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Friday 30 April 2021

Tory Fox Returns To BBC Hen House

As if the BBC had not yet been infiltrated by enough Tories, the Government of alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson has decided to impose another on the increasingly emasculated Corporation. Robbie Gibb, a self-confessedThatcherite Tory”, is to become the BBC Board’s member for England - despite his recent exploits.

Who's the new board member batting for?

Those include, as the Mail on Sunday told at the time, “Sir Robbie Gibb - who was a senior BBC executive before becoming Theresa May’s director of communications at No 10 - is spearheading a drive to raise funds for GB News”. Which would be about what, exactly? "The channel will be a truly impartial source of news, unlike the woke, wet BBC. It will deliver the facts, not opinion dressed up as news”. Which is what he oversaw.

Remember former Murdoch editor Andrew Neil using the Sunday Politics to push climate change denial? Or the infamous Daily Politics orchestration of a shadow ministerial resignation live on air, timed to give Young Dave maximum advantage against Jezza? Well impartial that was. As was touting for cash in order to fund a competitor.

Is it this outfit ...

A Channel 4 News investigation noted thatIn a series of late night emails to Mr Gibb, [Arron] Banks described the [Panorama] story as a ‘smear campaign’ and threatened to make a formal complaint … Afterwards, Mr Banks emailed another Leave.EU director, saying: ‘I don’t think they will Run it after all that lot . You will have a busy week next week since Robbie will react by giving us massive exposure”. And there was more.

In his book about the referendum campaign, Arron Banks recounted the incident, claiming: ‘Robbie Gibb is being quite helpful and says he’s trying to hose it down'”. That, it seems, was the Panorama exposé that never was: investigating illegal behaviour by the two Leave campaigns in the run-up to the 2016 referendum.

... or this one?

No bad Brexit news was, apparently, getting through. Moreover, as James Chapman revealed, “I had dinner with [Robbie Gibb] and others while working [at the Department for exiting the EU] and he had lots of interesting suggestions for how to get more positive Brexit stories on [BBC News]”. What was that about “impartiality”?

Gibb, in the meantime, has been dispensing punditry with the assistance of the right-leaning part of our free and fearless press, exemplified by the headline “Tackling BBC bias will be a mammoth task” and his Tweet promoting the article asserting “New BBC staff social media guidelines published today, may be the start of reform but I doubt it will end there and nor should it. The BBC can only justify itself as a publicly-funded broadcaster if it provides something its rivals do not - impartial news and entertainment”.

Robbie Gibb’s problem is that, as a self-declared Thatcherite and ardent Brexiteer, he is bound to view “bias” through that prism. By his own admission, he joined the BBC to correct what he, as a Tory - “not a Chris Patten Tory” though - saw as bias. The result has been shows that benefit the Tories, and take the heat off Brexiteer wrongdoing. That is not rectifying bias. It is introducing bias - by intervention, and indeed censorship.

Now he has been appointed by Bozo and Co to the BBC’s board. Having failed to totally foul up the Corporation last time around, it looks like he’s been awarded a second chance.

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Brexit Still Not Someone Else’s Fault

For those who shilled for Brexit, promoted Brexit through their writings and media appearances, celebrated Brexit, and are now defending Brexit, reality is proving not merely inconvenient, but downright difficult. As a result, an alternate reality is being spun, not least by the likes of Allister Heath, who has for some reason been made the Sunday edition editor at the increasingly desperate and downmarket Telegraph.

Allister Heath

In addition to this job, Heath churns out wayward and revisionist drivel on the EU, the latest being a shoo-in for a Terry Fuckwitt Gold Award. Titled “The EU’s abominable behaviour is about to spark a new Brexit war”, this weapons grade bullpucky details a series of supposed “provocations” coming from those dastardly Eurocrats.

These include “the despicable, counterproductive demonisation of AstraZeneca [not from the EU, it hasn’t], the ban on the exports of shellfish [not exceptional, just applying EU rules to a Third Country], the threats to disrupt the City [there haven’t been any] and, of course, the intransigent, tone-deaf approach to Northern Ireland [which is down to the behaviour of alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, not the EU]”.

On Northern Ireland, Heath is especially stupid: “Arlene Foster, the DUP chief and First Minister, has joined a long list of senior British politicians destroyed by our entanglement with the EU. Her departure … is in reality due to the chaos wreaked by the Protocol”. Bullshit. She trusted Bozo, and like everyone else who has done that, is now able to repent at leisure, having been conned by someone who cares only about Himself.

