Whatever the reception among many of the UK media for the USA’s newly elected President, the combover crybaby Donald Trump, there will always be one of their number ever ready to sing his praises, tell the world what a great guy he is, and excuse any and every episode of the appalling, bigoted, narcissistic, misinformed, bullying, threatening, intolerant, misogynist and generally stupid outbursts. That individual is Piers Morgan.
The former Daily Mirror editor, who still claims not to have known about any phone hacking that went on at the paper when he occupied the editor’s chair - despite being renowned as a “hands-on” editor, and despite Private Eye magazine not yet receiving word from his lawyers about their naming the Mirror group executive who played Morgan the notorious McCartney-Mills voicemail - remains ever ready to stick up for The Donald.
This defence also extends to taking to Twitter and sticking his bugle into exchanges that may be less than adulatory towards Trump. Thus it was that when my good friend Sunny Hundal said of British singer Rebecca Ferguson “The only UK singer (and big name) who was mooted to play at Trump's inauguration has pulled out”, Morgan was in like a shot to denounce both Hundal and Ms Ferguson. “'Big name' - is that a joke??” he snarked.
This was the cue for an avalanche of ridicule. “Oh Piers try not to be too upset that nobody wants to be seen with your orange friend” chided Richard Lowe. Liam Gascoigne tried to let him down gently with “I think the fact she was the biggest name interested in performing was the point”. After all, Aretha Franklin, Justin Timberlake and Elton John have already made sure that The Donald knows the answer is thanks, but no thanks.
Another helpful soul tried to put Piers Morgan straight, telling him “Who were you expecting? I think Trump's down to UKIP-voting pub Elvis impersonators now isn't he?” Back on the subject of Ms Ferguson, Jade Estebanez mused “let's face it no one wants to sign for him even she pulled out and they dropped her from a crisp commercial”. The real celebs all wanted to play for Barack Obama. Not for Trump.
Why that might be was spelt out to Morgan in the most direct manner by David Rae, who put him straight with “It's the biggest name that the pussy grabber could get”. Making comments like that, and his occasionally breathtaking lack of respect for women, is not working in Trump’s favour. Then Luke Smith confirmed “yeah it is a joke, that she was the only singer he could get that was remotely interested, even managed to mess that up”.
What to do? Paul McManus had a suggestion for Morgan to help him curry yet more favour with The Donald: “why don’t you sing for him?” Well, it would be an excruciatingly bad experience, although it couldn’t be any worse that Lee Marvin singing Wandering Star, in Paint Your Wagon, or indeed Clint Eastwood murdering I Talk To The Trees in the same film. And Morgan would at least be a name some citizens would recognise.
The reality is that Donald Trump is poison for celebs right now. Wake up Piers Morgan.