Corbyn’s A Spy! Corbyn’s A Spy! NO HE ISN’T

After all the accusations thrown at Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn recently, today has brought a lull in proceedings, give or take the odd New Labour has-been scoring a paycheque from the right-leaning part of the Fourth Estate. But somewhere out there in the more reassuringly expensive part of Manhattan, there are moves afoot to change that.

The stuff of nightmares

Yes, (thankfully) former Tory MP Louise Mensch has for some time been telling anyone who will listen that people with no known links to Russia are in fact Russian agents. Occasionally her accusations get close. But most of the time she is so far out there as to be an embarrassment. And now she’s gone full Norma Desmond on Jezza.

Her journey of delusion began when she claimed that Cambridge Analytica whistleblower Chris Wylie was being interviewed by the spooks. She knew what that meant: “if he had gone to the FBI, he’d have been the first to boast about it. All his popinjay smoke and mirrors, all of @peterjukes bullying the BBC to amplify false reporting, will mean zero when Mueller indicts him”. What does Peter Jukes have to do with this?

As if you need to ask. “I asked UKIC for help with @peterJukes before any of this, that is to say the @Chrisinsilico ‘blame everybody but Russia’ op started. I talked over the active measures of 2015, #TimHunt, which Jukes was a key part of, then he was a bff with @IsabelOakeshott”. Had Ms Mensch known any more than Sweet Jack about Jukes, she would know being a Russian asset is not, shall we say, in his feasible zone.

And he’s not a BFF of Ms Oakeshott. Next came Andy Wigmore. And a little braggadocio. “Andy you’ve literally been interviewed by the FBI over this. And so has @Nigel_Farage. And not merely by the FBI, isn’t that right? I’m pretty well read in, my son, you don’t want to go there. I’m not a byline blogger, I have sources linked to UK intelligence. Bear that in mind”. Yeah! And she’s got a white cat on her lap. Anyone smell burning yet?

You thought the white cat reference was wide of the mark? “@RussianEmbassy you have succeeded in arousing my attention. This is not going to go well for you. At all. #AntisemitesForPutin God Save the Queen”. Not so fast, Meester Bond!

Then she claimed another unsuspecting Tweeter was a Russian asset. “I hope this guy is arrested. One thing about America, it’s zero tolerance for collusion with Russia now”.

What had he done? Who knows? And, indeed, who cares? Because now she was closing in on Jezza. “This is the only tweet Corbyn has ever sent containing the word ‘Putin’ He has never condemned him. #CorbynRussia”. No shit, Sherlock. So what’s next?

Next? Oh, only “the whole cell, including, I hope, @georgegalloway, @CraigMurrayOrg, and @jeremycorbyn”. Woah! Not merely tradecraft, folks - a real cell! Except that, as with Jukes, Wylie and the rest, she had no evidence, no-one was listening, her contacts with “UKIC” are non-existant, and someone out there in Manhattan needs to get out more.

Jeremy Corbyn, George Galloway and Craig Murray are not quaking in their boots. It’s more likely to be convulsions of laughter. And remember, they let her become an MP.

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