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Friday 22 December 2017

Sun Blue Passport Idiocy

The Murdoch goons at the Super Soaraway Currant Bun have today shown that they have their finger on the pulse, a deep knowledge of the issues that affect all those ordinary hardworking Brits whose cause they claim to champion. No, it’s not the cost of housing, energy, food, drink, travel or anything else that is the number one priority for the inmates of the Baby Shard bunker, but the colour of British passports.
British passports. That’s the document you have to take with you whenever you travel abroad. That you show once when leaning the UK, and once when arriving at your destination. And the same number of times when returning. It is not worn around your neck. It is not tattooed on any part of your body. It does not need to be displayed to all and sundry when you are in a foreign country. It does not make you more or less British.

Yet the Murdoch mafiosi has decreed that changing the colour of the British passport will somehow confer greatness on our nation once more. Think about that. The economy could go off the proverbial cliff, Britain could become an even greater laughing stock, we could become a vassal state of the USA (the Murdoch goons would love that one), but as long as we have blue passports, none of that will matter. Thus the idiocy.

So today, readers are toldSun Victory … BACK AND BLUE … Return of the Great British Passport”. This alleged “exclusive”, under the by-line of the paper’s non-bullying political editor Tom Newton Dunn, sees immigration minister Brandon Lewis, mistakenly believing that sucking up to the Murdoch mafiosi will make him look other than a credulous patsy, telling “within five months [of leaving the EU, British passports] will be dark blue again”.

Well, whoopee-do. That’ll pay yer heating bills, compensate fully for the job that went off to mainland Europe, and fund any number of boozy nights out, eh? But the Sun also has news of what will be in the new passport: “Inside pages will be adorned with patriotic background scenes from all four corners of UK”. Like the current version, then.
Would anyone REALLY want to go back to this?

The idiocy continues. “The new blue passports will also be one of the most secure travel documents anywhere in the world”. The current one already is. “A raft of cutting edge security features and technologies are being built into the design to guard against fraud and forgery”. Like the current design. “They include polycarbonate pages, a double set of photos of the holder so they can be cross referenced, and a biometric microchip”. Either in the current version, or on the way. This is not an exclusive. It’s just lame propaganda.

Newton Dunn even manages to recycle popular Euro-Myths about British passports. “In 2000 the UK had to fight off a plan to remove the Queen's crest from the passport and possibly introduce the 12-star EU logo on its cover”. A Telegraph Fake News story - the giveaway was the claim that the EU Justice Commissioner could make proposals on passport design which would then “Become compulsory”. Not possible.

Another myth was “And in 2007 Brussels tried to make our passports ‘more European’ by removing the phrase ‘Her Britannic Majesty’”. Mail scare story coming out of the Lisbon Treaty: “Mention of the Queen could be removed from British passports … the time-honoured passage could be dropped”. No it couldn’t. And it wasn’t.

Brexit is turning into a farce. And no, Murdoch goons, I don’t want to look over there.


Anonymous said...

Much coverage on the Toady programme.

Ferdy Fox said...

Yes, the colour of my passport really does make a difference when I wave it around in airport lounges and flash it at the security staff.
I've noticed how foreigners immediately adopt a more deferential, nay almost reverential attitude at the mere sight of blue.
And of course red has nasty leftist connotations - we don't want any of that, do we?
Presumably the effin' morons who champion this crap will be only too glad to foot the bill for those of us who don't give a toss.

Good to know all is well in the world and that the colour of my passport is all I have to care about.

SteveB said...

is someone going to point out to them that their photoshopped example isn't the colour of any previous UK passport?

Although it is very similar to the shade used by Mussolinis Italy.....

Andrew King said...

If only the loss of any sense of proportion was the stupidest thing about today's headlines.

Unfortunately, it's not. If you want the real, weapons-grade, stupidity, consider this. Burgundy passports were adopted to comply with a voluntary EU guideline. If an EU state cares that much about the colour of its travel documents they can choose another colour. Croatia has blue passports. A few people pointed this out a long time ago, but you won't see this important fact reported in the S*n or even, shamefully, in the BBC.

If there are people who really care about this, they could have been easily placated without destroying the value of the UK's currency, along with its international reputation and a large chunk of its economy.

Catastrophically stupid is apparently the new normal.

Arnold said...

As Croatia has a blue passport, I'm sure we could have had one too if anyone had given a flying **** before the referendum. Obviously the "EU" has to go, but the design will still have to conform to international standards.

Pavi said...

The 'Toady' programme. I like that it reminds of Dimplebores 'Tory Time'
But I digress. What colour should Murdoch's passport be?
Dog sh*t brown I suggest.

Anonymous said...

Who cares? I mean, really. Who actually CARES? Apart from the New Zealots?

rob said...

Happy Clappy Days are here again
Blue passports on the cards again
What you need without good friends again
Happy Clappy Days are here again

Happy Clappy Days are here again
Holders will be so glad again
With Boris on their side again

Anonymous said...

On the day in which the accordion-breathing script-reading robotic vicarette denies all knowledge of Green's porn antics - despite the rest of the world in full laughter mode about it - the Scum and its morons go with a story about the colour of a piece of cardboard.

This tells us two things:

(a) May is a liar and a coward*
(b) The Scum far right propaganda clerks get more hysterical and stupid each day (as if we didn't know already).

"Strong and stable", yeah, right.

Oh how we larfed.

*To which can be added the title of Worst Dressed And Worst Bling Jeweled Woman On The Planet. Christ, have you SEEN her lately - you would've thought the Scum's gobshite "fashion writers" would've been on that like a rat up a drainpipe.

SteveB said...

another thought, surely blue is THE main EU colour (with some yellow stars), it's only a matter of time before they change. That will be interesting....

And wil someone tell them it isn't a British passport, it says on it United Kingdom and for the benefit of all those patriots who know bugger all about the country it explains what United Kingdom comprises.

Anonymous said...

Nice one, SteveB.

However, one small correction.

This "Kingdom" hasn't been "United" since 1979 thanks to you-know-who.

Apart from that......as you were. Admirable.

Jonathan said...

All this to appease the lunatics on the Tory backbenches especially Rees-Mogg and that dumb tart Mad Nad Dorres writer of 1950's fiction.

Nevermind that the fickwits are doing what Michael Caine did the Italian Job and drive the UK to the precipice of collapse.

Anonymous said...

I don't this goes far enough.

If we really want to be recognised as a grate nation our army should go back to wearing scarlet tunics and the rapid deployment elements should ride horses.

Once these post-Brexit defence reforms are in place, we can start reviving white dogshit.