Khan K Exposes Press Racism

Whenever there is an accusation of racism levelled at our free and fearless press, they close ranks, issue forthright denials, and of course restate the claim that they wouldn’t dream of such things, they have all cleaned up their acts since Leveson, and generally attempt to get everyone to Look Over There at whatever dead cat they can, in the meantime, dream up.

It was the same when the increasingly desperate and downmarket Telegraph was called out for anti-Semitism in the wake of its attack on George Soros. It was the same when the Mail, under the less than benevolent control of the legendarily foul mouthed Paul Dacre, launched a viciously anti-Semitic attack on the memory of the late Ralph Miliband. Now it has come round again.

And again, it is the Telegraph and Mail being exposed as racist newspapers, after both of them launched a spiteful and petty assault on London’s Mayor Sadiq Khan, who has been knighted in the New Year’s Honours. Khan has won three terms as elected Mayor. He has helped to reduce the capital’s chronic pollution. His free school meals initiative helps the least well off.

He has also tried his best to keep a lid on public transport costs. His prospectus has won through against a variety of Tory opponents, two of whom, Zac Goldsmith and Shaun Bailey, have since been ennobled. By complete coincidence, you understand, there was no press outcry about rewarding failure by sending Tories who failed to the Lords.

But enough of that: let’s see what the Mail and Tel have ponied up for the delectation of their unfortunate readers. The inmates of the Northcliffe House bunker have howled “PM’S ‘REWARD FOR FAILURE’ AS SADIQ KHAN IS KNIGHTED … London Mayor row risks overshadowing New Year Honours”. A row which the Mail and Telegraph have concocted. So it’s their fault.

Not that they will admit that. But do go on. “SADIQ Khan has been handed a knighthood in the New Year Honours - prompting furious claims of a ‘reward for failure’ [you said that already] … Leading Tories pointed to his ‘track record of failure’ in the capital, including over tackling knife crime and dramatic hikes in council tax, congestion charges and emissions levels”.

Emissions have not seen a dramatic hike, but hey ho. They probably mean the ULEZ, which failed to get Khan defeated last time round, much to the annoyance of the same right-wing papers that are now pouring out spite. The Telegraph offers “PM knights Khan in ‘reward for failure’ … Starmer accused of putting party before country as he hands honours to ‘cronies’”.

Those quote marks are doing seriously heavy lifting. So what else is testing the Tel? He allegedly “waged war on London’s drivers with the Ultra-Low Emission Zone and capitulated to unions over Tube strikes”. He did? “He … handed Tube drivers a 5 per cent pay increase”. And ended a disruptive series of strikes, which don’t affect the Tel’s rich bosses, so they don’t care.

There is more of this tedious drivel. But one person escapes any criticism, and to no surprise, that person is the disgraced former Prime Minister and occasional former Mayor of London Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, who bequeathed a mess to Sadiq Khan which he has had to sort out. And it was Bozo, let us not forget, who brought the ULEZ to London in the first place.

It was Bozo who foisted a thousand vanity buses onto TfL, for which a premium over conventional buses had to be paid. It was Bozo who shelled out tens of millions on the Garden Bridge fiasco. It was Bozo who spaffed millions up the wall (his own happy phrase) on the impractical Thames Estuary Airport study. It was Bozo who caved in to George Osborne and relinquished TfL’s subsidy from central Government. And so on.

But Bozo escapes the ritual and spiteful slagging off because he’s a Tory, he’s one of their own, and he’s white. Sadiq Khan, for all his efforts to make life better for all Londoners, will get no more than abuse, because he’s a Rotten Lefty™, he’s brown, and he’s a Muslim. The attacks are straight-up racism.

The racist and hopelessly out of touch right-wing press don’t care about ordinary Londoners. Sadiq Khan does. But you knew that already.

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Behold Lord Tobes Of Bellend

And so it came to pass that the time of year meant party leaders nominating a variety of the undeserving and otherwise underemployed as new members of the House of Lords, the Other Place that the current Government was so keen to abolish, but now, seemingly, isn’t. Labour has put forward thirty names, but most of them will escape scrutiny, thanks to Kemi Badenoch.

As ever, at times like this, the opposition rides to your rescue: Ms Badenoch, not content with making herself and her party look less credible with every week’s PMQs, has put forward one name guaranteed to put those of Charlotte Owen and Ross Kempsell, ennobled at the behest of disgraced former occasional PM Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, in the shade.

Because the latest name in the Tory prospective peerage frame is none other than the loathsome Toby Young, who has for many years been full value for his nickname of Captain Bellend. I first observed the deep and sincere affection his peers in the media held for Tobes some years ago.

At the launch event for the HuffPost UK, Zelo Street was there in the auditorium, sitting in the back row as the launch presentation and debate began. Some 20 minutes later, the entrance door to my left opened, someone walked through it, and a chorus of booing ensued. What, I asked the bloke to my left, was all that about? “It’s OK, it’s only Toby Young” came the reply.

It got worse: Tobes was apparently having difficulty finding a seat. The disruption was brought to a swift end when Arianna Huffington recognised The Great Man, and no doubt also knew about all the snarky abuse that he had dispensed in her general direction. “Would you like to join us?” she asked, at which point Tobes thought better of making an even bigger arsehole of himself, and found himself a seat with remarkable swiftness.

That is the memory coming to the fore every time our free and fearless press attempts to polish the turd that is Captain Bellend: the foot-soldiers of this industry have a rather lower opinion of his munificence than their bosses. So most of the crap being spoken about him in reaction to the peerage nomination can be taken with one gigantic piece of salt.

Pride of place in that department goes to the increasingly desperate and downmarket Telegraph proclaiming “Free speech champion Toby Young awarded peerage”. As Billy Connolly once said, there’s going to be some swearing … FUCK OFF. Anyone and everyone has the right of free speech. But all too many on the right don’t like actions having consequences.

It gets worse, as a perusal of Tobes’ Wikipedia entry demonstrates: “Young has admitted using cocaine at the Groucho Club in central London, and also supplying drugs to others. He was subsequently expelled from membership of the club in late 2001 for writing about the cocaine use of friends he had supplied with the drug during a 1997 photo shoot for Vanity Fair”.

Any more minus points? “Young has come under criticism for comments he made on Twitter … These included what an Evening Standard editorial called ‘an obsession with commenting on the anatomy of women in the public eye’”. And how’s this for vanity? “Young is reported to have edited his own Wikipedia page 282 times over the course of six years”. Modest with it, eh?

Maybe this comment from Dawn Foster sums up Tobes’ true place in the establishment pantheon: “Young seems to think he is held in high regard by free school advocates. When I mentioned his name in the course of interviewing a former Department for Education employee for the piece, my interviewee headbutted the restaurant table in exasperation. I have found the sentiment, if not the gesture, to be common among his ideological comrades”.

That is merely reinforced by the knowledge that he was taken on, and then sacked, by the Times, under the editorship of Charles Wilson. This part of his career trajectory he shares with Bozo The Clown, someone else who is full of crap and gobby with it. He’s called Captain Bellend. Because he’s a bellend.

