The manoeuvring for pole position in the race to be the next Tory leader is well and truly under way, despite the country having been needlessly piloted into Shit Creek by someone who has then dispensed with the paddles. So who, among those prepared to put themselves forward to become the Prime Minister charged with triggering Article 50 of the Lisbon Treaty (or maybe not), is likely to emerge victorious?
That's what I bladdy think of youse bladdy Tory Party bladdy democracy, ya bastard Pommie drongoes!
One thing the Tory Party has always been good at is surviving more or less in one piece. It is, after all, the party of the establishment, and the establishment needs no advice or assistance when it comes to looking after itself. That survival instinct has taken hold in the last 48 hours with the realisation that London’s formerly very occasional Mayor Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson wants the job, and has a good chance of getting it.
An utter Muppet. And Elmo from Sesame Street
Bozza, as I’ve told previously, is an ocean going liar of no discernible principle. He was a complete disaster as Mayor of London, something that will become all the more obvious with the passage of time. His serial dishonesty has seen him sacked from two jobs, one of them within the Tory Party. He cannot be trusted with either women or money. He is appallingly thin skinned. In a negotiation with EU leaders he would be eaten alive.
So the Tories who - rightly - do not consider Bozza leadership material have rallied automatically to the standard of Home Secretary Theresa May. Ms May has said some distinctly off-colour things about human rights, but unlike Bozza is able to treat the business of politics seriously. She is a good listener, does not shirk from taking the tough decisions, and has shown herself to be sensitive and pragmatic.
Who is this "we" of whom he speaks?
So that’s it, is it? Just down to Tory MPs and the party membership? Ah, but if only it were that simple. As with so many aspects of our political life, there has to be someone else ready to stick his bugle in. Yes, the new Tory leader has also to pass muster with one Rupert Murdoch. Don Rupioni is not a British citizen, and never has been. He does not have a vote in our elections. But he wants to tell us how to run our country.
And far too many politicians, from Margaret Thatcher on, have been more than willing to indulge him. They wouldn’t entertain that kind of behaviour in Brussels - that’s why Rupe is so opposed to the EU. So who would he favour as Tory leader? Not Ms May. He would rather like Michael “Oiky” Gove to stand, not least because Gove is a Murdoch man through and through. But Gove does not want to stand.
So, as Newsnight’s Ian Katz has discovered, Murdoch’s next preferred candidate is Bozza, and thus the ultimate corruption of our political system. An Australian-born United States citizen, without the vote in this country, is able to lean on a major political party to appoint as leader - and, as it is currently the party of Government, Prime Minister - his preferred candidate, someone who is dangerously unsuited to be let near the seals of office.
That encapsulates the sickness of British politics. An interfering foreigner is looking to install his own puppet Prime Minister. And the Tory Party might just let him do it.