As the news that Rochdale’s nominally Labour MP Simon Danczuk and wife Karen have separated - well, for now, anyway - sinks in, the recriminations are beginning. And, as the couple have, in their ceaseless quest for self-promotion, egged on the cheaper end of the Fourth Estate so much in recent months, that part of the press has been more than happy to pile in, in search of more cheap copy and clickbait.
More self-promotion by Themselves Personally Now
At this point, Simon Danczuk has made a miraculous discovery: it is his now estranged wife who has direct access to the press, in the form of supplying the Super Soaraway Currant Bun with “exclusives”, as Sun readers are told “I’ve only got my selfie to blame (geddit?!?)”. Yes folks, Ruth Warrender is on hand to tell you all “Karen Danczuk tells how busty snaps led to split from MP Simon”, along with eight, er, busty snaps.
Go on Kazza, give us the spiel, however lame: “I think there was a bit of jealousy. I’ve changed so much mentally and physically. I’ve gone from fat, frumpy Karen to happy, confident and sexy Karen - and I can’t ignore that … It used to be all about Simon. I used to be his plus-one, but it changed dramatically and became more about me. Even at MP events, I became the star. Simon probably just felt a little taken aback”.
Yes, it’s all about meee! Small wonder her now ex was talking about Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Meanwhile, the Mail, not having access to any sort of exclusive, has decided to just make it up anyway. “As the Queen of Selfies ditches her MP hubby, has Karen Danczuk set her sights on her personal trainer?” readers are asked, which means, well, nudge nudge, wink wink, personal trainer, SAY NO MORE.
The Mail is, as usual, stuck sometime in the 1950s: “For some time, it has been obvious that Mr Danczuk has no control whatsoever over his wife”. What do they think wives are, something you buy a remote for? But the article soon regains its prurient streak: “In recent weeks, the 32-year-old has branched out and posted selfies of her bottom and pouty pictures of her mouth”. Just what we don’t need to know, then.
What we also don’t need to know is that Kazza has apparently found God, Tweeting the wisdom of the Pope yesterday evening. Ex-husband, though, is not in a charitable mood today, Tweeting “Using our family breakup to help a 'friend' promote his gym in @TheSun & @MailOnline. Fav if #tacky RT if #classy”. Apart from more of the nudge-nudgery, the current score is seven “classy”, but fifteen “tacky”.
Meanwhile, Danczuk’s former wife Sonia Milewski is getting the popcorn in: “‘It’s quite hilarious,’ she says. ‘Next week there will probably be a picture opportunity in Spain, where they have incredibly fixed their marriage … They’re as bad as each other when it comes to trying to get publicity. It’s probably just an opportunity to get in the paper’”. Yes, the Danczuks wanted the publicity. Now they’ve fallen out, their wish will be fulfilled.
Might not be the publicity they want, but tough shit eh?
3 comments:
Tim, I wonder if you have perchance a photograph of an elderly fat man in a baseball cap fondling a pretty young lady who by age could be taken for his grand daughter?
Thank you in advance.
No, but I suspect the well-known satirical magazine edited by the good and great Mr Emmanuel Strobes may be of assistance in your quest ;-)
Tim, Thank you for your prompt response.
However, perhaps my description was insufficient. The word "sweaty" should have been inserted between "elderly" and "fat."
Since this was my fault I do not expect further response, given your busy life.
;-)
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