Lord Tobes of Bellend, of the borough of Leering in the county of Misogyny. Because they couldn’t find a horse called Incitatus.

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So Farewell Then Paul Staines

Of all those asymmetric worlds out there, none compares with that inhabited by the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines and his rabble at the Guido Fawkes blog. The Great Guido has claimed in the past that he doesn’t resort to such things as legal threats, but here on Zelo Street we know that this is total crap (see HERE). Then comes Staines’ claim that suing him is a nightmare.

The Great Guido as thirsty as ever

Why so? Well, his defence is that the Fawkes blog is hosted somewhere offshore of the UK, that it’s registered likewise, and that he lives in Ireland. But the inevitable question then enters: as the blog’s contents are directed almost exclusively at a UK audience, and the Fawkes “newsroom”, such as it be, is believed to be in London, why shouldn’t he be sued here?

At which point Dale Vince, founder of Ecotricity, enters the scene. What he said in a radio interview on the subject of Gaza, Israel and Hamas has been repeated, and indeed creatively reinterpreted, by a number of media outlets, not least the Daily Mail. Vince, one of those people with the means to go to law, has already secured an apology and damages from the Mail.

Now he has the Fawkes massive, as well as former London Mayoral candidate Shaun Bailey, and Reform UK deputy leader Richard Tice (he’s not very nice) in his sights. And his action against The Great Guido has proceeded to a meanings hearing, which happened earlier this week. Staines claims he decided to stand and fight, as if he had any choice in the matter.

Given that even the Mail, not usually given to being an easy pushover in legal matters, has decided to settle and say sorry, one has to ask if Staines’ decision to resist such a way out is wise. Nonetheless, he’s launched a fundraiser, claiming “We’re going to make a stand and defend free speech and the reporting of the actual words he said”. FREEZE PEACH!

No-one, of course, is trying to restrict Staines’ freedom of speech. But that freedom can have consequences, and those have, on this occasion, led to where he is now. So far, so predictable, but now into the mix has come the announcement - via Press Gazette, and not thus far reported on the Fawkes blog - that Staines is stepping down from his position as Fawkes editor.

Ross Kempsell, sorry, "Lord" Ross Kempsell

Here’s what PG has to say: “Guido Fawkes owner Paul Staines is stepping down as editor this week after 20 years leading the political blog. Staines is passing the reins over to Lord Ross Kempsell, Guido contributing editor and former chief reporter. Kempsell has been appointed to the role of publisher”. Note Staines is described as Fawkes “owner”, which will not change.

There was more. “Staines will become founding editor, no longer involved in the day-to-day running of the site. The news was announced ahead of Guido’s 20th anniversary dinner being held this week”. Another reminder that the Fawkes blog, far from being outside the media establishment, is very much a part of it. And what of Kempsell, sorry “Lord” Kempsell?

Anyone unsure of just what a nasty piece of work “Lord” Ross Kempsell, ennobled via the recommendation of disgraced former alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, really is, may usefully be referred to this blog’s analysis of his modus operandi from October 2017. When it comes to unpleasantness, Kempsell’s past form is nothing to sniff at.

But his praise for Staines is risible. “Paul’s decades of hard work has built an extraordinary media brand with unparalleled influence inside Westminster and beyond. Paul did nothing less than single-handedly revolutionise political reporting in Britain. Loved by its readers and feared by its competitors, Guido is constantly growing in reach and impact”. Hard work? Paul Staines?

Staines wouldn’t recognise hard work if it jumped up in front of him and kicked him in the undercarriage. Feared? That’s a straight-A Fuck Right Off. And “revolutionise political reporting”? Would that be the lying, the calculated smearing, the constant favouring of increasingly far right views to the exclusion of all else? So all will change, but nothing will change.

Except that Dale Vince might just clean Staines out. If he weren’t so eco minded, Vince might find himself renamed Cillit Bang.

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Morgan McSweeney - The New Polecat

It was not so long ago that now disgraced former alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson was in 10 Downing Street, and his chief advisor was one Dominic Cummings. He was the Original and Genuine Polecat, a fount of megalomania, who knew more about everything and anything than anyone else, because they were all poo holes.

And what happened next was with the inevitability of night following day: in late 2020, even Bozo had had enough of his chief advisor and de facto chief of staff, and out went the Polecat, to the relief of many in and around Government who wished it had happened rather earlier. But that was then, and now we have another Polecat in Downing Street.

Moreover, we have another Polecat whose sense of self-awareness appears to have been surgically removed somewhere along the way: step forward Morgan McSweeney, the completion of whose ascension to undisputed chief Polecat has now been confirmed, perhaps unintentionally, by Pippa Crerar of the Guardian, as yet more of The Great Man’s thoughts are churned over.

McSweeney was “preparing to make ‘radical changes’ to the Downing Street operation … No 10 sources said that ‘nothing was off the table’ when it came to ensuring the machinery of government was fit for purpose, heralding a slew of changes that could reshape the Downing Street organisation”. And who is the source of this word salad, which tells us precisely Sweet Jack?

But there is more. “This could include recasting different teams inside No 10, resolving the pay dispute with special advisers and further bolstering the political side of the operation with more appointments. McSweeney would also take a more data-led approach to decision-making, sources said”. Ooh yes, a data driven approach will get the Daily Mail back in its box. Not.

Have another go. “‘The day-to-day machinery of government doesn’t work properly. Morgan has a different view on how to do things. He’s nothing if not the agent of change,’ said one senior source … ‘He will have to be radical. Nothing is off the table. We’re expected to be running a powerful G7 economy yet sometimes it’s all quite small and analogue. There has to be a better way of doing things.’” More word salad. Which conveys zero information.

Then come the first signs of megalomania. “Downing Street insiders played down the prospect of an imminent cabinet reshuffle despite reports that McSweeney could push for one … [McSweeney] is expected to attend cabinet on Tuesday”. And just exactly who voted for the SOB?

Having shat all over Sue Gray, after shitting all over the previous Labour leadership, McSweeney now has to shift to delivering, organising, and indeed taking responsibility. Schmoozing the Guardian is still in vogue with him, it seems, but he never did kill The Canary. Worse for him, the right-wing press has him in its sights. Titles like the Mail will have him for breakfast.

And that is no matter how hard he tries to shit on others to take the heat off himself, meaning, for bingo card holders, seeing which cabinet ministers are suddenly and inexplicably being briefed against, in the same way that Ms Gray and indeed Jezza were briefed against. Letting him attend Cabinet is a sign of hopeless weakness by Keir Starmer. He will come to regret it.

Behold the new Polecat. Worryingly similar to the old Polecat.

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Sue Gray - Same Old Smear Game

Those who eulogised the new régime in Downing Street after the Tories were rightly consigned to the dustbin of defeat last July might have thought that, now that the grown-ups were allegedly in charge, the old ways of in-fighting, smearing, and piss-poor client journalism would also be binned. Nothing, however, could have been further from the truth.

