Daily Mail Promotes Labour

Some papers have still not declared their political allegiance, despite there being only three days before polls open. But we know that the Telegraph, and Murdoch Times, are going to declare for Young Dave and his jolly good chaps, and that, one might expect, would include the Daily Mail. After all, the legendarily foul mouthed Paul Dacre detests Mil The Younger, if only for standing up to his bullying.

Who f***ing says the joke's on me, c***?!? Er, with the greatest of respect, Mr Jay

However, and here we encounter a significantly sized however, this has not prevented the Mail from giving Labour more free publicity than the party could have dreamed of, and, it appears, more than willingly. The reason for this is the appearance yesterday of the party’s “Pledge Stone”, swiftly dubbed the “Ed Stone”, which had its six pledges carved into it. Dacre and his obedient attack doggies were swift to express their derision.

“Miliband's Moses moment is ridiculed on a biblical scale: Internet memes mock Labour leader's grandiose plan for stone commandments monument in No10 garden” declared the headline triumphantly, also letting readers know that the Mail was trawling the Web for cheap copy. But do go on: “Twitter users have posted hundreds of pictures mocking the bizarre move … People have posted pictures of Mr Miliband and the slab”.

The penny isn’t dropping, is it? People are posting pictures and talking about Labour’s priorities, how the Party proposes to address the concerns of voters. Daily Mail Comment, the authentic voice of the Vagina Monologue, did not allow this thought to enter, as readers were told “Even by the standards of a politician who cannot eat a bacon sandwich and falls off the stage during a live election debate, yesterday was beyond satire”.

And there was more: “How else is there to describe the scene of Ed Miliband standing in a field and unveiling an 8ft slab of limestone – chiselled with Labour’s manifesto promises – that he intends to install in the Downing Street garden?” How indeed. Go on: “What is most preposterous is the idea that it will be Red Ed who will decide the direction of the country if, after Thursday’s election, he limps into office propped up by the SNP”.

Ah, the suggestion that part of the UK doesn’t count. But one of Dacre’s retinue of loyal grovellers had his doubts: the odious Quentin Letts (let’s not) mused “Hastings – lucky Hastings – was the venue chosen for Ed Miliband’s descent into lunacy … Or was it satirical brilliance? His latest move was so peculiar, so off the graph in self-parody, doubt nibbles me like minnows a bather’s feet”. The penny was starting to drop.

Indeed, as Carl Dinnen at ITV News told, “My, how everyone laughed when we heard about Labour's Pledge Stone. My, how clever it looks now … The stone was made to be easily parodied … what do punters do when they've looked at all the parodies? They take a quick look at what the original image was. Message delivered, thank you very much”. Paul Dacre has just ordered his staff to give Labour pages of free publicity.

And, what’s best, he doesn’t realise what he’s doing. What a total and utter numpty.