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Friday 19 January 2018

Boris Bridge Has Idiot Backer

The Government is still a shambles. Theresa May has been hosting French President Emmanuel Macron, laying on the welcome, even managing a few words of French, only for him to tell her the bad news - there will be no Brexit deal which includes our financial services sector without membership of the Single Market, adherence to EU laws, and of course being overseen by the European Court of Justice.
That’s not going to please the PM’s rabid Europhobes. So how could attention be diverted from yet another glorious failure? Simples. All that was needed was for London’s formerly very occasional Mayor Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson to assume the role previously allocated to Michael Fallon, and slap a dead cat on the table. This he did.
Iain Martin, master civil engineer. Or maybe not

Bozza’s bonzer idea was to propose a bridge across the Channel. Yes, there won’t be any dosh for the NHS - let alone £350 million - but the clown in the Foreign Office is still able to suggest another ridiculous vanity project. The Boris Bridge was instantly ridiculed, and called out for the obvious diversionary dead cat ploy. But one pundit was impressed.

Murdoch shilling taker Iain Martin was having none of the nay-saying, telling “Much mockery of Boris suggesting Channel bridge. If Macron had suggested it this would be hailed as a stroke of pro-European genius”. Macron would not have been so foolish as to suggest something so pointless. It’s a clear false equivalence.
Charles Arthur broke the bad news. “I really don’t think so. He wouldn’t have suggested it either because it’s barmy”. Cruel. Cruel, but fair. But Martin would not be diverted from his adoration of the Bozza: “really? The Chinese and the Japanese have tried plenty of precarious projects, and succeeded”. And here is the problem with inexpert pundits in one: what comparison has Martin done on those Chinese and Japanese projects? He hasn’t. Are any of them over busy shipping lanes? What about wind and sea conditions?
Worse, when informed of Bozza’s lamentable legacy as London Mayor (vanity cable car, vanity buses, vanity Garden Bridge, vanity island Airport, water cannon and the rest), Martin’s response - “reduced knife crime, successful Olympics” - was misleading and dishonest. Knife crime didn’t fall in Bozza’s first term, with the Olympics being secured by Ken Livingstone and brought to fruition by the likes of Seb Coe.
And as one observer noted, “One little issue with Le Boris Bridge - the towers would need to be much larger than the Petronas Towers (1500ft)  above sea level to allow super tankers to pass. Channel is 700 ft at maximum depth. Queensferry Crossing towers are 600ft tall”. That’s just for starters. It’s a dead cat, nothing more, nothing less.
Yet we have one of the Pundit Establishment, who is regularly invited on by the broadcasters, backing this idea on the basis of zero research and no more than a hunch - plus of course Bozza is right now in hock to the Murdoch press, on pain of them opening the Sun safe and showing the world what they’ve got on him.

Iain Martin shows us what is wrong with our free and fearless press, and its woefully clueless pundits, without anyone having to stop and ask. Well done that man.


Anonymous said...

BOris has succeeded in diverting some atention away from Macron's "you can't have your cake and eat it" staqtements yeaterday & kippers are shielded from the truth of the stupidity!

Anonymous said...

Johnson is another example of public school idiocy: total self assured mediocrity. The man is a dangerous buffoon. We don't want him and Europe won't have him. But needless to say he'd be welcome among US Nazis......Now there's a Johnson Idea - Why not an Atlantic Bridge?.....Oh hang on, that's been tried and failed even as a charity......

"Financial services" likely to leave Britain? I'd pay bus fare for the crooked bastards to travel all the way to North Alaska or Siberia. Where they would hopefully die out as a subspecies aberration of Homo sapiens.

pete c said...

Of course, what has been the obvious choice for two decades for a second channel crossing is a 2nd Tunnel.

Only this time it should come ashore in Belgium and its main purpose would again be rail transport. The Belgians have a more positive attitude to rail freight, so we might just get to have serious levels of UK-China through freight traffic. If that is what people want!

deiseach said...

Think of the contempt we feel for the likes of Sarah Huckabee Sanders and Stephen Miller ("seeming escaped med-school cadaver" - Matt Taibbi) who shamelessly shill for their boss. Then think of someone who does all that for free. I give you Iain Martin.

Unknown said...

So a pro-Brexit campaigner wants to build a bridge connecting us to mainland Europe.

At least the blue passports will not stand out in the sea when they've been thrown overboard, after angry travellers have been queuing in the 21 mile long non-eu passport traffic jam.

Pedant said...

600 years ago, the expression was "You can't eat your cake and have it too". The reversal of the two verbs makes the statement less clear especially when most people leave out the 'too' at the end of it.

Rupert M (The original Croc -o- Dial) said...


As an avid reader of your website, I'd like to put you and your readers out of suspense around my boat accident.

What happened was, we were out on a family gathering and an incident occurred as you know. The US government decided to do some underwater weapons testing and forgot to notify me.

Got to go. I'm off to speak to my good friend, Lucky Larry.

Get Out Stay Out said...

If Toby Young went.
Boris will go. And others.

I'm sure those who are aware of the Tory tosspots who've been at the mercy and behest of the scrot rot media mogul will be glad to see the back of them!

I know I will.

Whether it be because of drugs or spousal abuse. They are not welcome.
I don't see the media on this bandwagon. Nor does anybody need to explain why.

Ferdy Fox said...

Ah! Good old Boris demonstrating yet again that his grasp of engineering is at least as strong as his grasp of reality.
Why can't he just piss off over the pond and help his orange mate to build his wall. Looks like he could use a skilled engineer of vision......

Arnold said...

I'm waiting for one of his supporters to suggest a bascule bridge so that sections can be raised to allow ships to pass.

SteveB said...


surely a draw bridge we can pull up if those foreigners get past Calais security??

Seriously, the ferry timetables have been torn to shreds by the gales this week - who in their right mind would want to drive across a bridge in this weather?

I'm with Pete C, submersed tube (not tunnel, that's so 20th century) to Belgium.

Gonzoland said...

I doubt if Boris Johnson fans have ever come across the word 'bascule' and they are more likely to favour a Roman bridge.

The Slide Guy said...

Surely we could build some sort of travelling bridge like Middlesbrough has/had. Cars could form up on the gondola and be transported across, between the channel traffic.

The cross time could be spent checking passports, sleeping or eating at a rudimentary restaurant. Has the advantage of allowing on-foot passenger.

And to avoid the expense of the tall towers and long support structure, they could have the gondola float, rather than hang below.

We could give a name like, oh, I dunno, Pando Fer Ry.