For those still undecided as to whether they should venture out to vote in the European Parliament elections, consider the likelihood that Nigel “Thirsty” Farage and his newly formed autocracy otherwise known as the Brexit Party score several successes in the ballot. All those racist bigots, terrorist sympathisers, genocide deniers, spivs, speculators, hangers and floggers. All representing this country at the EP.
Squeaky real world finger up the bum time
Worse, Mr Thirsty is now demanding, modest chap that he is, that if his motley shower of disagreeable individuals tops the EP poll, that they be given a part in negotiating Britain’s exit from the EU, and that the prospect of a No Deal Brexit is there on the table.
I kid you not: as the Evening Standard has told, “The Brexit Party will demand to have places on the EU negotiating team if they come top in this week’s European elections, Nigel Farage has said … Speaking at a packed rally in Kensington, Mr Farage said if his party tops the polls in Thursday’s vote, representatives ‘must join the EU negotiating team’”. His warm-up act was an interesting one, too.
“Before Mr Farage spoke at the Kensington rally, the audience also heard from Brexit Party candidate Anne Widdecombe, and former president of the Czech Republic, Vaclav Klaus … Mr Klaus, who greeted the crowd as his ‘dear Brexit friends’ said the Czech Republic share the ‘same or similar criticisms’ of the EU to the UK”. That explains why the Czech Republic is part of the Schengen zone and isn’t even considering leaving the EU.
And, d’you know what? For once, I agree with Nigel. Yes, I do. If his rabble comes top of the Euro-poll, let’s have some of them involved in the Brexit negotiations. They will, after all, have achieved democratic legitimacy. Those alleged captains of industry, those who have run, or helped to run, FTSE100 companies, those investors in the fabric of our country. Yes, they should have their place at the negotiating table.
There is, though, one condition, an inevitable Quid Pro Quo. And that is the acknowledgement that with the power they have been given comes responsibility. That means if they’re in, they’re in, full stop, no ifs, no buts, no get-out clause, no conditional statement. They cannot pick and choose what part of those negotiations they participate in. Nor can they blame anyone else when it all fouls up.
Brexit Party chickens all ready to go. Or maybe not
That means no doing as Farage has been doing for the past 20 years. No sitting outside the tent pissing in. No sitting there whining that the rotten Westminster politicians aren’t “delivering Brexit”. The Brexit Party contribution to any negotiation has to mean they carry the can when it all goes wrong. They have to resolve the Irish Border issue. They have to deal with the reality of tariffs versus jobs. They have to become real politicians.
So what d’you say, Nige? Here are your team’s places at the Brexit negotiating table. As they’re your representatives, you get the shit when they screw up. You get held to account just like the real political parties. And when the public realise they’ve been had, you have to stand there and take a few more banana and salted caramel milkshakes.
Is it a deal, Nige? Nige? D’you know, he shat himself and ran off. No change there, then.
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Farage: A 21st Century version of Peter the Hermit.
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