This has been confirmed after news came yesterday that Sue Gray, formerly chief of staff to Keir Starmer, was leaving her post. A variety of woefully weak excuses were advanced for her departure, while the reality of what was going on was blindingly clear to anyone with brain plugged in and a hole in their jacksy. Ms Gray was the victim of yet another bout of smearing and infighting.

We can deduce this from the BBC report into her departure, which tells “Labour said Ms Gray will be replaced by Morgan McSweeney, who was previously chief adviser to the PM and masterminded Labour’s election campaign”. What a non-surprise. And there is more. Rather a lot more.

“Ms Gray has been subject to intense internal briefings and criticism in a government yet to reach its first 100 days in office, and it's that level of dysfunction that has made it clear to Sir Keir that something needed to shift”. Intense internal briefings from whom? Maybe, oh I dunno, someone like Morgan McSweeney could help us here? But do go on.

“Much more damaging for her, though, was the level of anger towards her at the heart of government, indicated by high level sources being willing to leak the BBC confidential details of her salary”. How high a level are those sources at? High enough to be at a Morgan McSweeney sort of level?

We are constantly reminded that McSweeney was the great election mastermind, while no mention is made of the smear campaign run against the Corbyn leadership, which effectively meant some within the Labour Party working to throw the 2019 General Election. Worse, the 32.1% of the popular vote achieved in that campaign was increased by this year to, er, 33.7%. That’s 6.3% shy of where Corbyn was in 2017. So why the landslide?

Simples. Tories stayed home, or chose Reform UK and the packs of lies peddled by Oberscheissenführer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage. The low turnout meant that Labour actually scored fewer votes than in 2019. So excuse me for not believing the “Mastermind” and “Guru” horseshit. McSweeney seems to have undermined Ms Gray in the same way he undermined Corbyn. Which brings us to the client journalists prepared to do a little churnalism for him.

And clueless does not begin to describe the result. Like Laura Kuenssberg musing “Morgan McSweeney, who ran the election campaign, and is long time political ally of Starmer is the new Chief of Staff - politics over Whitehall?” No, just the result of another smear campaign.

The Murdoch Times has told “‘There was no grid for the first 100 days,’ a senior government source said. ‘And that was the one thing she was expected to be working on while everyone else was busy on the campaign. There was barely a single story about how the culture of government was being changed.’” Does anyone believe that the press would have stopped kicking Starmer if there had been a grid in place? Away with you.

Especially when the same paper is now sneering that Angela Rayner bought her partner a suit, and paid for it with her own money. But “there was no grid”. Yeah, right. Owen Jones asked the obvious question: “is it possible to engage with the fact that Morgan McSweeney's camp led the war against Sue Gray, and has now toppled her? Why pretend this is all the Tory press when you must know McSweeney's camp led the insurgency against her?”

Sources. They didn’t want to lose their Tory sources when The Blue Team were in Government, now they don’t want to lose the Labour ones. And why pretend that McSweeney is some kind of mastermind, just because he can shit all over his opponents? That’s not the same as delivering for the boss.

The right-wing press won’t be mollified by puerile infighting. Morgan McSweeney is about to learn a very hard lesson. Mastermind my arse.

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BBC Bozo And Laura K Shame

The BBC is not having a good time of it right now: quite apart from our free and fearless press relishing putting the boot in over anything to do with Huw Edwards, and the steady flow of claims about what may or may not happen behind the scenes at Strictly, there has been an entirely avoidable foot-in-mouth episode involving new political editor Chris Mason.

Mason discovered that Keir Starmer’s chief of staff Sue Gray was being paid more than the PM. Armed with this information, he continued as if in possession of the Scoop of the Century until Peter Oborne asked him, as one might, “How much do you get paid, Chris?” To which the answer was, rather more than either Ms Gray or Starmer, as Oborne proceeded to tell.

“The BBC political editor (260K pa) thinks it's a story that the Downing Street chief of staff (170K pa) earns more than the PM (167Kpa). Welcome to political journalism! PS Laura Kuenssberg is on 325K, Nick Robinson 340K and Fiona Bruce even more”. And with mention of Ms Kuenssberg, we arrive at the Beeb’s crowning moment of current abject shame.

Yesterday, she proclaimed “One for the diary”. And what would be an event of such major import that it might be added to the diary? This is where the BBC once again generates more questions than answers, because that event is “Boris Johnson - The Laura Kuenssberg Interview”, which gets the prime time slot of 1930 hours on Thursday 3 October. Aren’t you all lucky?

Here in Portugal, there are the more appealing alternatives of rolling news channels (that’s factual TV, as opposed to Bozo’s propensity to talk well, but lie badly), or the latest edition of O Preço Certo. Sadly, the UK will be subjected to disgraced former alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson indulging in another bout of self-promotion and justification.

Mike Galsworthy was unimpressed. “Kuenssberg always seems unhealthily close to Boris Johnson. Given also Robbie Gibb’s continued role at the BBC - this interview smells of chums of Boris Johnson using our licence payer money to promote the man as his new book is coming out”. New book? What that? It is, imaginatively, titled simply “Unleashed”.

Harper Collins wants us to know “Unleashed is a candid, unrestrained, and revealing book by Boris Johnson, the Former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. In Unleashed, Johnson takes readers through all the big decisions during his time in power and why he took them. The challenges and crises, how they were resolved - or not - and how he nearly died from COVID”.

Will it be available in the fiction section of one of the public libraries that have survived all those rounds of Tory cuts? Bozo, after all, is a congenital liar whose ability to generate spontaneous trouser ignition is matched only by Reform UK Oberscheissenführer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage. How long, one has to wonder, has it taken to legal Bozo’s bumper book of lame excuses?

Moreover, how much insight will Ms Kuenssberg bring to events such as turning 10 Downing Street into Party Central during the pandemic, or lying to the Queen in order to improperly prorogue Parliament, or bung eye-watering amounts of money to those providing dodgy PPE, or indeed tens of billions spaffed up the wall, to use Bozo’s happy phrase, on Not Testing And Tracing?

What about a Brexit deal that is slowly but inexorably turning the UK economy into a basket case? What of his trying to whitewash Chris Pincher’s behaviour, the event that finally exhausted the patience of even the Parliamentary Conservative Party? And what will we learn about the role of the press in covering the not inconsiderable Johnson arse?

But those are not reasons for the BBC promoting Bozo; quite the reverse. The real scandal here is that the Corporation is willingly making itself an accomplice to another Johnson money-making scheme, and, worse, an effort to promote someone who has already proved himself to be an utter failure as a politician, and indeed, a failure as a professional human being.

The BBC board should hang their heads in shame. But you know they won’t.

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Grenfell - Westminster’s Shame

“The simple truth is that the deaths that occurred were all avoidable, and those who lived in the tower were badly failed, over a number of years, and in a number of different ways, by those who were responsible for ensuring the safety of the building and its occupants”. Thus the words of Martin Moore-Bick, who chaired the inquiry into the Grenfell Tower fire. There was more.

