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Sunday 11 August 2019

UKIP - From Meathead To Dick Braine

After being run into the ground by the paranoid bigotry of Adolf von Batten, the former political party still known as UKIP decided to hold a leadership election. In a belated attack of common sense, Batten was barred from standing, although amateur thug Mike Hookem did get his name on to the ballot. And now the Kippers have a new leader.
Richard Braine. Yes, he's really called that

Despite claims that their membership was still at around 29,000, the total number of votes cast in that leadership election was just 5,539, which suggests that either UKIP has come over all apathetic, or that someone was exaggerating. So who has emerged as the new force to restore the Kippers to their rightful place as, er, political laughing stocks?
I em not a racialist but, und zis is a big but ...

The undisputed winner was Richard Braine. That’s right, UKIP is no longer led by a meathead, it’s now led by Dick Braine. And the worse news for anyone thinking that this party is about to regain its credibility any time soon is that Dick Braine will be carrying on with the Muslim bashing, and support for Stephen Yaxley Lennon.
I kid you not: Braine has Retweeted Lennon supporters Politicalite telling their followers “Manchester Arndale Taken Over by Free Tommy protesters”. He has RTd Batten claiming “If a non-Mohammedan cult follower had shouted ‘shame on you’ to a gay pride march they would have been arrested, don’t you think? No point in issuing a description now of course”. Batten was RTing pro-am motormouth bigot Katie Hopkins.
The Islamophobia is just as rank as Batten’s: “Loving comments under [UKIP] press conference. Best so far is ‘Imagine a whole House of Shitlords!’ While the legacy press jerk themselves into a foam over a bad taste non-rape joke, how little interest they show in the cover up of rape gangs trading UK kids. They are part of it”. The “cover-up” claim is what lost one of his former colleagues a libel suit.
But brainy Dick isn’t for learning. He is, though, hot on delusion: “Those who blame Batten for UKIP's underwhelming performance should watch this carefully: Mike Hookem confirming that he, Gerard and Margot saved the party, and that Farage was gone long before Lennon was wrongfully imprisoned”. Double delusion, in fact.
He’s also hot on promoting ignorance. “Instead let's waste £39 billion and a lot more besides on membership of a tyrant empire which is about to collapse because it can't even run a currency, let alone 28 diverse countries. Remainer hypocrisy is now looking very threadbare”. EU collapse not happening, and the EU does not run other countries. But good to see the hysteria over a non-existent “empire” is still going strong.
Don't they teach arithmetic at Ampleforth?” he sneered at LBC host James O’Brien, so they clearly didn’t teach international law wherever Brainy Dick went to school. But he did learn a bit about bigotry, especially the anti-Muslim kind. Hence “Javid was sworn into Parliment on a book which the Clerk of the Commons is not allowed to touch. Even with gloves on the Clerk is unclean. UKIP opposes supremacist extremism”. Except its own.
And just to make sure UKIP remains irrelevant, Dick has told the world “A glimmer of good news: [Gerard Batten] has agreed to be my Deputy Leader if I am elected. It's great to know that I can rely on his wisdom, experience honesty and strength”. Dick Braine by name, Dick Braine by nature. Treble lost deposits all round!
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Anonymous said...

I swear an affirmative oath this is true: Years ago - long before the pejorative became common - I knew an insurance salesman named...wait for it...Richard Head. He was from Hampstead.

rob said...

UKIP being Farage Personal Party MkI has now become irrelevant except perhaps to dilute part of the Leave vote.

The Brexit Farage Personal Party MkII has shown by their response to the Brexit negotiations and callous regard for regions other than England that the "UK" part of their name was misleading.

It was all about Little Englanders wanting more of their slice of the cake and preying upon "fears" on a susceptible public to get their way.