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Sunday 28 January 2018

Raheem Kassam - U OK Hun?

Earlier this month, the deeply unpleasant Raheem “call me Ray” Kassam, an appallingly immodest being with much to be modest about, triumphantly took to Twitter to crow “To the leftists trying to take down my Twitter page for calling out anti-white BBC racism ... better luck next time!”. He had more than 100,000 followers. He had the blue tick. He would prevail, and trample all those Rotten Lefties (tm) under his intolerant heels.
Raheem Kassam. No, don't laugh. Well, not too much, anyway

But into each life a little rain must fall, and so it came to pass that Kassam’s overbearing arrogance got the better of him. Twitter decided they could do without the dubious benefit of his outpourings for a week. His account was suspended after he had dispensed one term of gratuitous abuse too many. And peace was upon the land.

But for Kassam and his fellow inmates in the convocation of the irredeemably batshit otherwise known as Breitbart, the matter could not be allowed to rest. Their Dear Leader (tm) had been the victim of a grave injustice, well, in the retelling, he had. This had to be someone else’s fault. And so it came to pass that writer and historian Mike Stuchbery was lined up for a punishment beating. But then it all went horribly wrong.
So, after the batshit Breitbarts had told their remaining readers “Breitbart London editor Raheem Kassam has been suspended from tweeting using his Twitter account for a week following a stream of online abuse aimed at him by hard-left activists”, came a post which toldTwitter ‘historian’ Mike Stuchbery, a minor e-celebrity in the small world of online social justice warriors, is celebrating Breitbart London editor-in-chief Raheem Kassam’s suspension from the microblogging site”. No name is present on the by-line. Which means Kassam is too yellow to put his name to his own handiwork.
The tedious and gratuitously abusive nature of the post means that no more time will be wasted on it here, except for one particularly unpleasant aspect of Kassam’s cowardly attack. As one Tweeter has reflected, “That awkward moment when @BreitbartNews writes an article about @MikeStuchbery_ that is essentially entirely an ableist slur about his mental health”. That’s Kassam’s inadequacy crawling out from under its rock.
Stuchbery, meanwhile, summed up his response to the Breitbart bullshit by simply stating “In short, my goodness. I knew you @BreitbartNews kids were thin-skinned bullies, but this is something else”. It was nothing less than one might expect from Kassam and his wholly false sense of entitlement. And Stuchbery had more bad news for The Great Man.
So while @RaheemKassam is stuck in the Twitter Phantom Zone, I'd just like to clarify it seems like he's only sold something like 2,500 copies of his book, 'No Go Zones', at least on Amazon. Understandable. It's hard to write and stay interesting about things that don't exist”. Very few people care about Kassam and his whoppers No Shock Horror.

While Raheem Kassam and his pals will protest that he ranks as high as any in Rome, and is one of those Clever People Who Talk Loudly In Restaurants, the reality is that he’s a ridiculously over-promoted shit who can’t fart and chew gum at the same time.

Raheem Kassam is having a seven day sulk. And no-one cares. No change there, then.


Anonymous said...

Any self respecting Brit who wears a baseball cap should be arraigned in the Court Of Offensiveness, never mind the Twitter Judge.

And if he or she wears it stupid-back-to-front "style" he or she should automatically get a handful in the Scrubs.

In Kassam's case a keep fit session with Sweet Pants would be mandatory. I bet that'd make his eyes water.

Marc said...

The Venn diagram is available at:


nparker said...

"minor e-celebrity"

Ha! Like Kassam isn't one of these in the world of the alt-right.

The projection must surely end soon?

Jonathan said...

Mr Kassam is desperate as UKIP has imploded and the Kipper King has long drifted into ignominy and no one will employ him not even Theresa May.