“They include the Government, the tenant management organisation, the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea, those who manufactured and supplied materials used in the refurbishment, those who certified their suitability for use on high rise buildings, the architect, the principal contractor, and some of its sub-contractors”. 72 deaths, and every one avoidable.

Worse, deputy PM Angela Rayner has noted that “Of 4,630 buildings identified with dangerous cladding, 50% are in remediation works”. However, “only 29% have had the remediation completed”. Moreover, there is a “culture in this country where [tenants] are considered lesser people, and that's disgraceful”. So one might think the Government is taking this seriously.

But one would have thought wrong, if the scenes in Parliament immediately prior to Keir Starmer’s statement on Grenfell are anything to go by. This came after Prime Minister’s Questions; for this event, the Commons chamber is packed out. But then, after PMQs concluded, the Commons began to empty.

In fact, it was more of an exodus: scores, if not hundreds, of MPs from both sides of the House making themselves scarce before Starmer made his statement. Some commentators recoiled at this display of indifference, one of those being ITV political editor Robert Peston, who was simply aghast.

“I was genuinely a bit upset, actually, when I looked at the chamber. Actually, vast numbers of MPs simply left after Prime Minister’s Questions, that was not … I thought, for this statement, it would be bursting at the seams with MPs - it wasn’t. There were lots and lots of empty seats there, and I was quite shocked by that, actually. I mean, this was one of … Grenfell, for I think anybody … who’s not a child, was one of the defining moments in this country’s history, of the last thirty years”. He was not alone.

Over on BBC Newsnight, Vice-Chair of Grenfell United Karim Mussilhy told “The Prime Minister’s about to give [his statement] … you just see a flourish of bodies in Parliament heading out, leaving … that room was more than half empty. This is the culture we’re talking about. How are we supposed to get justice when they don’t even care”. Even some new MPs walked out.

Easily identifiable by his gait, his appearance, and indeed his walking stick, was Labour’s “spreadsheet overlord” Luke Akehurst. Those no longer welcome in a Labour Party where Akehurst and his pals wield power were reduced to making their voices heard from outside the Commons. One of their number was former MP Emma Dent Coad, who did not mince her words.

“What we want is very clear lines of accountability ... we need to know who is actually accountable, who made the decisions ... and who can be pinned down and charged. Most people, when I talk to them, they want to see people in jail”. But she’s a Rotten Leftie™, and they get the blame dumped on them.

As I noted at the time, the assembled idiocy of the Tory right blamed her, Sadiq Khan, Jeremy Corbyn, Labour councillors, and definitely not anyone who had anything to do with The Blue Team - people like Eric Pickles, who wanted the Grenfell Inquiry to know that he was a very busy man, and had had to work terribly hard to fit his visit to that inquiry into his diary.

Corbyn said in the aftermath of the Grenfell fire that it “should never have happened. Every single one of those deaths could and should have been avoided”. Now, the game playing faction of Labour’s NEC just walks out of the Commons before Starmer makes his statement on the inquiry. Anyone might think that they didn’t give a flying foxtrot about ordinary people.

Who is it MPs are supposed to represent? Looking at the Commons scenes, one might think some of them would have a problem answering that one.

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Labour And A Bad Landlord

Remember all those deselection scare stories put about by bad faith actors when Jeremy Corbyn was Labour leader? All the claims of constituencies having candidates imposed, sitting MPs of inconvenient thought being removed, alleged “Trots” substituted? It made for lots of scary copy. It was also total horseshit. But since Jezza stood down? Ah well.

Jas Athwal

While one particularly blatant attempt to remove a left-leaning MP failed (that being Ian Byrne in Liverpool West Derby), there was an especially fractious deselection in Ilford South, with incumbent Sam Tarry being forcibly replaced by local council leader Jas Athwal. This may have met with approval from those holding power in the Labour Party, but was not well thought through.

Tarry had been disciplined for having the audacity to stand on a picket line with his fellow Trades Unionists. The incident, which happened at London’s Euston station, clearly got his card marked. And while the game-playing adolescents who hold sway in The Red Team might have thought they’d put one over on the Rotten Lefties™, the deselection has returned to bite them.

Because Jas Athwal is now in a whole load of trouble, and for reasons that are causing serious embarrassment to Labour. Athwal owns properties (plural), which are rented out. Yes, he is a landlord. As the BBC has reported, “Jas Athwal, the newly-elected MP for Ilford South, owns 15 rental flats, making him the biggest landlord in the House of Commons”. There was more.

“A Labour MP rents out flats with black mould and ant infestations, the BBC has discovered”. Oh dear. Do go on. “In one block of seven flats owned by Mr Athwal nearly half the tenants said they had to regularly clean their bathroom ceilings to remove mould. Mr Athwal has now also admitted his flats do not have the correct property licences required under a scheme he introduced as Redbridge Council leader. He had earlier claimed to the BBC that he had complied with the rules”. Didn’t follow his own rules. Lied to the Beeb.

But all would be well, because there would be remedial action. “Mr Athwal said he was ‘shocked’ and ‘profoundly sorry’ to hear of residents' issues, which he had not been aware of due to the properties being managed by an agency, and promised repairs and maintenance will be completed ‘swiftly’”.

So no more “When [the BBC] visited the properties, which are above an empty shop in Ilford, the communal areas were dirty and the lights did not work. Fire alarms were hanging loose from the ceiling, and a washing machine had been dumped next to a set of stairs”, then?

And no more “On top of the black mould, the BBC saw evidence of ant infestations in a number of the seven properties” either? Maybe realising he was in deep doo-doo, Athwal let it be known that he was dispensing with the services of his letting agent. But he has convinced very few people.

Also, the BBC noted “[Athwal] added he did not take on tenants on housing benefit to avoid conflicts of interest with his role as the local council leader”, which is against equality law. Small wonder his protestations fell on deaf ears, with the word “Resign” featuring prominently in responses. Moreover, the impression was given that Athwal only took action because he got caught.

Meanwhile, Mish Raman - who sits on Labour’s NEC - mused “I am shocked and sickened that a mould and ant infested property owning slum landlord has the Labour whip while the likes of Apsana Begum, Zarah Sultana, Ian Byrne don't because they voted to remove the two child benefit cap … Keir Starmer's high quality candidate”. Athwal really should resign his seat.

And those at the top of the Labour Party should be pressing him to do so. But then a problem enters: Ilford South should be an ultra-safe seat, but Athwal’s majority was less than 7,000, and he scored just over 40% of the vote, as opposed to Tarry’s 2019 24,000 and 65.6% respectively. The humiliation of losing that seat will have Labour’s power brokers recoiling in horror.

Not winning Chingford and Woodford Green, being handed their arses by Jeremy Corbyn - well, Labour game players, do you feel … lucky?

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GB News Complains - DIDDUMS

Several years ago, Jon Stewart coined a new term to describe Fox News Channel (fair and balanced my arse), in the wake of accusations that much of what the broadcaster put out was not news, but instead merely opinion, and despite the protestations of those at FNC such as Bill O’Reilly - claiming that the channel’s output was marked, like that of a newspaper.

