The Murdoch goons at the Super Soaraway Currant Bun have today shown that they have their finger on the pulse, a deep knowledge of the issues that affect all those ordinary hardworking Brits whose cause they claim to champion. No, it’s not the cost of housing, energy, food, drink, travel or anything else that is the number one priority for the inmates of the Baby Shard bunker, but the colour of British passports.
British passports. That’s the document you have to take with you whenever you travel abroad. That you show once when leaning the UK, and once when arriving at your destination. And the same number of times when returning. It is not worn around your neck. It is not tattooed on any part of your body. It does not need to be displayed to all and sundry when you are in a foreign country. It does not make you more or less British.
Yet the Murdoch mafiosi has decreed that changing the colour of the British passport will somehow confer greatness on our nation once more. Think about that. The economy could go off the proverbial cliff, Britain could become an even greater laughing stock, we could become a vassal state of the USA (the Murdoch goons would love that one), but as long as we have blue passports, none of that will matter. Thus the idiocy.
So today, readers are told “Sun Victory … BACK AND BLUE … Return of the Great British Passport”. This alleged “exclusive”, under the by-line of the paper’s non-bullying political editor Tom Newton Dunn, sees immigration minister Brandon Lewis, mistakenly believing that sucking up to the Murdoch mafiosi will make him look other than a credulous patsy, telling “within five months [of leaving the EU, British passports] will be dark blue again”.
Well, whoopee-do. That’ll pay yer heating bills, compensate fully for the job that went off to mainland Europe, and fund any number of boozy nights out, eh? But the Sun also has news of what will be in the new passport: “Inside pages will be adorned with patriotic background scenes from all four corners of UK”. Like the current version, then.
Would anyone REALLY want to go back to this?
The idiocy continues. “The new blue passports will also be one of the most secure travel documents anywhere in the world”. The current one already is. “A raft of cutting edge security features and technologies are being built into the design to guard against fraud and forgery”. Like the current design. “They include polycarbonate pages, a double set of photos of the holder so they can be cross referenced, and a biometric microchip”. Either in the current version, or on the way. This is not an exclusive. It’s just lame propaganda.
Newton Dunn even manages to recycle popular Euro-Myths about British passports. “In 2000 the UK had to fight off a plan to remove the Queen's crest from the passport and possibly introduce the 12-star EU logo on its cover”. A Telegraph Fake News story - the giveaway was the claim that the EU Justice Commissioner could make proposals on passport design which would then “Become compulsory”. Not possible.
Another myth was “And in 2007 Brussels tried to make our passports ‘more European’ by removing the phrase ‘Her Britannic Majesty’”. Mail scare story coming out of the Lisbon Treaty: “Mention of the Queen could be removed from British passports … the time-honoured passage could be dropped”. No it couldn’t. And it wasn’t.
Brexit is turning into a farce. And no, Murdoch goons, I don’t want to look over there.