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Saturday 27 June 2015

Simon Danczuk And An Offensive Wife

In the Not The Nine O’Clock News sketch where Rowan Atkinson’s Police sergeant carpets an over-zealous Constable Savage, one of the spurious charges that Savage has levelled at Mr Winston Kodogo is that he was “walking around with an offensive wife”. What exactly constitutes “an offensive wife” is left to the viewer’s imagination. If only nominally Labour MP Simon Danczuk could leave his wife to the imagination, too.
Behold the representatives of Themselves Personally Now

Sadly for that larger part of the population who would rather she indulge in rather less of her trademark shameless self-promotion, though, the attempts of Danczuk’s wife Karen to generate More And Bigger Stories For The Benefit Of Herself Personally Now know no bounds, to the extent that she has resorted to effectively trolling George Clooney’s wife Amal in the search for a little of that stardust that she does not merit.

Seeing some clickbait on the Express site suggesting Amal Clooney was rather more slender than was ideal (who is judging this “ideal” we are not told), Ms Danczuk declared “Don't want to sound rude but Id have my curves any day over skin & bone. She needs to come mine for her tea!!”, signing the Tweet with her initials as if that puts her on a par with the US President. So did George and Amal beat a path to her door?
Well, no they didn’t, but as intended, someone - apart from Ms Danczuk’s army of Twitter followers, many of whom give the impression that they follow her in order to leer at her cleavage - rewarded her with some coverage (no, not that kind of coverage, unfortunately). Mail Online’s Sarah Burns obligingly gushedGeorge can come too! Selfie queen Karen Danczuk issues unlikely dinner invitation to Amal Clooney after seeing images of human rights lawyer's slender frame”. And there was more.

'Queen of selfies' Karen Danczuk has responded to images of George Clooney's wife Amal looking slender...by inviting her over for ‘tea' … The 31-year-old wife of Labour MP Simon Danczuk spoke out after the human rights lawyer was photographed on Thursday wearing an ill-fitting khaki-coloured jumpsuit … Taking to her Twitter page, mother-of-three Karen compared 37-year-old Amal's svelte frame to her own voluptuous body”.
Er, no

After correcting her age (she’s 32), and getting the number of children right (two), you can pass the sick bucket, thanks. Voluptuous My Arse. The Mail had already shown why this was a non-story by telling “Human rights lawyer Amal met PM David Cameron earlier this week to campaign for the release of the jailed former president of the Maldives”.

George Clooney is, justifiably, regarded as Hollywood Royalty. His wife is in demand for her legal expertise - and at the highest level, too. Meanwhile, Simon Danczuk sucks up to the right-wing press by writing articles knocking his own party, while his wife feeds her Twitter followers a stream of cleavage-revealing selfies and ponders the merits of the correct glass to use when polishing off a bottle of prosecco.

Walking around with an offensive wife”? That might be the Danczuks, that might.

1 comment:

Outlaw said...

'Danczuk only sneaked in by a couple of votes last time so he is scared... He is desperate for votes... In a last-ditch attempt to keep his seat this year, he did what any sensible politician would do when surrounded by people with loyalty to a country other than the one which pays their benefits. He raised the Pakistani flag outside the town hall. Upside down.'

We mustn't forget that Simon Danczuk has made mistakes outside Rochdale Town Hall before, such as in October 2011 when he was filmed wildly applauding the unveiling of a blue plaque to Cyril Smith. In November 2012 in a speech in the House of Commons, he changed his tune and denounced Cyril as a child abuser.