You would expect a newspaper to separate news and comment, went Bill-O’s argument. But Stewart was having none of it: it was not Fox “News”, he concluded, but Fox “Opinutainment”. That term should be borne in mind when considering the low moaning sound emanating from Gammon Broadcasting™ News (“Bacon’s News Channel”) over its treatment by the Government.

The channel’s political editor Christopher “No” Hope had held his hand in the air during a recent Downing Street press conference, hoping that Keir Starmer would call on him to put a question. “[GB News] has only been called to ask a question by Sir Keir Starmer once in five press conferences since Labour’s election win last month. If you look closely you can spot me, with my hand in the air today in the Downing St garden” he whinged to no avail.

Why would the PM ignore the entreaties of Hope, who represents the channel whose star presenter is self-appointed Reform UK Oberscheissenführer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage, a nailed-on congenital liar, racist bigot and con-man? About whom the channel had recently spun a pack of lies? Here’s the story.

From the BBC report, “A man who threw items towards Reform UK leader Nigel Farage during his general election campaign has been handed a suspended prison sentence. Josh Greally, from Chesterfield, was filmed throwing objects while Mr Farage was travelling on an open-top bus in Barnsley on 11 June”. He pled guilty. And the outcome?

He “was given a six-week prison sentence suspended for 12 months”. And what of those “objects” he chucked? “Video from the incident showed Mr Farage shielding his face while items, believed to be coffee cups, hit the side of the double-decker”. Coffee cups. And in the GB News retelling? “Farage attacker DODGES jail after hurling block of cement at Reform leader”.

Christopher Hope - like "hope someone tunes in"

Mr Thirsty has gone along with this, and is now putting out a Tweet claiming “Throw cement at me, walk free”. So how does GB News get away with this flagrant dishonesty? Simples. It tells broadcast regulator Ofcom that it is not a news broadcaster. Like Fox News Channel, its bag is “Opinutainment”. Not that presenter Michelle Dewberry has, it seems, received this message.

Off she went: “last night (day of Starmer’s speech) for a key news hour, 6pm, my show had much higher ratings than Sky News … We are not ‘hostile’, we would just ask challenging questions”. Yeah, right. Like an occasional left of centre voice is occasionally featured, just so they can be shouted down.

Trevor McArdle reminded her “But Michelle … You’re not a news channel? Merely an ‘entertainment channel’ … Or have Ofcom got that wrong?” Nick Jones added “They tell Ofcom that they’re an ‘entertainment channel’ to escape sanction and Ofcom believe them. Then they bellyache about not being treated as a news organisation. Make your mind up lads or we might start thinking you’re trying to have it both ways and taking us all for fools”.

Mark Bentley concluded “Just [GB News] having difficulty coming to terms with a new government that doesn’t accord it the undeserved preference that the previous one did. Never mind - they’ll be out of business in the next year or so”. Cruel. Cruel but fair: without tens of millions being thrown at it on a regular basis, the broadcaster cannot hope to be viable over time.

But there is some good news coming out of this noise floor whinging: Farage is now telling anyone not yet asleep “I’ll never go to the pub again if outdoor smoking is banned”. Like he was going to go and live elsewhere, but never did, because that, too, was another pack of lies. Which he can peddle on GB News, because it’s not a news channel. Hello Christopher Hope.

Labour treats GB News with contempt. Why not? Everyone else does.

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Oh Tommy - The Mail Gotcha

During the campaign of intimidation, harassment, threatening, doxxing, and, one has to say it, flagrantly lying in order to pursue his agenda by Stephen Yaxley Lennon, who styles himself Tommy Robinson, the thought has occasionally entered as to how he would like it if it was him getting that treatment, if the boot were to be firmly on the other foot.

Now we know: Lennon does not like it one bit. Worse, while he has been whining about articles in the Guardian and Murdoch Times, it is the paper most skilled in the art of spiteful monstering of its targets, the Daily Mail, that has come for him. Now he knows how all those victims of press misbehaviour felt. But his response means there will be no sympathy for him.

Worse, there will be rather less than a snowball’s chance in hell of the Mail cutting him some slack and maybe backing off, of which more later. First, the story: Lennon has arrived in Cyprus, more specifically somewhere in the area of Ayia Napa, at a five star all-inclusive hotel. It’s possible it was not the Mail that figured out where he was. But now they have him in their sights, well.

On the front page you go! “Tinderbox Britain … STOKING RACE RIOTS FROM HIS SUNBED … Former English Defence League leader Tommy Robinson relaxes in five-star Cyprus resort while fuelling violence across UK with inflammatory online posts”. There was more: “Robinson, 41, shared a series of fake stories over the weekend including claims that Muslims had stabbed protesters in Staffordshire and attacked three women in Scotland”.

Just wait until Northcliffe House’s finest get to work on his film SILENCED, which is chock-full with packs of lies from one end to the other, even though he declaims them loudly and aggressively, while calling anyone opposing him a liar. So how did Lennon take the attention from the Mail?

Not at all well. “If you haven’t all noticed their plan is to pin all of this violence on me . My documentary is at 30 million views, it’s a huge blow to their corrupt judiciary’s credibility. They want pay back”. Not a good idea to brag about how many views your dishonest and defamatory film is getting.

There was more. “My kids are crying , we come here so I could spend some quality time with them . Now they are scared people are coming here to get them. The daily Mail have purposely doxxed the exact location of my family . How can they be allowed to do this”. Thought you had an exclusive on doxxing your targets, eh? The Mail did not give the exact location. And why do the kids think someone is coming to get them? Who told them that?

Then he lost it: “these lies have a direct result on threats to my family . Is it ok if I track down the journalists addresses & families details & dox them? Would that be journalism. This has been coordinated from the top down because my latest documentary humiliates their lies. They have purposely doxxed where my children are is it fair for me to do the same to them”. Do go on.

“By tomorrow I’ll have every bit of information on the journalists who wrote these lies & endangered & caused fear to my children. This is not acceptable behaviour, it’s intimidation by a corrupt & morally bankrupt media”. But it’s OK when he does it to anyone else. And if his source for that information is an actual journalist, they may well back off doxxing the Mail.

Because that would incur the Mail’s displeasure. You don’t want to go there. What Lennon should be looking at is why he got busted. And, as Jon Stewart might have said, two things here. One, the Mail isn’t exactly immune to anti-Muslim bigotry: better to shop a convenient scapegoat, so that all the attention homes in elsewhere. Which brings us to Two.

If Lennon thinks he has the backing of some important actors out there, he can think again. When the Mail dumps on you, one reason they do so is that nobody really important is going to lean on them and tell them to desist. Not only has the Mail dumped on Lennon, it’s highly likely that it’s had the green light to do so. He thought he had clout? Not any more he doesn’t.

Stephen Lennon’s little Wild West Show just ran out of road. Rejoice!

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Oh Tommy Tommy - Bravely Ran Away

The question has now been answered: yes, Stephen Yaxley Lennon, who styles himself Tommy Robinson, did indeed get himself arrested yesterday, and yes, he was detained under the Terrorism Act 2000. But then came the reasoning behind the detention, and the further news that Lennon has once again taken all those faithful followers of his for so many mugs.

