After her experiences from life as an intern during the Clinton presidency, and a career in and out of the spotlight, Monica Lewinsky decided to take things easy and join the social media world by signing up to Twitter. After all, the current Prez is on Twitter, Hill is there, and indeed most of the best known people from Washington DC to New York and on to Boston are, too. What could possibly go wrong?
(c) Doc Hackenbush 2014
Ms Lewinsky discovered the answer to that question yesterday morning, as someone with rather more time on their hands than is good for them appointed herself as her Very Best Twitter Friend, whether she wanted it or not. Yes, into action swung (thankfully) former Tory MP Louise Mensch, to let her know that she was there for her, even if she hadn’t asked first.
“You have been shabbily treated, and you are an important voice for women as a survivor of life-changing bullying” declared Ms Mensch, before telling her followers “Great to see Monica Lewinsky on Twitter. Instant follow. Beat them and join us”. Who were “them”, and who indeed was “us”? Ah, but that’s a secret.
Instead, Monica’s new friend went off on a wibble-fest: “Monica Lewinsky is a real-life Hester Prynne. Young person makes bad sexual choice, HOLD THE FRONT PAGE. Stuff that! Welcome Monica [maybe by this point Ms Lewinsky would have stopped and thought] you’ll find for every troll (there are thousands) there are ten Tweeters who admire your bravery. PS ‘mute’ is the best”. Hmm, trolls, much?
She wasn’t finished: “finally, sister, just remember, they can yap about you all they want, nobody’s talking about them. Welcome to Twitter”. And then a stern warning to anyone who dissed her hew bestest pal: “For my part, people’s attitude to Monica Lewinsky is a great barometer of who they are as a human being. Will block any anti-Monica trolls”. And there I was, thinking that was Ms Lewinsky’s choice.
But then Ms Mensch did something eminently sensible: “And we can start with that subhuman pig [Milo Yiannopoulos], I think”. Yes, a stopped clock moment. Then it was back to those stern warnings: “Better not see anybody who called themselves a Christian bullying Monica Lewinsky either. ‘Let he who is without sin cast the first stone’”. Or indeed “she”, Louise, eh?
What Ms Mensch seemed not to notice was that her new bestest friend was not taking a jot of notice. Maybe she had that in mind when she observed “Everyone on Twitter has done something bloody stupid in their lives they’d be embarrassed to see publicised”. Yes, as opposed to doing something bloody stupid on Twitter every day of the week – and sometimes more than once.
Monica Lewinsky is not listening to her. Nor is anyone else who matters. Nor is Fox News Channel (fair and balanced my arse). You’re no longer important, Ms Mensch.
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