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Saturday 22 September 2018

May Delusion - Murdoch Lies

Yesterday’s ostensibly defiant speech by Theresa May, which was in reality another futile gesture for domestic consumption only, has had the effect she and her dwindling band of hangers-on wanted - it has fired up our free and fearless press to match her delusion. The front pages are, mostly, exactly as she would have wished. All have noted her defiance. Praise has been lavished upon her. And it is all supremely pointless.
The Sun headline writer need not be a person of taste

But that thought was not allowed to enter at the Baby Shard Bunker, where the Murdoch goons had decided beforehand that there could be no sign of that delusion, or indeed any inkling of the grim reality facing the PM, shown to readers of the Super Soaraway Currant Bun. So it was that the task of maintaining morale among the paper’s rapidly shrinking readership was given to the odious flannelled fool Master Harry Cole.
Smile, though you're copy's churning, smile, though your pants are burning ...

As Zelo Street regulars will recall, Master Cole, formerly tame gofer to the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines at the Guido Fawkes blog, marked his Sun front page debut in no style at all with “COURT JEZTER”, which claimed Labour would lose their allocation of “Short money” unless Jeremy Corbyn joined the Privy Council. This was a pack of lies, so bad that not even press non-regulator IPSO was prepared to excuse it.

So it was that the flannelled fool brought forth what may be his last Sun front page splash - he’s inexplicably been given the deputy political editor’s job at the Mail on Sunday, quite an achievement for someone who couldn’t edit his way out of a paper bag - telling readersMay’s Brexit Fightback … UP EURS! … Furious PM freezes talks with Brussels”.
Some people and their papers have form for lying

Talks have been frozen? When did that happen? But there it is: “RAGING Theresa May froze Brexit talks until the EU makes her a fresh offer … In a ­dramatic retaliation to her Salzburg humiliation, the Prime Minister blasted Brussels for a lack of ‘respect’ and making the ‘fundamental mistake’ of underestimating her resolve to keep her Chequers deal alive”.

There was more. “Mrs May made a rare live address from No10’s state dining room to vow she will not abandon her soft Brexit offer - despite it being shredded by EU leaders in Austria … Instead she insisted the ball was now in their court to make Chequers work or face No Deal … The PM, seething at her Salzburg slapdown the day before, challenged the EU to come up with a counter proposal to her Chequers offer”.
But there was, as Captain Blackadder might have pointed out, only one thing wrong with this idea - it was bollocks. As Jonathan Portes told last night - so before the Sun hit the news stands - “Despite all the noise and newspaper headlines, only substantive point here is that UK *will* shortly make new proposal, with further concessions, on Irish border/backstop, as EU27/Ireland/Commission have long been asking”.
Who to believe, a Professor of Economics at King’s College London, or an odious flannelled fool who has made a career of smearing, bluffing, and lying? Once again, the combination of the Sun and Master Cole means another pack of lies.

The Murdoch mafiosi can’t even do jingoism honestly. Don’t buy the Sun.
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Rivo said...

Theresa May Buys a House, a play in 1 Act:

THERESA MAY, AN ANGRY WOMAN: I would like to buy this house, but I will only pay £1 for it, and I want to use next door's driveway too!


THERESA: The ball is now in your court to make this deal work, else I shall not buy this house, and also I will set fire to my current house. That is how serious I am.

MR BARNIER: *Shrugs*

Unknown said...

Atrios (@Atrios) has just asked a good question on Twitter. Why are they writing these stories? You've done a great job of covering the hilarity of their prose, but what is the motivation?

Ceiliog said...

@ Rivo
In March, the musical version (retitled) 'No Car Men' with full orchestration by Anroid Pu Togevver.
Sing along to great anthemic delights like: -
The Horrid Odour Song (after G Bizet).
# Hope for a spaceship
# Get a smelly barge
# Nigel Farage
# And Tory clowns in charge

Jonathan said...

Only thing that's going to happen is Maybot is going to be yesterday's fish and chip paper.