What Lennon did not tell when he made yesterday’s pitch for supporters to hand over more of their hard earned money was which Police force had arrested him. We only knew that it was not the Met. Moreover, the assumption that he had been nicked because of something that happened during his rally on Saturday proved to be wide of the mark.

The Great Man had been stopped while attempting to board a EuroTunnel shuttle service. In other words, he’d been nicked while attempting to flee the country in advance of a court hearing today - concerning his alleged contempt of court over showing his film SILENCED, where he tells a whole stack of flat-out and indeed defamatory lies. And where does the Terrorism Act come in?

Simples. He was asked to unlock his phone. He refused. That is an offence under the Terrorism Act 2000, and one where he would not be within his rights to not say anything, not that Lennon needs much prompting to open his North and South. So his phone was confiscated. By the time he was bailed, thousands would have been stumped up from those supporters.

So what did he do after being bailed? With his presence required at court today, and the certainty of an arrest warrant being issued should he decline to appear, he showed all those supporters just what mugs they were. Brave Tommy ran away: he just got his motor onto the next EuroTunnel shuttle and away he went to France, out of the jurisdiction of the courts.

As the BBC has reported, "A senior judge has issued an arrest warrant for far-right campaigner Stephen Yaxley-Lennon - better known by his alias Tommy Robinson - after learning he has left the country on the eve of a major legal case against him … Yaxley-Lennon left the UK by a Eurotunnel train on Sunday night”. The barrister representing the Attorney General had more.

“We understand he failed to cooperate with a port stop and search … The implication is he was attempting to leave the country and therefore was not intending to attend this hearing this morning … The information that we have is that he is not within the jurisdiction of the United Kingdom”. The Judge decided that the contempt of court application should proceed anyway.

So where will The Great Man fetch up? Who knows, and, indeed, who cares? If he’s driving, it’ll probably be the Spanish mainland. Like the place on the Costa Blanca he was occupying not long ago. When he tried for the umpteenth time to smear anyone mentioning he was living in that approximate area as giving away his address and endangering his family.

Already the more gullible part of his fan base is claiming Lennon is on a “long arranged holiday”. Like heck he is. Were that true, it would merely confirm that he had no intention of facing justice today. He claimed he would be prepared to go to jail. But when push came to shove, he just pocketed all those donations and ran away. So what will happen to supporters’ money?

A significant part of it will be snorted away. More will go on rental and upkeep costs for whatever upmarket and exclusive property The Great Man chooses to occupy for the next few months, while hoping to stay out of trouble and therefore not give the authorities in Spain (or wherever) an excuse to send him back to a jurisdiction where that arrest warrant can be used on him.

More will be expended on food and drink, which someone else will procure and prepare - Lennon won’t be seen slumming it down the local Consum or Mercadona. And don’t forget the cost of that private pool. Stephen Lennon’s fans can pretend all they like - the reality is that their donations are just being used to fuel The Great Man’s upmarket lifestyle. They’ve been had for mugs.

He’s run away with your money, mugs. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

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Oh Tommy Tommy - Phantom Arrest

And so it came to pass that Stephen Yaxley Lennon, who styles himself Tommy Robinson, called his faithful followers to London, where those able to stay the course without falling asleep and/or drifting off to the nearest source of LAWGAH, GINNIS or maybe SMOOV were given a screening of his latest attempt to portray himself as a journalist, a documentary called SILENCED.

However, and here we encounter a significantly-sized however, there was a problem with this magnum opus: there is a High Court injunction out there, banning his or indeed anyone else’s screening of this film. This may not be unconnected with Lennon, as he presents his talking points, talking well, but lying badly. Lying very badly indeed, in fact. And there is more.

The Great Man is due at a court hearing tomorrow in connection with his allegedly having committed Contempt of Court. Should this be considered proven, he is looking at a custodial sentence of up to two years. Over at Hope not Hate, Nick Lowles was in no doubt what the result would be.

“Tommy Robinson is currently screening the film Silenced in Trafalgar Square, just 48 hours before he appears in the High Court accused of breaking an injunction preventing him from releasing the film.. He’s heading to jail”. Which would be his fifth custodial sentence. In the meantime, his passport needs to be seized. Because he’s a nailed-on flight risk.

Lowles had more. “The Attorney General’s office have been made aware of Tommy Robinson screening a film he was banned from showing. Such a flagrant disregard for the law could well see him facing the maximum two-year sentence. Only himself to blame … Questions have to be asked of [the Metropolitan Police]. Did they know that Tommy Robinson was going to screen a film that contravened a High Court order? Why did officers stand by and allow a film, banned in the U.K., to be shown?”. Why indeed?

It’s possible that the cops made the judgment call on the basis that lifting Lennon yesterday may have resulted in significant unrest - because his followers, for whom The Great Man’s word is gospel truth and not a stream-of-consciousness pack of lies, would have kicked off. But now that they have all dispersed, the Rozzers have moved in and caused Lennon to be nicked.

Or so it seems: Stephen Yaxley Lennon has this morning been arrested. His Twitter feed says “We can confirm that Tommy Robinson has been detained by Police using powers afforded to them under the Terrorism Act 2000 … Tommy is being held by Police using counter terrorism legislation”.

But then came a problem: Lennon’s Twitter feed claimed he’d been nicked, but that of Urban Scoop, which promotes the message of Himself Personally Now, had said nothing. Worse, while our free and fearless press were reporting on the alleged arrest, they were hedging their bets.

Like Mail Online, who told “MailOnline has been unable to independently confirm that Robinson has been arrested … The Metropolitan Police has told MailOnline is 'does not recognise' the claims made in the post and that if he had been taken into custody there was 'no Met involvement’”. Even GB News added the caveat “according to his social media account".

And guess what? The Lennon Twitter feed has also told his followers “ADMIN POST - PLEASE SIGN THE PETITION TO PRESSURE THE ATTORNEY GENERAL TO PUT A STOP TO THE POLITICAL PROSECUTION OF TOMMY ROBINSON. GO TO [truthontrial DOT co DOT uk]". What a coincidence - Lennon needs lots of signatures on his petition to the AG, Lennon gets arrested, Lennon’s useful idiots sign up in support.

But why would Lennon lie about getting nicked? Well, for starters, we don’t know if he has been lifted or not. But it’s another of those embarrassing chains of events. As Louise Raw, who you can tell as she’s a doctor, puts it, “what we call arrests, HE calls PAYDAYS!” The event to keep an eye out for is his hearing tomorrow. And what happens as a result of that hearing.

One thing you can believe about Stephen Lennon is not to believe him at all.

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Behold The New Entitled Elite

One word that endures, whoever is in power, is Entitlement. It was on display throughout the tenure of disgraced former alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson; this, sadly, continued through the blessedly brief interregnum of batshit and utterly inept Liz Truss, and has been maintained by the self-promoting failure that is Rishi Sunak.

The New Elite 1 - Luke Akehurst ...

