While the BBC was misinterpreting what Angela Merkel said in her discussions with our alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, our free and fearless press was joining in the feast of Brexit delusion as a full participant, and no part of it was participating more eagerly than the Murdoch press, showing that those who are foolish enough to believe anything really will believe anything.
Wake up Tom, you've been conned
The pass was sold in no style at all by the Sun’s non-bullying political editor Tom Newton Dunn, who not only allowed someone in Government to sell him a pup, but went ahead and packaged it up as a story, under the dubious headline “Boris Johnson wants temporary arrangement with Ireland that guarantees no hard border”.
A “temporary arrangement”? Here’s the deal: “The Sun has learned that Mr Johnson is ready to propose a new bilateral deal between London and Dublin to act as a bridge until stand-off border checks - dubbed ‘alternative arrangements’ - are ready … Under the new idea, Ireland would win a special dispensation from Brussels to diverge from EU rules temporarily so it can stay aligned with the UK”. Do go on.
“In turn, the London government would agree a common rule book on goods and standards with Dublin while the temporary arrangement lasts … A senior minister told The Sun: ‘The solution is a bilateral agreement to agree a common rule book for Britain and Ireland for as long we need one … Ireland would also keep all the advantages of its single market membership, if the EU is prepared to be flexible’”. That’s it, is it?
It’s total horseshit. Delusion on stilts. “I say, you Irish cheps, just do as we say for a decade or two, will you?” Someone still believes Ireland can be treated like a colony. But Newton Dunn has swallowed it whole, responding to dismissive comments with “Funny that. No10 didn't deny it when I put it to them last night. Plus, the version put to me wouldn't require Ireland to leave the SM (somehow)”. Somehow. Except it would.
The blowback was fierce and instantaneous. “We'll burn down our parliament before we let our government sell us out to the Brits. There is precedent … Ireland is Europe. Europe is Ireland. We are no longer a colony of the British crown. Our interests diverged from those of the mandarins in Westminster many years ago”. Quite.
As to the supposedly senior minister who Newton Dunn cites in his piece, “Any idea why they were willing to see something so dimwitted out in print and attributed to them? Domestic or party consumption? Did they think they were rattling Ireland? Did they not anticipate gales of laughter from Dublin?”. And there was more.
“Dead cat scenario. There is a whole pile under the desk of ‘kitten killer’ Cummings … Now next time, do be so gullible, and report these stories with loathing and derision. Like a real journalist would do”. And a Tweeter who shrugged “Whatever sells papers, ey Tom?”
As soon as Newton Dunn was fed that line, he should have looked his contact in the eye and told them to Just Fuck Off. And not even paused to say please.
Our media class is now irretrievably detached from reality. I’ll just leave that one there.
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I think I'll leak Johnson's plan B to Newton Dunn. The one about him following Trump's example and offering to buy Ireland. It will be on the S*n's front page tomorrow.
“Funny that. No10 didn't deny it when I put it to them last night."
Too busy rolling on the floor laughing.
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