Guido Fawked – Double-Barrelled Hypocrisy

The Super Soaraway Currant Bun is hidden away behind a paywall, but one helpful Zelo Street regular has kindly made available snapshots of parts of today’s edition (see how that works, Rupe?) so that the increasingly pisspoor content may pass before my inspection. And the conclusion has to be made that one of the Sun’s regulars is standing in a very draughty glasshouse right now.

He's taking the piss out of the double-barrelled ...

The Murdoch empire has given a regular berth for the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines and his rabble at the Guido Fawkes blog to tell readers how wonderfully well-informed they are about goings on in the Westminster village. Sadly, after the copy has been suitably sanitised by the lawyers, there is very little left, other than lame nudge-nudgery and snippets from Hansard.

Today’s effort from The Great Guido is typical: among all the supposed nuggets is an attack on the Green Party for having candidates whose names the Fawkes folks can take the piss out of. One can easily imagine Staines, along with his tame gofer, the odious flannelled fool Henry Cole, and newly anointed teaboy Alex “Billy Liar” Wickham indulging in a haw-haw-hawfest at their expense.

“The Green Party hopes to become ‘the UKIP of the left’ next year – taking votes off [sic] those bonkers enough to believe Ed Miliband is not left-wing enough” observe the Fawkes folks, before asking “Has it been taken over by a load of trustafarian rich kinds though?” Er, hardly, with a relatively grounded leader like Natalie Bennett and representatives like their first MP Caroline Lucas.

So is there any point to this line of attack? Staines and his pals apparently think there is: “Recent candidate selections include double-barrelled comrades Poppy Hebden-Leeder and Talis Kimberley-Fairbourn. Could the Green candidate in Lewisham East be a sign of things to come if the lentil-munchers break through to Westminster? He’s Storm Poorun”.

... which means people like, er, Himself

And, as Jon Stewart might have said, two things here. One, Storm is hardly an unknown Christian Name, as anyone who remembers their Pink Floyd album covers from, oh I dunno, 45 years ago will attest. And two, Staines has no room to snipe at anyone who has a double-barrelled surname, as anyone who has looked in on his personal Twitter feed will know.

The Great Guido likes to style himself Paul Delaire-Staines: yes, he is double-barrelled himself. The main difference between him and the Green Party candidates is that they really are double-barrelled, but Staines has had to concoct his in order to give himself a little cachet. It is, let us not drive this one around the houses for too long, the stuff of sheer and utterly gauche vanity.

And even that won’t stop him being a fat tosser. Another fine mess, once again.