What has become clear, furthermore, is that, in its own way, entitlement will be the name of the game for Labour when, as now seems inevitable, the Party clears out the Tories tomorrow and takes power for the first time since 2010. The new entitled elite will not be Something In The City, and nor will they have a berth in or near 55 Tufton Street. But they will still be entitled.

And they will still be elite, although in a different way. Not for the up-and-coming Labour entitled elite the moonlighting on Gammon Broadcasting™ News (“Bacon’s News Channel”). Not for them the column in the Mail, Telegraph, Express, or indeed the Spectator, the latter’s summer parties about to become a sad irrelevance, and deservedly so.

No, the new Entitled Elite of Labour will show their entitlement through their hold on power, on the party, controlling who is in, who is out, who is to be praised, and who has incurred their displeasure. Availability of directorships is out. Ennoblement may only be temporary, unlike the Tories. Seats in the Commons, SpAd appointments, vacancies for backroom plotters, are in.

They will be featured in the Guardian (BTDTGTTS), or in some cases, they already have been, such is the swaggering confidence bordering on downright arrogance. We’ve seen Spreadsheet Shitlord Extraordinaire Luke “Arthur Putey” Akehurst described in almost fawning terms - “Really Nice Guy” - before he was imposed on the constituency of North Durham.

Also given a fawning write-up in the same paper has been Morgan McSweeney, readers told how he is supposedly considering only allowing sitting MPs to vote on a new Labour leader, should the need arise between General Elections. Which sounds like a reduction in democracy. So does the implication that General Election manifestos be effectively imposed.

... The New Elite 2 - Morgan McSweeney

He, the Guardian feature suggests, will be entitled to A Big Job, come the expected victory. After all, he and Uncool Hand Luke stayed and fought the dastardly Rotten Lefties™. One sincerely hopes that staying and fighting also included backing the party in the 2017 and 2019 General Elections. Because it is all too clear that some others did not. And that is beyond unforgivable.

This may induce in some readers a sense of Déjà Vu, that we have been here before. So we have. It was a baffling attribute of the New Labour project that the control freakery extended to imposing Their Selected People on electorates such as those in Wales, and Greater London.

Hence the digging in of heels to stop Rhodri Morgan becoming First Minister of Wales. This did not go well, Ron Davies embroiled in a scandal, and Alun Michael departing before a no confidence vote. Also not going well was Frank Dobson’s candidacy for Mayor of London. After Ken Livingstone left Labour and stood as an independent, he won. Dobson came third, behind Tory hopeful “Shagger” Norris. Control freakery has a record of not working.

What is also clear is that the new Entitled Elite has no problem with the bouts of flat-out lying that have come with Starmer’s leadership. The current leader made all manner of promises to get the job, and has since reneged on every one of them. But this does not concern the new Entitled Elite, for the same reason that right-wing lobbyists don’t care that they lied too.

That reason is that, as with Vote Leave and subsequent Brexit negotiations, too many people in that party bubble see it all as a game. Lying to secure the EU referendum vote? It’s only a game, we won, you lost, tee hee hee. So it is with the new Entitled Elite. Candidates kicked out in favour of loyal bag carriers? We won, you lost, tee hee hee. But here a problem enters.

It’s not a game for tens of millions of screwed over voters. Just a thought.

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Oh Tommy Tommy - Still A Racist

It was back in late April 2017 that Stephen Yaxley Lennon, who styles himself Tommy Robinson, knocked very loudly at my front door in the dead of night to claim - wrongly - that I had been telling lies about him. He had taken grave offence to having been called a racist. So in the cause of free speech, he would do his best to deprive me of my ability to do just that.

Lennon rocked up the next night too, and thus The Curse Of Zelo was, and indeed remains, upon him. A variety of scrapes with the law, and unsuccessful legal actions, later, and he is still telling packs of lies about anyone and everyone who done him wrong. Today, his particular bête noire is something else that is untrue - the claim that there is “two tier Policing”.

In pursuit of leveraging this claim for the benefit of Himself Personally Now, The Great Man has fronted a gathering of the Gammonati in central London today, accompanied by washed-up former minor thesp, never-was chanteur, and dead on arrival failed politician Laurence Fox. This would show the world that Lennon was not only active, but in London!

And there was more: not only would there be that gathering, Lennon would première his latest video production, an item called Lawfare. The cops requested a sight of this magnum opus, but at this point Lennon bristled. “I made the film, I’m a journlalist [yeah, right], and I’m going to play the documentary. It’s unreasonable and overreaching of the Police to interfere”.

Was it now? Do go on. “There’s nothing inciteful, nothing that breaks the law, it’s not inflammatory towards other communities, I promise you that. We had people asking to play videos of Mohammed. There’s nothing like that happening, I assure you … we’re talking about freedom of speech, we’re talking about the Government, the establishment and [abuse of power]”.

Lennon is then asked for a sight of the video. His response is unequivocal. “Lads … lads … straight up, you’re not viewing it … your job, and our job, is to facilitate a peaceful protest. Obviously if you try and prevent the airing of the film, you know you’re not going to do that. You know you’re going to provoke a serious reaction, and cause chaos”. Is he making threats?

Whatever. Let’s compare Lennon’s assurance that there was “nothing like” Mohammed, and test the claim by studying the banner behind which he and Dear Dear Larry marched. A banner that said “THIS IS LONDON, NOT LONDONISTAN”. That would suggest very strongly that Lennon flat-out lied to the cops in that phone call. And it would suggest he is still a racist bigot.

Reinforcing that thought is the appearance behind the banner of failed amateur kidnapper Danny Tommo. Further reinforcement was provided by little children loudly shouting “Allah! Allah! Who the fuck is Allah?” with video provided by racist organisation Turning Point UK, who told “Young children join in on a chant criticising Allah at the anti-two-tier policing demo in London”.

The “peaceful” protest was interrupted - but peacefully, you understand - by several of those attending giving Nazi salutes. Nick Lowles of Hope Not Hate saw two Lennon fans outside a phone box and mused “Nice to see Tommy Robinson supporters relieving themselves in public”. Usually, they take turns to use the phone box as a pissoir. Not the Lennon brains trust.

But let’s cut to the chase here: this is just another excuse to dust off the Islamophobia, with another chant, “Allah Allah you’re a c***”, providing yet more of that reinforcement. And the Islamophobia is, in itself, another excuse to start smearing all brown people as “Pakis”, a loaded and blatantly racist term. Lennon claims it’s not about Mohammed, or racism. He is lying.

The Nazi salutes, the little kids effing and blinding, the clear attempt to smear London Mayor Sadiq Khan, the use of the loaded hate term “Londonistan”, and above all, the refusal to give the Metropolitan Police a sight of his not-really-inflammatory-towards-other-communities film, brings us to one conclusion: Lennon was a racist when I called him out for it in 2017.

And he’s still a racist. One who is promoting Himself Personally Now.

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Kemi Badenoch Sells The Pass

Business Secretary Kemi Badenoch represents the constituency of Saffron Walden, sitting on a majority of more than 27,500. As such, she is one of the few Tories likely to survive even the most serious swing away from her party come the General Election. This means she can afford the occasional lapse into serious stupid territory, such as her latest “Brexit Freedoms” whopper.