The Northern Ireland Protocol was devised by Bozo and Co, cheered and endorsed by the Tories, cheered equally enthusiastically by their pals in our free and fearless press, all despite the warnings of what it would entail. Like anything and everything else to do with Brexit, it is not someone else’s fault. The nasty EU did not make the poor UK do it.

One wonders what Heath’s lame excuse will be when addressing the latest Brexit dividend, the failure of the UK to agree a fishing deal with Norway. As a result, UK boats will not be able to fish in Norway’s sub-Arctic waters, and so will not be able to land any fish caught there. But Norway will be able to benefit from those fisheries, and indeed export that fish tariff-free into the UK. UK Fisheries is not impressed with the outcome.

Their CEO noted the Government failed “even to maintain the rights we have had to fish in Norwegian waters for decades … In consequence, there will be no British-caught Arctic cod sold through chippies for our national dish. It will all be imported from the Norwegians, who will continue to sell their fish products to the UK tariff-free, while we are excluded from these waters. Quite simply, this is a disgrace and a national embarrassment”.

So, as the BBC has reported, “UK Fisheries said it had invested approximately £180m in the last 20 years in the Humberside fishing industry, and had planned to put in a further £100m. The company's giant vessel, the Kirkella, normally catches around 10% of all the fish sold in the UK's chip shops”. Another post-Brexit bungle. Not someone else’s fault.

While Allister Heath cites Elizabeth I, Castlereagh and the Cobden-Chevalier treaty, and talks of war, the reality is that the UK “getting tough” got us nowhere, and will continue to do so. He should get real and own his bad advice. Brexit is still not someone else’s fault.

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Thursday 29 April 2021

Peterborough Anti-Semitism Hypocrisy

We are discovering, sadly, that despite moves to educate and inform, and to penalise instances of hate speech and worse, racism never really went away. That includes anti-Semitism, which has been talked about in recent years in connection with one political party. While Labour has had the mud slung at it, the Tories have thus far escaped with barely a blemish on their record - despite their indulgence in the practice.

Suella Braverman, Priti Patel, Ben Bradley, Jacob Rees Mogg, even Michael Gove - all veered rather too close to the anti-Semitism line, or even crossed it. But the tsunami of condemnation that crashed over Labour under Jeremy Corbyn’s leadership would not do the same to The Blue Team. Now has come a string of anti-Semitism accusations made towards both Labour and Tory in the Cambridgeshire city of Peterborough.

As Jewish News has reported, “Both the Labour and Conservative parties in the city of Peterborough have been rocked by serious allegations of antisemitism amongst members”. So what action is being taken? “Labour have moved to suspend at least 14 individuals, including at least SEVEN councillors, from both the Peterborough and North Cambridgeshire CLPs”. And what about the Tories? Any action there?

The Tories are facing calls to act over allegations made against at least three local members, who are either sitting councillors or candidates … Andrew Percy, chair of the All Party Parliamentary Group on Antisemitism (APPGAA) told Jewish News he had asked for their ‘immediate removal’ from the party”. But were any of the three even suspended?

Well, not as such. “A spokesperson for Peterborough Conservatives added they ‘utterly reject antisemitism.’”. However, “Jewish News has also learned of growing concern amongst communal leaders about the failure of the Conservative Party to act over allegations of antisemitism within local parties across the country … ‘In quite a few cases, investigations into allegations involving Tory Party members appear to drift into a black hole,’ said one senior figure within the community”. That’s most revealing.

It would, at least, show consistency: the “drifting into a black hole” could equally be applied to the Tory response to exposure of Islamophobia among its membership. And what is worse is that some of those who might have been expected to pick up on this issue and pursue the Tories on the subject have so far been absent from the scene.

For instance, there is no sign of the Tories’ inaction on the Twitter feed of the Jewish Chronicle. Equally absent from the scene is the feed of the Campaign Against Antisemitism, although the latter includes a signposting to an article tellingA Conservative candidate in the coming local elections has reportedly expressed remorse over a social media post that included the phrase ‘Jew Boy’”. No condemnation, then.

Anyone could form the impression that allegations of anti-Semitism against Tories “drift into a black hole” because no-one is on the party’s case. I’ll just leave that one there.

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Wednesday 28 April 2021

GB News - Will It Be DOA?

