London’s occasional Mayor Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson has put the press into a silly season tailspin with nothing more than an off-the-cuff remark about his future in politics. “I haven't got any particular seat lined up but I do think in all probability I will try to find somewhere to stand in 2015. It may all go wrong but I think the likelihood is I am going to have to give it a crack” is all he said.
And that was typical Bozza – he might do it, he hasn’t actually thought about it, he has no constituency in mind, and there is the thought that the Tory Party may have leaned on him to stop driving this issue around the houses and make his mind up (the alternative would have been to make a further U-turn and stand again for the London Mayoralty, but he might find that more challenging next time round).
Anyone would think that Bozza’s witterings were a matter of the greatest concern, rather than the ramblings of one of modern British politics’ greatest charlatans. But that thought was not permitted to enter as the right-leaning part of the Fourth Estate went into Silly Season overdrive, typified by the Murdoch Times telling “Enter Boris: now a race against time to find seat”.
Where’s the “race against time”? The General Election is next year, there are a number of safe Tory seats where someone is stepping down, and selection of a replacement not yet complete. No racing is involved. But the Maily Telegraph was in no mood for rational comment, exclaiming “Johnson in line to be business secretary”. Business? I wouldn’t trust the SOB to run the proverbial whelk stall.
There was more adoration of the Bozza, too: “David Cameron said it was ‘great news’ that Boris Johnson had decided to run for Parliament in 2015” was followed by the vomit-inducing “Boris Johnson's road to Conservative leader and 10 Downing Street”. It was little different over at the Daily Mail, where the legendarily foul mouthed Paul Dacre decided that some philanderers and serial liars were OK.
“Tories rush to join his bandwagon as he launches Commons comeback ... He’s already got team plotting leadership bid ... And he didn’t even tell Dave what he was up to” froths the front page splash. Well, Dave just happens to be on hols in Cascais right now, so there may be a reason for that. And all he did was to say he might make his mind up about something.
There was even an adoring Daily Mail Comment piece titled “Return of the blond bombshell of politics”. It was left to the Guardian to sound a moderately cautious note, suggesting that not everyone in the Tory Party welcomes Bozza’s possible return. That his time as Mayor has involved taking credit for lots of stuff Ken Livingstone did, while blowing money on vanity projects, may be the reason.
Boris Johnson is an unprincipled fraud. So perhaps he’ll fit right in with the Tories.