Kemi Badenoch

This has come via the obedient recycling of a press release by the inmates of the Northcliffe House bunker, where readers were told “Pavement dining to become a 'permanent feature of the high street' as Business secretary Kemi Badenoch announces plans to remove red tape for pubs, restaurants and cafes to make the most of 'Brexit freedoms’”. Ri-i-i-ight. Do go on.

“Kemi Badenoch yesterday announced a package of reforms to boost businesses. Plans unveiled by the Business Secretary include proposals to remove regulations that make it hard for pubs, restaurants and cafes to get permission to serve customers outside”. And given the by-line of the Mail’s political editor Jason Groves. Billed as “Brexit freedoms”.

There was more. “Pubs could also be given the automatic right to sell takeaway pints. Temporary allowances were granted during the pandemic but are due to expire next year”. Is this another of those “Brexit freedoms”? Whatever. “Small firms like cafes and corner shops could be permitted to 'self-certify' for some functions, meaning they would not be 'subjected to needless inspections or mandatory training courses' before they can serve customers”. But there is a problem with this meaningless drivel.

Despite quoting Ms Badenoch (or “Mrs” Badenoch in last-Century Mail speak) more or less verbatim, telling “This Government is seizing the benefits of Brexit by reducing burdens on business, pushing down the cost of living, and driving growth in every corner of the economy”, someone doesn’t get it.

One problem Groves did not have with his article was finding photos to illustrate the idea of “pavement dining”. Because - especially in big cities, like, er, London, within walking distance of Parliament, and indeed the Mail’s offices, there is rather a lot of “pavement dining”. And it gets worse.

There is also a significant amount of “pavement drinking”, as anyone who has visited places like the Euston Tap will know. This is on account of most drinking space at such places not being inside the building that dispenses the beer. Outside tables, tall ones for standing, and a more normal height for sitting and eating, are an established feature of many outlets.

For starters, that allows those who cannot manage without a smoke to visit and enjoy the food and drink on offer. And the idea that this is a “Brexit freedom” is bunk. From where I live, a trip across the river to Lisbon brings home the reality that in many of the city’s streets, there is so much outside seating that just walking has become a veritable obstacle course.

Indeed, I can think of one craft beer outlet where all the seating is outside on the street (AMO Brewery on the Rua Bernardim Ribeiro, for those asking). One of the most recommendable Bifanas (look it up) in town, from the hole in the wall at Afonso’s just off the Rua Madalena, has to be consumed standing up, or sitting under the big tree nearby. This is not a rarity.

The demand for seating at the legendary A Brasileira café is for the outside kind. Because guidebook and people watching. And seeing how many punters you can cram on to one of those passing trams (officially 58, which is grim enough, but unofficially rather more). Portugal is an EU member state and likely to remain so. This claimed “Brexit freedom” ISN’T.

But such is the grovelling subservience of the Mail, part of its desperation to prop up the rapidly-eroding credibility of the Government, that it is prepared to have its political editor put his name to this slice of baloney, mainly because Ms Badenoch is seen as a rising star of the Tory party. This is thin gruel to put before the readers. Which just enforces the sense of impending wipeout.

The voters know what pavement dining is like. They’ve visited the EU.

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Buckland Elphicke Attack BACKFIRES

As if seasoned media watchers needed reminding, the right-leaning part of our free and fearless press shills shamelessly for the Tory Party - no matter how corrupt, inept or dysfunctional it gets - while failing to do its homework, so desperate is it to take its readers for mugs. Today has brought an excellent example from both the Murdoch and Rothermere empires.

Natalie Elphicke has crossed the aisle and joined Labour. Therefore she has become disloyal to the cause, a turncoat. As such, all the dirt the press has accumulated on her can now be dished. This analysis is not supporting her - her views are particularly distasteful - but her attackers are lower still. Worse, they and their main source have missed something rather important.

Still, let’s consider the press offerings, however lame they are. The Sunday Times claims “Elphicke ‘asked lord chancellor for favour over husband’s trial’ … Defector MP wanted case moved to lessen publicity”. Looks like those all-important quotation marks are doing some rather heavy lifting there.

Over at the Mail on Sunday, we get “As Starmer faces backlash over Natalie Elphicke’s defection, another bombshell … TURNCOAT MP ASKED MINISTER TO PULL STRINGS FOR HUSBAND’S SEX ABUSE TRIAL”. TURNCOAT! TRAITAH!! Telling readers what to think once more, and remember, the Mail titles were the ones that refused to be persuaded of New Labour’s case back in 1997. They were Tory then, and will be next time.

So, predictably, we also get “The claims are likely to prove embarrassing for Sir Keir, a former Director of Public Prosecutions”. What the merry fuck has his time as DPP got to do with it? Over to the BBC: “Natalie Elphicke, the new Labour MP for Dover, has been accused of lobbying ministers over her then-husband Charlie's sexual assault case”. Yes? Yes yes? Yes yes yes?

“Ms Elphicke is accused of asking Sir Robert Buckland, the then Justice Secretary, to help move the date of the case, apparently to avoid publicity. A spokesman for Ms Elphicke, who defected from the Conservatives last week, said the claims were ‘nonsense’". And then the $64,000 question. “Labour questioned why they were not raised earlier”. I’ll bet they did.

Let’s have a little more detail on that question. “A Labour Party spokesman had said: ‘Natalie Elphicke totally rejects that characterisation of the meeting … If Robert Buckland had any genuine concerns about the meeting, then he should have raised them at the time, rather than making claims to the newspapers now Natalie has chosen to join the Labour Party”. Quite.

Darren Guy was one of those not persuaded by the timing of this allegedly exclusive piece of allegedly investigative journalism. “Its amazing how the tory press ignored her while she was sitting on the ‘correct’ bench but turned on her the minute she was sitting on the ‘wrong’ bench. Makes you wonder what else they have on current tory MPs but are keeping quiet about it”.

Liz Gerard mused “Buckland and the Tories now have questions to answer. He may have acted properly, but they shielded her”, and John Crace was on the same page: “Curious that Robert Buckland didn’t remember Natalie Elphicke had lobbied him over her husband’s court case when she was still a Tory MP”. LBC host James O’Brien was yet more unimpressed.

“This is an incredible illustration of how completely bent the Tories are & how completely commonplace it is now. Here, they’re saying, is a ‘scandal’ we have kept secret for four years - please use it to attack Labour, who knew absolutely nothing about it”. The potential blowback for Buckland is worse.

If Ms Elphicke has broken the law, he has potentially broken it too - for covering up her alleged misbehaviour. And with the Tories 30 points behind Labour in the opinion polls to add to a shockingly bad series of local and Mayoral election results (plus another of those Parliamentary by-election upsets), all that an already weary electorate is going to see is yet more Tory Sleaze. The same thing that did for John Major all those years ago.

Crap politics, meet crap journalism. The electorate has stopped listening.

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