Richard Littlejohn likes his readers to think that he’s there with them in today’s Britain, which has allegedly gone to hell in a handcart while he has stood powerless, another spectator to this country’s decline at the hands of the Liberal Elite, Elf’n’Safety, the BBC, Shami Chakrabarti, and anyone to the left of Genghis Khan. He’s the ordinary man in the curry house.
England, Guv? Issa state of mind, innit?!?
Where that? “No one came up to me in Tandoori Nights to inquire ... Karim, who runs my local curry house, Tandoori Nights”. It’s in Cockfosters, just south of the Piccadilly Line terminus. But, although Tandoori Nights is in north-east London suburbia, Dicky Windbag is not. The Daily Mail’s tedious and unfunny churnalist is several thousand miles away in Florida.
Littlejohn spends most of his time in what is surprisingly accurately called a “mini mansion” in Vero Beach, on a quiet cul-de-sac off A1A, on that strip of land between the Intracoastal Waterway and the Atlantic Ocean. Virtual Globetrotting points out the location: you can easily deduce the street name. From its proximity to the ocean, you might think he’d think more about rising sea levels, too.
Birds eye view of the Littlejohn petite maison
What is also clear from the satellite view Chez Littlejohn is that the plot of land immediately to the west has at some time had a house on it, but does not right now. There are two access points on the street: this could easily be utilised for a new dwelling. Or it could be put to more creative use: a library or other place of scholarly pursuit, perhaps, or even a small to medium place of worship.
That would suit Dicky Boy right down to the ground: nothing going off of an evening, and just a few gatherings of some devoted followers of one or other deity. I mean, what problem could there be? Well, if it was one of many Christian denominations, he wouldn’t object. But one religion growing in adherents Stateside right now is Islam, including in Florida. How about it, Dick?
A small Mosque on that vacant plot next door? Littlejohn would love it: after all, he has no problem with followers of The Prophet when they’re serving him curry in Cockfosters, does he? There would be no late-night troughing, no industrial scale lager drinking and the associated by-product of pavement pizzas, no rowdiness, just the quiet of religion being practiced.
Such would be the lack of disruption that getting the necessary building permit would be very straightforward indeed. And then Dicky Windbag would be able to write about Islam from a position of actual knowledge, rather than just making up whatever bigoted crap came into his diseased bonce first. What more exciting benefit could there be for all those devoted Daily Mail readers?
Mosque for Richard Littlejohn! It couldn’t happen to a more tolerant bloke.