Every week brings a new signing, sometimes more than one: GB News, already re-christened Gammon Broadcasting News (“Bacon’s News Channel”), has been splashing the cash in order to assemble a singularly unappealing roster of generally right-leaning hosts and pundits - one hates to describe them as “talent” - in advance of a launch date which, we are told, is fast approaching. But all may not be well with the new venture.

One problem GB News has yet to overcome is actually launching, which may sound rather like stating the bleeding obvious, but as Press Gazette has noted, “The channel’s launch date has not yet been confirmed … [Andrew] Neil said last year it was aiming for a March 2021 launch but on 18 March the broadcaster said it would be launching ‘later this year’”.

Why should this be? Well, as PG reported in late January, “Andrew Neil’s GB News has launched a recruitment drive for 140 jobs, calling for ‘disruptors and innovators’ who want to help ‘reshape television and digital news’ … Available roles on the 24-hour TV and online news channel … include producers of all levels, video journalists and reporters, technical production journalists, creative journalists and executive assistants”.

She says it ain't worth the candle ...

Maybe that exercise is proceeding not quite as expected? No matter, this was a market so ready to be tapped that the Murdoch mafiosi was readying its own News UK TV channel to compete with GB News. Except, er, it wasn’t: yesterday lunchtime, Jim Waterson at the Guardian brought bad news for devotees of right-leaning news channels.

... so they're sticking with TalkRADIO

Rupert Murdoch's News UK TV channel has lost its boss David Rhodes, and the team will now be folded in under the company's radio division who do talkRadio, etc. Existing team will be making shows for streaming services and do more professional-style broadcasting of talkRadio”. The Guardian’s follow-up article told why this had happened.

Rebekah Brooks, the chief executive of his News UK company, told staff the enormous cost of getting a television news channel on air meant it did not make business sense to push ahead … Brooks’ declaration that it would not be possible to make a healthy profit from traditional television news will increase attention on the finances of the forthcoming Andrew Neil-fronted GB News channel”. Why might that be?

Well, GB News has raised around £60 million. But the operation could burn through around £40 million a year without subscriber revenue - which it won’t get in the UK, unlike Fox News Channel (fair and balanced my arse) gets in the USA, or, indeed, without significant advertiser revenue, the latter being vulnerable to campaigner attack if the new channel veers off to the right and starts trying to shock in order to attract viewers.

Worse still is the sight of GB News alleged Political Correspondent Tom Harwood, formerly replacement teaboy to the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines at the Guido Fawkes blog, being reduced to promoting biscuits this week, then later admitting “Something’s got to tick me over until the launch”. Will it turn into Waiting for Godot TV?

Will Gammon Broadcasting turn out to be the mouse that never roared, a white elephant destined to be DOA? It couldn’t happen to a more deserving bunch of irrelevancies.

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Tuesday 27 April 2021

Nadine Dorries - Not Helping Bozo

Some would by now have decided that the best course of action would be to keep schtum. But not Mid-Bedfordshire’s Tory MP (yes, it’s her again) Nadine Dorries, who has denounced the claims that alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson ranted “Let the bodies pile high in their thousands” in response to demands for another lockdown, only to find that more and more people are prepared to say he really said it.

After the Daily Mail broke news of the now-infamous quote, Ms Dorries went into action. “This is an outright lie. Not one named source or substantiated fact. Days before Hartlepool by election and a wide set of local/PCC/Mayoral elections. It’s mendacious, vexatious co ordinated gossip given in order to negatively influence the outcome”.

And when former Screws and Daily Mirror editor Piers Morgan suggested it was a resigning matter if Bozo did say it, there she was again. “It is an outright lie. As you know Piers, a by-election and major local/mayoral elections happening in days. Not one substantiated fact or named source in that article”. That, it seems, was unwise.

Not much later, ITV News’ political editor Robert Peston said he said it. “I am told he shouted it in his study just after he agreed to the second lockdown”. Two witnesses “have corroborated the Daily Mail's account to me. Also these sources insist they did not brief the Mail, so that suggests there are three sources”. What say Ms Dorries now?

When I called David Cameron a posh boy, everyone knew who made the comment, I owned it with my name on it and I took the knives in my back as a consequence. Man up Robert, name your cowardly (fictitious) source”. Two things here. One, her passing an opinion is a seriously false equivalence. And Two, er, over to the BBC.

Boris Johnson said he would rather see ‘bodies pile high’ than take the country into a third lockdown, sources familiar with the conversations have told the BBC”. Now, both the Beeb and ITV had backed up the Mail’s claim. So it should have been no surprise that, this morning, the Mail has returned to the story. And so has the fragrant Nadine.

