Nadine Dorries Bereft On Boris

First the disappointment of London’s formerly very occasional Mayor Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, then the disappointment of his supporters, some of whom have had to indulge in a significant amount of logic gymnastics in order to maintain their credibility, not least Mid Bedfordshire’s MP (yes, it’s her again) Nadine Dorries, who called Young Dave a “posh boy”, only to back his fellow Old Etonian Bozza.

The fragrant Nadine was in the Johnson camp from Day One, simpering after The Blond while laying into any sign of opposition in her own inimitable style - in other words, being extremely unpleasant, and intolerant with it. This made today’s denouement that much more pleasurable, something to savour. We may now savour it properly.

Right from the start, she was in Bozza’s corner, and when Alastair Campbell had the audacity to suggest (rightly) that Johnson was not leadership material, reminded him “Boris led from the front throughout the campaign. He doesn't spin - David Cameron is the Prime Minister”. And look at who’s backing him: “Ex SAS/Europe Minster @DavidDavisMP backing Boris. Would be ideal at renegotiating #Brexit No unelected EU official would get one over him”. He’d have nothing to do with negotiating anything, thanks.

And when she found out Theresa May was standing for the leadership, the claws really came out: “Is this a good time to remind party members that May thinks they are the 'nasty' party?” Yes, that’s Nadine Dorries saying that. And there was more: “While Boris led from the front during the referendum campaign, travelled the country working 14 hrs a day, week after week, where was May?” Also campaigning, in case nobody noticed.

But this morning all was changed, as Michael “Oiky” Gove elbowed Bozza out of the way and declared his candidacy. The Fragrant Nadine knew who was really behind the move: “Wow! Looks like Mrs Gove is standing #Vinewearsthetrousers”. And she knew Gove would not win: “Conservative party members will be very very angry if Boris not on final 2. Treachery of Gove won't be forgiven easily”. Not by her, anyway.

In any case, she knew why her brave Bozza had split from “Oiky” - it was his unimpeachable high principles (no, don’t laugh): “Gove didn't get the big job Mrs Vine wanted for him - Boris doesn't do bribes”. Depends who’s doing the bribing. And she wanted Gove to know she had his number: “Conservative party members have no forgiveness for opportunism and treachery - those days are gone”.

Yeah, “Oiky” had dumped on his pal and that would never be forgiven. Nor would his past assurances: “'I don't want to be PM' who can ever believe a word Gove says again” she bleated, forgetting Bozza has said much the same thing many times in the past. So off she toddled, to see Bozza declare his candidature, Tweeting “Waiting for Boris …” from the event venue, only to be left in tears as The Great Man chickened out at the last minute.

Nadine Dorries followed a false prophet. She can have no complaints that Boris Johnson turned out to have less spine than a piece of battered fish. Cruel, but hilarious.