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Thursday 14 July 2016

Lunatic Boris Takes Over Asylum

We did not have to wait long for Theresa May to make a cabinet appointment that went beyond the radical, the controversial even: hardly had the reshuffle process begun than the announcement came that she had not only offered the post of Foreign Secretary to London’s formerly very occasional Mayor Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, but that Bozza had been stupid enough to take her seriously and accept.
An absolute Muppet. And Elmo from Sesame Street

Why this might not be the most subtle or cautious move, at a time when subtlety and caution might come in useful, was clear from the reaction not just in the UK, but across the world, as there was a mixture of disbelief and hilarity at the news that the Diplomatic service, and indeed MI6 and GCHQ, had been entrusted to someone whose only interest is More And Bigger Self-Advancement Opportunities For Himself Personally Now.

Why is Bozza at the FO such a bad thing? You need to ask? Let’s consider a few of the problems with the appointment (that’s as in, a few from a potentially very large sample).

He has no previous ministerial experience. The closest Bozza has been to being a minister came back in 2004 when Michael Howard appointed him as shadow Culture Secretary. He was sacked from the role in the wake of revelations of his affair with Petronella Wyatt, not for the affair, but for lying to his party leader about it.

He is an habitual liar. From the day he was sacked from his first job in journalism - for lying - Bozza has had a problem with his trousers catching alight. His Telegraph columns from Brussels were routinely filled with false statements. His first instinct was to make claims without checking first, as when he claimed the Phone Hacking scandal was something cooked up by the Labour Party. He carried on lying when Mayor of London.

He was a useless Mayor Of London. The litany of failure in his only significant elective office included the vanity projects, the broken promises, the caving-in to interest groups, the appalling housing record, the lousy industrial relations, the lack of vision, and above all the lack of attention to actually doing the job he had been elected to do.

He has spoken warmly … of Bashar al-Assad and Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin. Not exactly the two characters to favour over all others.

He has insulted the current President of the USA, calling Barack Obama a “part Kenyan” who harboured an “ancestral dislike” of Britain.

He has insulted the probable next President of the USA. Bozza described Hillary Clinton, way ahead in the polls going into the convention season, as “like a sadistic nurse in a mental hospital”.

He has insulted the President of Turkey, writing a poem about Recep Tayyip Erdogan having sex with a goat (Bozza has Turkish heritage). That’s Turkey, as in the country we and the rest of Europe needs to keep on-side during the refugee crisis.

He has insulted black people. Bozza’s description of “piccaninnies” with “watermelon smiles” was bad enough, but as editor of the Spectator he also allowed the repulsive Taki Theodoracopulos to claim that black people had lower IQs.

He claimed that colonialism had been A Good Thing, advocating it for Africa, telling that we in Britain had nothing to be ashamed about.

He patronised and insulted the Chinese. Yes, here we are talking about trade deals with countries like China, and Bozza has insulted them as well.

Diplomats and commentators in the USA and Germany have laughed openly at news of Bozza’s appointment.

The only credible reasoning behind his being given his new role is that Theresa May has worked on the basis of “You broke it, you can own it”. There is no other way to justify appointing someone devoid of credibility to one of the great offices of state, someone devoid of diplomatic ability expected to indulge in the nuances of diplomacy.

Expect less than a year of gaffes and toe-curling embarrassment before Bozza realises the game is up - or is caused to realise thus.


Anonymous said...

Well, that "unification" speech lasted less than 24 hours.

Quelle surprise.

Same old, same old tories. Liars, hypocrites and thieves. Perfect companions for New Labour.

Andy McDonald said...

Possibly there because she knows he'll screw it up in the near future, and then she'll have a legitimate reason to sack him. May couldn't banish all the leading Brexiters to the back benches - she had to at least acknowledge them. In doing this she's given perhaps the least dangerous (to her) a big prize, knowing that it'll be more trouble to him than it's worth. A white elephant, a hospital pass of an appointment.

rob said...

It just boggles the imagination that someone is appointed to one of the key posts, especially pending brexit, on the basis that he is likely to screw it up?

Lucky that in the mean time it's only the country interests, not just Londoners, he can screw up isn't it?

Or has it been screwed as much as it can be already that it will make no difference?

Arnold said...

One of these headlines is from the Daily Mash, and the other from the Independent. Hard to tell which is which, isn't it?

"Theresa May 'loses credibility after 90 minutes as Prime Minister' for Boris Johnson appointment"
"May to be safe pair of... oh she’s f**ked up already"

pete c said...

Weird, isn't it.

Choose any country you like - "What. We've got to discuss the future with WHO?"

Almost like Brexit was a big FOff to Europe, now we've gone bigger. FOff world.

Anonymous said...

Has this latest version of musical chairs stopped yet?

Not that tory music ever changes. Last time I listened to it, it was "Gotta pick a pocket or two."

With New Labour it's, "Get by with a little help from my (tory) friends."

rob said...

Could be the shortest honeymoon period for a PM with NaughtieWord back as Health Secretary too? One of the Murdoch Moles continues. Must have a lot of unsavoury information in safekeeping for him to keep his post?

Philip said...

One possible rationale here


Trouble is, Fox is a demi-semi-halfwit and Davis is a prima donna, so it might just be that they're all dead cats together and we'll need to get the fumigators in.

Dave Eyre said...

Apparently she had written F. Off next to his name and this was misinterpreted.

rob said...

@ Dave

Just as well then that they realised it was meant to be Liam and not Seb Fox?

Second thoughts they are both of the same ilk aren't they? Fox hunting back on the agenda then.

SteveB said...

Maybe she is thinking more than a few weeks into the future, there is some logic in Boris' appointment.

1. When he stood down from the leadership campaign he wasn't politically dead, unlike Oiky.

2. Outside of London many traditional shire county Tories still think he's a hero.

3. Whilst Foreign Minister sounds important, he can't actually go introducing legislation in this country. And in the these days of instant communications it's relatively easy for the PM to keep him on a short lead and to repair any damage done.

4. Give him the job, put him under the sort of scrutiny he's not had outside of London.

5. Let him fuck up a few times, show the grass roots what a tosser he is, then sack him - avoiding any outcry from the old ears of Comfyshire.

As for Liam Fox, also quite clever. It's a put up or shut up challenge. He's been saying that Britain can survive Brexit by expanding trade with the rest of the world. Now he's got the power to prove himself right. And if he can't deliver who has he got to blame?