Simon Danczuk’s Prize Admission

Yesterday evening, in the reassuringly upmarket surroundings of 200 Aldgate, the Contrarian Prize was awarded to Rochdale’s nominally Labour MP Simon Danczuk, who was accompanied for the occasion by his former sidekick Matt Baker, whom he generously described as his “Co-conspirator” in producing the book Smile For The Camera. No mention was made of John Walker, who originally gave Danczuk the idea.

Simon Danczuk and Matt Baker attempt to flog a few more books. This was more important to the MP than the Commons debate on Syria

Danczuk made a number of highly creative assertions during his speech, during which he claimed that his three predecessors as Rochdale MP “ignored” child abuse, something he himself did until Paul Waugh, and Walker, brought his attention to it. He also made accusations against the late Tom Driberg, which some may find interesting.

Driberg was openly gay - Private Eye magazine, for whom he provided the crossword over many years under the pseudonym Tiresias, occasionally called him “Tom Gayberg” - but there were no claims, certainly not in his lifetime, that he had abused children. One has to hope that Danczuk and Baker can back up their allegation.

Danczuk also claimed that he and Baker had been “very careful” about collecting evidence before the former had used Parliamentary privilege. Perhaps he forgot about Northants Police and the clearly spurious claim that Cyril Smith had been pulled over on the M1 with a stash of child porn - a claim they were unable to back up.

Feeding his face also rated high on Danczuk's list of priorities

But it was Danczuk’s attitude to the debate on air strikes against ISIS in Syria which will shock his supporters and detractors alike. After suggesting that he was experiencing a “media backlash” for taking a strong stand on child abuse - rather than being called out for dodgy claims and lack of loyalty to his party leadership - came the food and drink.

The canapés, it was agreed by all present, were rather good. Danczuk indulged himself as if he had not had a square meal for some time. He and Baker also displayed considerable signs of thirst when the wine began to flow: I am told that Baker became noticeably unsteady on his feet, while Danczuk “was glugging it back like a student at a free bar”.

But one thing for which he did not show much of an appetite was returning to the Commons for the debate. Just before 2045 hours, one of those present asked Danczuk if he would be going back to the Commons for the debate, to which he replied that he would not. Why would he take that view? “I’m too busy”.

And another canapé bites the dust

Have a think about that. Simon Danczuk, who was asked by his local constituency party to vote against air strikes on Syria, and who decided very publicly that he would take no notice of them, nor of all those voters in Rochdale who have declared their opposition to the idea, could not be bothered to even attend the debate in Parliament.

Instead, he was using the Contrarian Prize presentation to burnish his ego, fill his face, and get himself tight. Stuff the voters. Stuff the local Labour Party members who opposed bombing Syria. He would just turn up, cast his vote as he had already decided, and stagger back to his nearby flat. Behold the true face of “Rochdale’s MP”.