-edge of vanishing disposable income is for them never likely to come into view. Perhaps the falling circulation and diminishing viewing figures do not send a strong enough message. Perhaps they just don’t care. But soon they will.

This time, ordering those already impoverished by twelve years of Tory ineptitude back to work for the good of the rich will not wash. The economy is on its knees. Services are collapsing. Key workers have had enough. The press might be best advised telling the truth: the UK is a failing state.

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