While the Daily Mail screams at the Labour Party for supposedly well thought out and publicly spirited reasons – rather than the rarely-mentioned fact that Mil The Younger has supported properly independent press regulation, something that scares Paul Dacre shitless – the latest recruit to the paper’s dubiously talented roster of punditry has exhumed the Mail’s oldest obsession.
No I f***ing haven't got a twitchy right arm, c***
Dominic Lawson, brought in to replace Melanie “not just Barking but halfway to Upminster” Phillips, has been sick-makingly described as a “sparklingly incisive new voice”, but his first effort, a clumsy intervention in the Damian McBride saga, relies on nothing more incisive than to dredge up the paper’s creepy fascination with the Third Reich.
The headline – “It's not one Mad Dog. The tribal Left is driven by hate” – is in accordance with the Mail’s use of projection, to accuse others of the boiling rage and hatred that sweats from every pore of its legendarily foul mouthed editor, but Lawson goes off the rails in line one: “One of the mysteries of history is that no documentary record exists of Adolf Hitler ordering the extermination of the Jews of Europe”.
Wait, what? This is relevant how, exactly? “Hitler’s aides, seeking to gain his approval, would initiate actions which corresponded to what they knew to be his wishes and interests ... Without wishing in any way to imply moral equivalence between mass murder and New Labour’s dirty tricks, I propose the same theory to explain the central question raised by ... Power Trip [the McBride memoir]”.
Maybe this is an isolated incident? You jest: Lawson quotes McBride on the response of Pa Broon to badly received BBC Radio interviews “Gordon would unleash a tremendous volley of abuse — usually a stream of unconnected swear words. I’m convinced he didn’t care that the BBC were still recording at the other end; he actually wanted them to hear” and then, guess what?
Yes, here it comes: “I’m tempted to add that the German Fuhrer was also prone to tantrums that terrified his aides and made them all the more anxious to do whatever it was they thought he must want”. Then he adds something that could have come out of the Python “Nudge Nudge” sketch: “But it would be in the worst possible taste to compare Brown’s character with that of the Nazi dictator”.
“Are you insinuating something?” “Oh no, no, no, no, no, no ... yes”. Get out of here, Lawson – this is truly lame stuff. “Labour under Gordon Brown bad because ... Hitler!” is barrel-scraping of the worst kind, crude, nasty, and utterly wicked. That means he’ll fit right in with Dacre’s retinue of talking heads, and their inability to see their targets as anything more than so much collateral damage.
And he’ll trouser shed loads of dosh in the process, so that’s all right, then.