Over in Victoria, one wandering soul has concluded that the election results – despite there being many to declare at the time – mean one thing, that Mil The Younger is in deep trouble. But this is Benedict “famous last words” Brogan, the pundit who failed to notice that Andy Coulson was about to make his departure from Downing Street, so no-one should be surprised.
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After admitting that Thursday’s poll had not exactly been good for Young Dave and his jolly good chaps, Brogan then announced “On the surface, it might look like a good night for Labour – but in fact, the situation is looking bad for Ed Miliband, and likely to get worse”. Yes, the usual Labour suspects, like John Mann and Graham Stringer, have been whingeing. But they are expected to whinge.
The reason that Brogan is whistling in whatever wind blows around the increasingly wayward and downmarket Telegraph nowadays is partly explained by himself: in the one part of the country that is electing councillors in all its boroughs as well as MEPs – that would be London – Labour has had a very good day indeed, its best, it seems, since 1998, the heyday of Tone.
Not only did the party regain control of Harrow after a damaging split had sent them out of power, it took Redbridge for the first time ever. Labour took control in Merton. It consolidated its power in the likes of Lambeth and Hackney. And, on top of all that, it took control of Croydon – the scene of the UKIP carnival shambles – as well as the Tory flagship of Hammersmith and Fulham.
In fact, with some councils still to declare, Labour has already passed its 2010 seat total. As for UKIP, it has scored a measly three wins in the capital, and has suffered the humiliation of seeing all four of the former Labour defectors in Barking and Dagenham thrown out in favour of their Labour replacements. The Kippers scored no seats in Birmingham, Liverpool or Manchester, either.
And, as to the idea that Miliband’s mob can’t win outside the big cities, they now hold all three seats in Chipping Norton. Yes, the one in Oxfordshire, the home of the “Chipping Norton set”, and a part of the Witney parliamentary constituency. That would be the one represented by Young Dave. So if any party leader is down and out today, it ain’t Ed Miliband.
Indeed, Brogan concedes “That the Tories are losing councils in areas they should be winning will give them cause for thought”. But when he asserts “It's significant that so far no Tories have emerged to call for Mr Cameron's head”, he manages not to notice that no Labour politicians have called for Miliband’s. The only ones doing that are Brogan’s fellow pundits.
And, guess what? Nobody who matters gives a flying foxtrot what they think.