Julia Hartley Dooda’s Piss-Poor Excuse

The photo has gone all around the UK, and indeed round the whole world, and what it showed has disgusted millions: one of the assembled Gammonati at yesterday’s gathering in London relieving himself all over the monument to PC Keith Palmer in Parliament Square. PC Palmer died defending the Parliamentary Estate, confronting a knife-wielding attacker who tried to gain access. But not everyone subscribed to that view.

Indeed, after the Metropolitan Police Twitter feed had signposted a news release telling “A 28-year-old man has been arrested on suspicion of outraging public decency after a man was photographed apparently urinating on the memorial dedicated to PC Keith Palmer”, self promoting TalkRADIO host Julia Hartley Brewer was incandescent. “He urinated BESIDE the plaque. He did not urinate ON it. This is basic stuff”. Eh? Is this serious?

Ms Hartley Dooda was deadly serious, well, in her own way. “FFS, people, stop pretending to be stupid. I’m not DEFENDING this asshole for urinating beside the memorial. I’m telling the Met Police that they need to be accurate. Pissing BESIDE the plaque is awful. Pissing ON it would be even worse. Now get over your fake pearl clutching”.

So it was that, having dug herself into a suitably deep hole, the ridicule flooded in. One Tweeter pointed out “Urinating in public is an offence, unless Julia thinks it ok for anyone to lop out their genitalia in public and then urinate". Hence the “public decency” part.

Another considered the deep scientific analysis that Ms Hartley Dooda must have performed in order to be certain of her conclusion. “The guy looks middle aged which means that a larger prostate makes aiming more difficult, but even with this you can see that no trickle goes over the dead policeman's name on the stone despite a 4mph wind speed pushing the stream in that direction”. How might she have concluded thus?

“Julia calculating the dynamics of the English Defence League thug's urine stream on a whiteboard like Werner Von Braun with the V9 rocket”. John Smith, custodian of Harry Leslie Smith’s legacy, was however unconvinced. “If it's any man I know; it's because they always miss the toilet bowl”. There speaks the voice of experience.

Meanwhile, Ms Hartley Dooda’s excuse generation ran into more direct ridicule, with the Tweeter known as Jim Cognito musing “He wasn’t ‘making monkey gestures’ he was gesturing like a monkey”. More relevant to the TalkRADIO host, and indeed anyone taking the Murdoch shilling, Toby Fair decided “Julia stands BESIDE the racists. She’s careful not to stand WITH them. This is basic grifting”. And why reply to the Met in the first place?

That was what the Tweeter known as Popsicle wanted to know. “There was absolutely no need for you to reply in the first place, saying inflammatory things and then getting your knickers in a twist after people reply outraged is ridiculous behaviour, you knew exactly what you were doing, it’s not like you don’t have form”. Most likely she did know.

All that was left was for another enterprising Tweeter to conclude “That’s a piss poor excuse for his behaviour Julia”. To go with all Ms Hartley Dooda’s other piss poor excuses.

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