Tony Parsons Cut’n’Paste BUSTED

Writers’ block. Some find it difficult to talk about. Others find it difficult to even write about (joke, folks). But it gets to all those who write for a living, sooner or later. In the case of rightward-drifting phonies like Tony Parsons, who declared the Mirror to be his spiritual home until the Murdoch mafiosi offered him More And Bigger Paycheques For Himself Personally Now, it has just hit home with a vengeance.

Parsons, now writing for the Sunday edition of the Super Soaraway Currant Bun, is today doing his new master’s bidding by slagging off the EU, because, look, it’s written, that’s why. “By blaming Brexit for a racist murder, Jean-Claude Juncker has shown his true vicious, snobby nature” he blubbers uncontrollably.

And there’s more: “This kind of Brexit shaming is the last shrill protest of a hysterical minority desperate to cling on to the EU any way they can”. Juncker was nominated and voted in by a majority, and he isn’t “Brexit shaming”, and he’s not hysterical, Tone. Do go on. “BREXIT shaming is the last refuge of the resentful Remainers”. We’re talking about someone other than Juncker? He isn’t part of the referendum campaign.

Never mind, carry on. “Their dark warnings about economic collapse proved to be unfounded”. We didn’t leave yet. “World War Three did not start”. Not a comment by the Remain campaign, but Boris Johnson. Sort it out with him. But there’s more: “All the Little European losers have left is smearing those of us who voted to leave as stupid, racist, gullible bigots”. And who is doing that? We don’t know. Because neither does he.

And on he rambles: “Brexit shaming runs from Brussels to the BBC”. No evidence there either. “As it becomes clear that there will be no second referendum, it becomes more shrill, hysterical and vicious”. Do we get any evidence, or is this just a cut’n’paste list of invented grievances? Here it comes: “Unforgivably, Juncker even blames the horrible murder of Arkadiusz Jozwik in Harlow on the British vote to leave”.

He did? “‘Europe can never accept Polish workers being harassed, beaten up or even murdered in the streets of Essex,’ said Juncker, to rapturous applause in the chamber”. He’s talking about hate crime, not the referendum, stupid. But then Parsons runs out of things to say. Right after “You would never guess that there is a long list of EU nationals who have committed horrible crimes in this country”.

Where might I have heard this argument before? Er, last Thursday, in the same paper, in a column by disgraced former editor Kelvin McFilth. One of the examples cited is the same in both articles. Parsons has so little to say that he’s resorted to copying the argument and even one of his examples from Kel’s last effort.

The difference is that Parsons accuses all those he doesn’t like of being drunk, vicious (standing up in the European Parliament and making a speech is well vicious), and “snobby”. That’s the snob who pretended to be working class, until he got himself some money, so he didn’t have to. He has so little to say that he resorts to “Migrant centres are not being burned in the UK … They are being torched in France and Germany”.

We don’t have any migrant centres, meathead. Tony Parsons has so little to offer his readers, he has to cut’n’paste, as well as lie his socks off. And they pay him for this drivel.