Mail Online Hires Morgan

While the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines and his rabble at the Guido Fawkes blog go from having alienated just Labour and the Lib Dems to alienating everyone in and around the Commons after the fishing expedition that eventually netted minor Tory minister Brooks Newmark, one of their favourite targets has just shown them how Getting On (tm) in the media is really done.

Modest chap, isn't he? Er, no

Yes, former Daily Mirror editor Piers Morgan – who left that title in disgrace after the paper was suckered into publishing hoax photos allegedly showing British soldiers mistreating Iraqi civilians – has bounced back not just from that setback, but also his departure from the 9pm ET weekday slot at CNN, by securing a new role as Mail Online “editor at large” for the USA.

Morgan was clearly enthused: “I am very excited to take on the role of Editor at Large (US) at MailOnline, which has become the most successful and dynamic platform in the world of news. The site is an addictive pleasure, that offers an extraordinarily wide and diverse range of stories from all around the world. It’s become my first stop for news each morning and multiple times throughout the day”.

So that’s another cue to pass the sick bucket, then. But seriously, there is a lot of sense in the appointment: Mail Online is all about securing More And Bigger Click Counts For The Benefit Of Themselves Personally Now. The notorious “Sidebar of Shame”, going perilously near full female flesh exposure – and under-age subjects – without quite crossing the line, is all about getting more of those clicks.

And if the US operation wants to get more clicks, getting Morgan to pontificate on his pet Stateside hates – which would be Gun Control, Gun Control, and Gun Control, but not necessarily in that order – is an ideal way to garner attention, even if that attention is folks queuing up to bad-mouth him in the comments. One Gun Control piece a week and the traffic will soon build.

Morgan’s other main speciality is that he knows slebs. And this is another way of bringing in the clicks – you only have to look once at the Sidebar of Shame to see the roster of occasionally real, and often wannabe, slebs. Yes, Piers Morgan knows the Kardashians, and thank the Lord that he can tell us all about them, so we don’t suffer the nightmare of meeting them in the, er, flesh.

On top of that, Morgan has amassed a truly sleb-size Twitter following, and, even through many of them have followed him just so they can slag him off about Gun Control (again) and his support for (cough) Arsenal FC, this too brings attention. And for those who ask about his potential involvement in the Dark Arts at the Mirror, well, he can do bugger all about that now – might as well get on and make some money.

That, O Great Guido, is how you do it. Not by just pissing off politicians.