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Tuesday 30 January 2018

John Simpson PWNS Piers Morgan

The campaign by former Screws and Daily Mirror editor Piers Morgan to bask in the glory of having secured an interview with Combover Crybaby Donald Trump has, sadly, progressed not necessarily to his advantage, especially since that interview was revealed to be lame in the extreme. So The Great Man has been reduced to fighting a rearguard social media action, in which he has also, predictably, come off second best.
John Simpson - posing problems for secretive régimes

This has involved not only fighting off criticism, but going looking for it, as veteran BBC correspondent John Simpson discovered after he Tweeted “The art of the political interview, Piers, is to push your interviewee hard - not let them spout self-evident tosh. That's just showbiz”. He did not tag Morgan in his Tweet. But Piers was out there watching - or perhaps he had a chap to do that sort of thing for him.
Piers Morgan - just posing

And this meant only one thing: the deployment of sneering and arrogant abuse, the social media equivalent of him shouting down an interviewee on Good Morning Britain. “The BBC led on revelations from my interview all Friday morning, and Andrew Marr said yesterday it had made real news. So it would appear you’re the one spouting tosh, you pompous old prune”. No, Simpson didn’t want to look over there.
So Marr told him he ranked as high as any in Rome? Well, maybe not. And Simpson was nothing if not candid, responding gently “Pompous, probably. Old, undeniably. Prune, quite possibly. But I don’t enjoy watching spineless political interviews”. Spineless was, if anything, an understatement. But Morgan could not let that pass unchallenged. So it was on to the next weapon available to him: lying. But aggressively.
You once claimed live on air that the BBC (you!) had liberated Kabul, you egotistical charlatan. So please spare me the journalism lectures”. R-i-i-i-ight. A word in your shell-like, Piers. One, Simpson did not make that claim. And two, your calling “egotistical charlatan” on anyone else is Projection with a very large capital P.
I’ll go further: John Simpson has, in his long and distinguished career in proper journalism, been hunted down by the armed forces of countries hostile to his presence, dodged bullets in Tiananmen Square, been expelled from Iraq, travelled with the Ayatollah Khomeni to report first hand on the Iranian Revolution, and been fired on by a US warplane in an incident where one of his colleagues was killed.
Piers Morgan, on the other hand, forged his way in journalism by outing gay men under such creative titles as “The Poofters Of Pop”. He showed he has no sense of humour by coming over all spiteful after having the piss taken out of him on Have I Got News For You, and putting a tail on Ian Hislop. He still hasn’t given a convincing explanation of why he didn’t know the Mirror was hacking phones. And he’s turned Good Morning Britain into a shout-fest, just to mask his inability to do basic research and debate coherently.
John Simpson has, in just two moderately insouciant Tweets, put The Great Man in his place. The empty fury of Piers Morgan proves it, as does the direct conclusion of Emma Kennedy: “Can you imagine Emily Maitlis endlessly retweeting obsequious praise for an interview she’s done? No. Neither can I" . When you’re in a hole, and all that.


A.Robot (Mrs) said...

'The ice caps were going to melt, they were going to be gone by now but now they’re setting records. Now they’re at a record level.'

Morgan should be congratulated for the fact that Trump felt so comfortable in his company (peas in a pod, really) that he freely gabbled moronic crap like this for posterity.

Look at Morgan's ratings!
Look at Trump's ratings!!
Look at the icebergs' ratings!!!

Anonymous said...


People in glass houses shouldn't throw typo [sic] stones.

Otherwise, carry on.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 11:59
Oooh, look who's out of touch! It's 2018 for God's sake!

Anyway, as you were...

Anonymous said...

He both OWNED him and PWNED him. A twat twattered. Teh interwebz,innit.

Anonymous said...

See, this is where it gets difficult.

I would have said A twat twatted.

Newspeak, Newspeak......all is fucking Newspeak......Whatsit matter if you love your mamma?

J said...

@Anonymous 11:59
Mate, I'm 51 and even I know its pwnd. You old timers need to get with the lingo of us sprightly younguns.

Anonymous said...

@Jonathan Wilson 13:43.

Few things are sadder than middle aged and old men trying to appear "hip".

A bit like that toe curling moment when an elderly uncle tries to "dance" at a wedding before falling drunk on his behind. Or when an ageing dad tries to perform "high fives" and other Yank bullshit with embarassed kids.


iMatt said...

Many journalists have bad interviews. look what happened to Clive Anderson when interviewing the Bee Gees. Or Krishnan Guru Murthy when interviewing Quentin Tarantino or Robert Downey Jr. As professionals, they got over it and moved on.

Moron on the other hand thinks he is God's gift to broadcasting. He thinks his interview with the idiot-in-chief went brilliantly. A large percentage think otherwise. Woe betide anyone pointing this out though.

It was as clear as a squeegeed window that this interview was going to be nothing more than a pre-vetted pat on the back from Moron to someone he calls a pal despite his rampant racism, xenophobia, corruption, misogyny, sexism and blatant lying.

Piers Moron, a face even his mother could slap!

nparker said...

Anonymous 14:27

He was making a lighthearted joke based on one's inability to recognise a modern phrase. There is no need to be so confrontational or rude, to him nor to Tim either. You were wrong, it isn't the end of the world.

Anonymous said...


The original lighthearted joke was made by me. Which you have missed in your rush to be a pissant pedant.* But which I am willing to bet Tim didn't miss or he wouldn't have posted it.

Pomposity thy name is nparker. Don't be so stuffy.

This quite useless exchange is now closed.

*This too is a lighthearted joke, Yank style.

Cockney Cnut said...

Spot on, nparker. a case of the bit(t)er bit?
(But it was probably the southern(?) 'mate' that did for him in bitter's eyes).

nparker said...

Cockney Cnut,

Thanks. Perhaps it is, and perhaps the 'mate' set him off.

In any case, he still seems rather angry and self-righteous for some nebulous reason.

People keep saying I'm 'spot on' in the past few hours, it must be my cheerful demeanour (unlikely...)