It Girl Finds That She Isn’t

The Super Soaraway Currant Bun is hidden away behind  paywall, but the paper’s front page splash today has already been lifted by the Mail (see how that works, Rupe?), so we can see the grim detail behind “TARA NICKED BY 8 GUN COPS”. Just when she needed some more free publicity, lo and behold, Tara Palmer-Tomkinson throws a convenient wobbler at Heathrow.

Ms P-T had been en route to the suitably upmarket and fashionable Swiss ski resort of Klosters (well, it wouldn’t have been Kitzbuehel dahling, that would be just too bleedin’ common) when, according to reports, she was “arrested following a temper tantrum because she was allegedly refused first-class lounge access”. Oh, the shame! What is one to tell Charles and Camilla?

And, as the man said, there’s more: “The socialite swore at officers and tore out her hair extensions in fury before she was handcuffed by eight armed police and led away on Saturday afternoon, it was reported last night”. Do we have a witness? “She had completely lost all control and she was screaming at officers. They had no choice but to arrest for her own and everyone else’s safety”.

There was video, too, showing that she “can be seen arguing with a male and female police officer. She then becomes so frustrated that she rips out a chunk of her own hair extensions and flings them at the officers’ feet amid a storm of four-letter abuse. As a third officer moves in, Miss Palmer-Tomkinson – who turns 43 tomorrow – tries to flee, screams ‘f*** off’ and hurls her coat on the floor as they stop her”.

No need to get nosey

What a nice young gel: “Five more officers then arrive and, sobbing and screaming, the former model is restrained and handcuffed”. Then there was the ubiquitous “onlooker” to add “She went ballistic, she screamed ‘I can’t f****** believe you are treating me like this’”. Her excuse? “I was not drunk, there was no disorderly; I was cautioned and I saw a doctor, they were nice to me”.

Ms P-T claims that it was a “panic attack”, although the thought enters that the only “panic” is likely to be that nobody knew who she was. She is, in any case, no stranger to telling porkies, having claimed not to have had a cocaine habit, only for her nose to collapse, requiring reconstructive surgery, which rather suggests that “habit” was a monumental understatement.

Is there a real story here? Well, apart from showing that those who can’t behave themselves passing through airport security are likely to get nicked, no – except for the press fascination with the overmonied and underbrained. Ms P-T’s behaviour is matched in its stupidity only by that hat she is pictured wearing, and the equally silly luggage. Most don’t know who she is, and don’t care.

And few are interested in the sob story either. Another of yesterday’s people.