Harry Potter and the Gobshite of Arslikhan
I say "almost" universally, because over at the Northcliffe House bunker, there is one observer of Parliamentary proceedings who can be guaranteed to award any such encounter to the Tories in the retelling. Yes, for Daily Mail readers, It Never Really Happened, as the odious Quentin Letts (let's not) decreed that Corbyn emerging victorious merited no more than a no-score draw.
The headline set the scene: "Corbyn and May clunked shells like two tortoises: QUENTIN LETTS endures a very boring PMQs". Jezza had gone with Grammar Schools, and here he was on solid ground: Labour is against their reintroduction, and so are many Tories. Quent had an answer to that: "grammar schools. How many experts backed them? Ah, experts. You may remember them from the EU referendum campaign, where they got almost everything 100 per cent wrong".
Laugh? I thought I'd never start. And all that Letts is prepared to admit about the PM's less than convincing reply is "Mrs May was oddly evasive", rather than that she was somewhere between mediocre and very poor indeed. Quent effectively admits this as he then goes on to explain away all those pundits who stated the bleeding obvious.
"The Twitterati adjudged Mr Corbyn yesterday's victor, a few even claiming he 'flattened' Mrs May ... I suspect Mr Corbyn was written up by Westminster insiders for two reasons. First, the 'Corbyn os useless' narrative has become stale. Second, the gilded elite shared his view on Grammar Schools. This is not necessarily to Mrs May's disadvantage. The more it becomes apparent that her desire for meritocracy is opposed by the blobbish establishment, the more she may appeal as a change candidate". And to that I call bullshit.
Quentin Letts has no room to talk of the "gilded elite": he is an integral part of it. Grammar Schools have been shown not to produce a truly meritocratic outcome. The idea that all those who have of late passed severely adverse comment on Jeremy Corbyn's leadership would back off just for a change in narrative is as preposterous as it is laughable. The use of "the blob" to smear the education profession was lame when the loathsome Toby Young used it, and worse when Quent tries. And Theresa May as a "change candidate"? Pull the other one.
Letts has previous form with this kind of dishonest reinvention: he infamously pretended that the exchange between London's formerly very occasional Mayor Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson and Mil the Younger on The Andy Marr Show (tm) had been won by Bozza, when anyone who had been watching would have seen a relaxed and confident Miliband reduce Johnson to blustering at Marr about where he went to school.
Jeremy Corbyn won PMQs hands down yesterday. Quentin Letts is plain flat wrong. That is all.
There was a reference to 'Winterval' at yesterday's PMQ, is it me or does the resurrection of the Winterval Myth come earlier and earlier each year?
Wasn't "Winterval" just a Birmingham City Council brainwave to increase footfall and retail spending outside of the Christmas shopping rush?
It doesn't really matter when Jeremy Corbyn did or didn't "win" at PMQs yesterday or at any other time.
The whole session is a total waste of precious time and effort. It has become little more than a Yah Boo Sucks To You tenth rate circus for deluded sell-out gobshites. No wonder Dennis Skinner long ago labelled it the Palace of Varieties. Actually, it's even worse than that.
Times have changed. We live in a digital age with many different sources of information that don't depend on mainstream media or its grubby manufactured cheap spectacles. Old politics are despised by anybody with a mind of his or her own. Hence a government "elected" by less than 25% of registered voters.
Those who don't or won't realise this will be left behind, smelling of musk while reading dog-eared copies of the Daily Heil and the Scum or watching lying garbage like ITN News, BBC News, C4 News and Sky News.
Then the penny will drop. If it doesn't, God help this country.
Queynt's dad didn't have that much faith in grammar school meritocracy and therefore sent his son to a prep school then off to board at an independent school. Or it could have been that he couldn't stand the sight of the odious little twat.
Maybe, the miracle of the winterval ressurection is the real miracle?
Anyway, the Winterval thing was resurrected the other day on twitter, though this time Preston was the supposed birthplace. As usual, when pressed for details, none were provided as it was "common knowledge", then blamed on the mayor which was interesting as a check of wikipedia didn't list any obvious candidates.
It must be difficult being little Quentin, forced to lie through his teeth every time he sends his copy in, just to satisfy the needs of his increasingly psychotic editor. Knowing that every day a sliver more of self-respect falls away. Personal integrity must now seem like a distant memory.
Or maybe the sneery little public schoolboy just doesn't care. Of more pressing concern is that £120k paycheque.
Oh, and is he still despised in theatre land as 'a disgrace'?
Oi, woh-a LARK! Jeremy Corbyn nockin shite outer posh bint Treezer My!
Ameen, jus oo daz she fink she is? Wudn mind but sheez gorra fice like a smacked aarse aznshee? More (eye) bags dan Tesco.
Dah question seshin’s ded gud tho innit? Like dahn the pab, fuller piss an wind!
I ad that John Bercow in the backer me cab once. Didya now eez as big as a gardin nome? Speeks like one n’all. Ad Bozza wirrim so ee didn’t get menny words in.
An don’t get me started on Jeremy bleedin Ant. Eel end up bein treeted in ospital by junior doctors, gav, haha. Cuddin appen terra better ant if yer see warrameen.
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