‘Fresh sources confirm.’ Who? What are their names? Where is the evidence? This is untrue. It’s unsubstantiated gossip invented 11 days before a byelection in order to influence the outcome”. Be careful what you wish for, Ms Dorries. Remember Peston?

Well, “Two sources who claim Boris Johnson did say he would rather have ‘bodies pile high in their thousands’ than implement a third lockdown are prepared to speak publicly. If the prime minister continues to deny it, they will speak under oath, says [Robert Peston]”. Also, Bozo has done the denial thing in the past, only to then to be proved wrong.

He claimed he wasn’t having an affair with Petronella Wyatt. But he was. And Michael Howard sacked him - for lying about it. He claimed the phone hacking scandal was a Labour put-up job. That wasn’t true either. More recently, he’s made some highly creative claims about Brexit that are steadily unravelling. His word carries very little weight.

And if Nadine Dorries keeps on calling “liar” on others, only to find that they were right, her word won’t carry much weight in future either. I’ll just leave that one there.

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Monday 26 April 2021

Bozo Piles Up The Bodies

If only alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson could have listened to those who counselled caution and restraint: now, his attempt to dump his woes on former chief Downing Street polecat Dominic Cummings have backfired so spectacularly that opposing camps have drawn up their battle lines, and a briefing war has begun.

Whoever's advising Bozo isn't doing very well

Added to this is the shameless opportunism of those not unadjacent to Michael “Oiky” Gove and the Lady Macbeth-like figure of his wife Sarah “Vain” Vine, the sensing of a potential vacancy at the very top of the greasy pole, should Bozo come totally unstuck. Bozo, or someone on his behalf, is still briefing the press. But so is Team Polecat.

So while the Murdoch Times leads with “Cummings still in frame as lockdown leaks ‘rat’ … Whitehall dismisses claim former aide has been cleared”, which sounds rather like a briefing from Team Bozo, the Daily Mail has raised the PM a whole stack of chips with “War Of Downing St … BORIS: LET THE BODIES PILE HIGH IN THIER THOUSANDS … PM’s incendiary remark during fight over lockdowns is latest claim in No 10 drama”.

Take your choice - team Bozo for the Times ...

And that one sounds very much like it was briefed by Team Polecat, especially when you read a little of Simon Walters’ article. “Downing Street last night strongly denied the Prime Minister made the comment, insisting it was ‘just another lie’. But those who say they heard it stand by their claim … It allegedly came after Michael Gove warned Mr Johnson that soldiers would be needed to guard hospitals overrun with Covid victims”.

Oh lookee here, people, it’s Oiky! The Polecat’s old boss, responsible for Cummings' arrival on the scene. Do go on. “He agreed to fresh restrictions but his frustration is said to have boiled over after the crucial meeting at No 10 in October. ‘No more ****ing lockdowns - let the bodies pile high in their thousands!’ he is alleged to have raged. The Prime Minister is also reported to have made similarly blunt observations during the crisis”.

... and Team Polecat for the Mail

On top of all that is the increasingly murky business of how the refurbishment of the flat above 11 Downing Street - the one occupied by Bozo and fiancée Carrie Symonds - was paid for. This could have been cleared up by Liz Truss, another of Bozo’s over-promoted ministers, when she appeared on The Andy Marr Show™ yesterday.

Sadly, this was above her pay grade. Why, Marr asked, did Cummings even mention it? “My understanding is the costs have been covered by the prime minister and everything is being fully declared in line with the rules” responded Ms Truss. Marr saw an opening. “Did a Tory Party donor lend him the money beforehand?” Come on Liz! “As I said, he is covering the costs and it’s been complied with fully”. So that isn’t a No, then.

And don't forget who's waiting in the wings

dd in this from the Mail: “But an ally of Mr Cummings said the PM’s former chief adviser had taken a treasure trove of material with him when he left Downing Street … ‘Dom has stuff on tape,’ the ally said. ‘They are mad to pick a fight with him because he will be able to back up a lot of his claims. He used to tell advisers to record things all the time - discussions with officials. He has also kept a lot of his correspondence.’ … A Whitehall source yesterday said officials did not know the full extent of the material” and it’s bad.

And right before a round of elections, too. Bozo usually has someone to deal with that kind of stuff. But that someone may have been the Polecat. On whom he just declared war.

