Raheem Kassam - Officially A Shit

Few members of the Press and Pundit Establishment have been promoted as far beyond their pay grades as Raheem “call me Ray” Kassam, once bag-carrier to former UKIP Oberscheissenführer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage, perennial wannabe, mainstay of the convocation of the terminally batshit otherwise known as Breitbart London, attempted shock jock. and ultimate manifestation of the amateur human being.

Derek and Clive were unavailable for comment

Kassam has, it must be conceded, come a long way since he was exposed by this blog as having a largely bogus Twitter following (he was, unlike some of his pals, sensible enough to admit what he’d done), and having his Wikipedia entry wiped because he was not well-known enough. Sadly, though, he still retains his turd-in-swimming-pool popularity level.

Quite apart from his willingness to crap all over anyone and anything to do with Islam, the faith with which he grew up - for instance, Kassam is adept at dispensing abuse towards the Muslim Council of Britain, which he calls a “fifth column” - he is supremely dishonest. When George Soros was targeted by the Europhobic part of the press, he promptly told anyone listening “Black Wednesday resulted in immigrant entrepreneurs like my father going bankrupt. Soros doesn’t care about immigrants. He cares about his pockets. His greedy and treasonous actions impoverished so many people. And we’ll have the last laugh”. His father ran a number of fast food restaurants.

How could Black Wednesday have done that? Sure, it caused a swift depreciation in the value of Sterling, but if anything screwed businesses in the early 90s it was crippling interest rates, which Black Wednesday effectively ended. It was only after that time that the UK economy properly recovered. Kassam is nothing if not creative.

And he does know that the Scary Muslims (tm) are coming to get us all, so to this end has peddled a number of lies including claiming that London was being “colonised”, that a takeaway on Edgware Road was evidence of hatred, then going on to write a book about “No Go Zones”. Except that has also been shown to be another pack of lies.

But can he do anything other than talk well, but lie badly, for money? He certainly can, and to prove it has been taken under the wing of none other than Stephen K Bannon, who really does know how to do without principles altogether. Kassam has spoken at length of how Bannon is The Man, that what Bannon says is right.

So it is perhaps fitting that Steve Bannon has given us the definitive steer on the character of Raheem Kassam. Steve Bannon, the migrant hater who Kassam idolises, has told us exactly what kind of person “Call me Ray” really is. The giveaway line was when he told Michael Lewis of Bloomberg “The real opposition is the media. And the way to deal with them is to flood the zone with shit”. So that’s why he hired Kassam.

It’s because he recognised a complete and utter shit when he saw one. So remember, folks, don’t worry about calling Raheem Kassam, someone who smears for kicks, craps all over his heritage, lies more or less when he draws breath, and will do just about anything to get ahead, a shit. Because that’s now official.