Another Sunday, another opportunity for Rochdale’s still nominally Labour MP Simon Danczuk to prostrate himself before the salivating ranks of tabloid hacks in order to shamelessly trouser More And Bigger Paycheques For Himself Personally Now. There is no limit to the shame which Spanker Si is prepared to inflict upon himself, and by inference his two ex-wives, four children, and anyone else in the vicinity.
We know this from one look at today’s account of his sordid and sleazy behaviour, as so often splashed across the pages of the Super Soaraway Currant Bun, which has told readers “'I NEED A SHRINK' Sleazy MP Simon Danczuk claims he needs sex addiction counselling after latest sordid scandal … Sexting politician admits he needs 'professional help' in interview with The Sun after spanking session with young girl”.
So what’s new? Danczuk “has now said he wants to see a psychologist to help him stop getting caught up in scandals … The dad of four, who exchanged 6,000 messages with the 22-year-old bookies worker, said: ‘I’ve been immature, kamikaze and irresponsible when it comes to sex’ … And he said: ‘I’m going to see a professional about sex addiction and my problems with relationships’”. Does this sound familiar? It should do.
That’s because Spanker Si has spun this particular sob story before, and so has second wife Karen. The MP last year “admitted he had turned to alcohol after interviewing abuse victims … He said he was struggling to sleep and would often wake up in a bad mood … Parliament, he added, offered a regular ‘MOT’ with a doctor, who referred him to a psychiatrist who had given him ‘permission’ to step back from campaigning”.
And there was more: Kazza appeared on ITV’s Loose Women early this year, with the Telegraph observing “Karen Danczuk has vowed to ‘take complete control’ of the life of her scandal-hit former husband … Mrs Danczuk vowed to stand by him despite their marriage collapsing last year …[she said] He needs help and I'm going to help him. I couldn't look my two boys in the eye and just say 'I'm leaving your dad out to hang’”. Yes, well.
So now the Sun is recycling the same sob story, just so Danczuk can score another payday. This includes letting everyone know “he said he feels crippled with guilt after romping on a sofa at his ex-wife’s home while their young children slept nearby” (that means another quick shag) and the mirth inducing “Danczuk said: ‘I had been so good, going to church, doing meditation’”. And to that I call bullshit.
Also in the bullshit category is Kazza telling that Si “had sex on my lovely corner sofa … It’s only a few weeks old and I can’t sit on it now. I’m going to have to throw it out … If there is one more seedy situation, I’m off”. And who is going to pony up the dosh for a new sofa, and make the repayments on that white Range Rover? As with her ex-husband, this is all about who’s paying, and how they can both score a bit more of it.
Simon Danczuk is now just taking the piss. The Labour Party should hurry up and expel him - then tell him to call a by-election and stand for re-election as an Independent.