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Sunday 25 April 2021

Laurence Fox - COVIDIOT Speaks

As restrictions imposed to counter the spread of Covid-19 are gradually relaxed, pupils return to schools, and more of the economy opens up, scientists and politicians look nervously at the figures for infections, hospital admissions and deaths. Those numbers are all showing a reduction, despite some easing taking place almost a fortnight ago.

We are edging ever closer to a return to something resembling The Old Normal. Having come so far since the first wave of restrictions in March last year, what would be the sensible course of action for influencers to take? What would caring, safety-conscious, pragmatic and sensible people have done? What would Nietzsche have done?

For one leading Covidiot, none of this was allowed to enter: yesterday, joining others unable to see the Bleeding Obvious and instead come together in a show of collective stupidity, former minor Thesp, failed Chanteur and DOA politician Laurence Fox was there in central London, at a march where some participants taunted shoppers wearing face coverings, while others compared Covid restrictions to being Jewish in Nazi Germany.

Rachel Clarke, who you can tell as she’s a doctor, was aghast. “Horrified to see this. These anti-mask, anti-lockdown protestors in Hyde Park today are beyond selfish - blatantly risking spreading Covid to vulnerable others. The death toll is over 150k. 1000 NHS staff have died to protect others. And this behaviour is sickening”. What say Lozza?

They protected you. Now you protect them in return. No masks. No rules imposed by the selfish who have damaged our children and elderly so much with their fear of death. We listened to your story for a year. It’s our turn now. Freedom”. Eh? Back to Dr Clarke.

Excuse me? How dare you accuse NHS staff of selfishness? How dare you suggest over 150k people who died from Covid are selfish? You know nothing of the utter horror this virus has inflicted inside our hospitals, yet you preen & brag & posture maskless on Twitter. It’s grotesque”. Come on Lozza, let’s have a bit of the old wit, then!

I wasn’t calling our great NHS staff selfish, I was calling YOU selfish for perpetuating project fear. No one is belittling the damage this virus has done to the UK [says the clown refusing to get himself vaccinated], just questioning the life destroying policy employed to deal with it. Also masks don’t work. Follow the science”. Which he isn’t following.

Samantha Batt-Rawden, who you can also tell as she is also a doctor, had seen enough. “What the hell are you talking about? You do understand that when we said ‘protect the NHS’ we meant stop the NHS becoming overwhelmed so we still had an ICU bed for YOU if you became critically unwell. It was never about protecting us, it was always about protecting the public … We have literally spent the entire last year protecting you at a monumental cost. We have lost colleagues. Buried colleagues. NHS staff have put their lives at risk, for you. And this is how you reward that sacrifice?” Well, quite.

People have been happily mixing in places like Brazil, and especially in India, with catastrophic results. Yet there is Laurence Fox, pretending he knows better. Fortunately, his greatest contribution to politics is likely to be losing to Count Binface.

Laurence Fox is not terminally stupid. But you can see it from there.

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Saturday 24 April 2021

Let Sleeping Polecats Lie

There was clearly an agreement, probably unwritten, between alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson and former Downing Street polecat Dominic Cummings: Bozo wouldn’t sound off about Dom, and in return Dom wouldn’t sound off about Bozo. Thus an uneasy peace was maintained. Until yesterday.

Bozo, or someone on his behalf, had briefed the Murdoch press, and indeed the increasingly desperate and downmarket Telegraph, that Cummings was the one who had been leaking against the PM, thus demonstrating that the Mail on Sunday’sRedthroat” story was, as I said at the time, a complete heap of steaming bullpucky.

The Polecat did not merely claim that he had not been leaking, but that he couldn’t have leaked the texts (between Bozo and James Dyson) because he didn’t have them. Worse still, he told the world that Bozo was lying (no change there, then) and raised the PM by claiming Bozo had toyed with shutting down a leak inquiry as it might have confirmed that the real leaker was Henry Newman - a best pal of Bozo’s fiancée Carrie Symonds.

And yet worse was Cummings’ claim that Bozo may have considered using Tory Party donations to pay for refurbishing the 11 Downing Street flat - which also leads back to Ms Symonds, who, it seems, was so in favour of it being refurbished. So why did Bozo pick the scrap he did not need to pick, and which will now not go away easily?

