The Murdoch goons at the Super Soaraway Currant Bun love to score cheap copy. This is often achieved by scouring the Twitter and Facebook musings of Slebs and sports stars, which can then be cobbled up into articles where the hacks pretend they have some kind of inside track on the Slebs’ world. Sometimes the scouring extends to former sports stars, one of their favourites being footballer Paul Gascoigne.
Of course, the Sun’s pursuit of anything Gazza related is not just about social media: despite their CEO Rebekah Brooks once pretending that she was his friend, the inmates of the Baby Shard bunker have recently put a tail on him, leaving bottles of alcohol outside his flat in the hope this will cause him to fall off the wagon and gift them yet more opportunities to flog a few more copies of their piss-poor rag.
But that caused such a backlash that even the twinkle-toed yet domestically combative Ms Brooks had to order her troops to desist. So it was back to trawling social media, and last week brought a particularly fawning example of the genre, headlined “PITCH PERFECT … Healthy-looking Gazza tells fans he’s ‘feeling good’ as he posts beaming photos and jokes with fans on Twitter”. Yes, he stayed on the wagon despite the Murdoch goons’ efforts.
Someone who claims to be his friend
So what had the Sun gleaned from their Twitter trawl? “FOOTBALL hero Paul Gascoigne has loved playing the comedian for fans on Twitter over the last week, telling them he ‘just loves making people laugh’. A healthy-looking Gazza has been busy on social media over the last week, with fans loving his new hobby of cracking gags … After cracking the series of gags in recent days, he told fans that he appreciated their interaction”.
And there was, sadly, more. Rather a lot more. “He said: ‘Thanks for the banter an your tweets and I hope you like me jokes, if ya don’t keep it to yaself, if you do tell everyone hahaha. I just love making people laugh xx’ … Fans have also been delight [sic] to see the former England hero looking in great shape”. All those Tweets recycled for more hits, eh? But one rather more upfront and unsubtle Tweet was missing.
What he really thinks of the Sun
Maybe the subject of that Tweet had put the Sun hacks off. As Rolf might have said, can you guess what it is yet? Yes, it’s about them. “Oh no just had a knock at my door two guys I said yes! They said hi we’re from the sun! I said yeh and I'm from the earth now fuck off”. It’s the way he tells them. It’s a cracker!
But you won’t be seeing anything like that in the Currant Bun. I mean, there’s what the official BBC announcer would have called Very Strong Language From The Start. But what it really shows is what Gazza thinks of arch-hypocrite Rebekah and her merry men. The impression that he’s pals with those Sun hacks who cobble up their crummy stories out of his Twitter feed is utterly false. He hates the bastards. And they know it.
So if you’re really Gazza’s pal, and you want to show him a gesture of support, then there’s only one thing you need to remember. Don’t Buy The Sun.