Sam Coates at Sky News shed some light on that for us yesterday evening. “Boris Johnson [is] ten points ahead of Labour in the polls. He’s likely to do quite well in the May elections. There’s no single crisis at the top of the Government’s agenda. That was before Boris Johnson personally picked up the phone to newspaper editors yesterday to blame Dominic Cummings for leaking against his Government”. There was more.

Clearly the subject of his former advisor niggles away at the Prime Minister, gets under his skin, and Dominic Cummings responded in kind”. Now, Bozo has opened the Polecat version of Pandora’s Boz, and although his personal popularity, and his ability to lie through his teeth as a matter of routine, will initially be unaffected, he’s picked an opponent who is more than prepared to turn this into a long and drawn out war of attrition.

Why did he do it? It looks increasingly as if Bozo is becoming paranoid. What may be making him paranoid is a case of “you may wish to ask that - I couldn’t possibly comment”. And there is one group of people for whom this battle presents its own problems: our free and fearless press. Many right-leaning hacks and pundits are fully invested in The Adoration Of The Boris. But they are also fans of the Polecat. Now they must choose.

Do they back the presently popular, yet flagrantly dishonest, unprincipled and apparently paranoid Bozo, or the not at present popular, flagrantly dishonest and seriously wacko Polecat? Which way will the increasingly alt-right Spectator magazine, where Cummings’ wife Mary Wakefield is a commissioning editor, jump? What about the Telegraph?

Will the Murdoch press try to revive the chances of their man, Michael “Oiky” Gove, securing The Top Job, with or without Sarah “Vain” Vine in tow?

Only one person can defeat Bozo. Himself. And he may just have declared war.

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Friday 23 April 2021

Greta PWNS Bozo - Dead Cat Fails

Once again, our free and fearless press shows that its obscenely overpaid “stars” are good at taking dictation, but terminally useless at investigative journalism. Worse, all the might of the Tory-supporting papers and other media outlets has failed totally to hide the inconvenient fact that alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson was well and truly Pwned yesterday afternoon by an 18-year-old girl.

Bozo The Clown (for it was he) participated in yesterday’s Climate Summit, which for reasons best known to the right-wing press has not been given the coverage it merits, with the Telegraph, Mail and Sun not giving it a front page mention at all. This may not be unconnected to Bozo’s singularly unfortunate choice of bon mots in his address.

Rather than playing it straight, Bozo had to play the clown. And so it came to pass: “It’s vital for all of us to show that this is not all about some expensive, politically correct, green act of … er … of … er … of bunny hugging”. Soil the bed, did he say that to his fellow world leaders? “Er, or, er, however you want to put it, I call it bunny hugging, but you know what I’m driving at, friends and colleagues”. What a complete and utter numpty.

And as if that act of national humiliation were not enough, he was about to be put in his place by someone his press pals have devoted rather a lot of time to rubbishing. It was not long before Greta Thunberg changed her Twitter bio to read “Bunny hugger”. OUCH!

But if attention could be diverted elsewhere, Bozo being Pwned by Greta might be forgotten. And so that too came to pass, as the odious flannelled fool Master Harry Cole, still pretending to be a real journalist and claiming to be political editor of the Murdoch Sun (which means he can’t be both), told his followersHold on to your hats, folks”.

Someone had been taking dictation, the results then splashed across the Sun’s front page. “Exclusive: PM accuses ex-adviser of leaks … BORIS: DOM’S A TEXT MANIAC”. So exclusive it also led the Times front page, and indeed that of the increasingly desperate and downmarket Telegraph. So the presence that last weekend had been dubbed “Redthroat” was now Polecat Dom. But once again, this doesn’t hold water. Not a drop.

Cummings is no longer in Government, so if he really is behind the leaks (doubtful), then security needs more than a little tightening up. Which might be something for the minister in charge at the Cabinet Office to deal with. Who might that be? Ah well: that would be Michael “Oiky” Gove, Cummings’ past champion, who has been conspicuous by his absence for the past few days. Gove is apparently out of the country right now.

If anyone’s leaking, it’s far more likely to be Gove tipping the wink to his press pals than Cummings. Which is why the press has failed once more to distinguish itself by taking dictation and not asking the obvious questions. Or stopping and thinking that Bozo is taking them all for mugs with his dead cat just to save his blushes.

Stop looking at Polecat Dom, press people. And start telling your readers the truth: that our alleged Prime Minister is such an international embarrassment that he just got handed his fat arse by an 18-year-old whose first language is not English.

Greta Pwned Bozo. And the dead cat ain’t making it. I’ll just leave that one there.

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