Cheered on by the right-leaning part of our free and fearless press, alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson has decided that he will not only invent a trade deal with the USA which does not exist, and may not do for many years to come, but that he will enhance its magical qualities by telling Combover Crybaby Donald Trump that the deal (which still does not exist) should be shaped in the UK’s favour.
A total Muppet. And Elmo from Sesame Street
In doing so, Bozo The Clown showed not only that he is supremely clueless on the subject of trade, but also that when it comes to protectionism, the USA is in no position to lecture anyone - something that right-leaning press managed not to tell its readers. Yet.
The response from Trump has, to no surprise at all, been the usual mix of bullshit and braggadocio: “We're going to do a very big trade deal, bigger than we've ever had with the UK”. Big - y’know, BIG. Really big. This will be talked up by the press, and it will guarantee nothing, not while Speaker Pelosi is determined not to let a trade deal pass the House if there is any compromise on the status of the Good Friday Accords.
Donald, where's yer hairspray?
So the Sunday Express claim “UK-US TRADE DEAL IS DONE” is crap. What is worse, and revealing in its own right, is Bozo’s cluelessness on trade. Here’s what he said earlier, as reported by the BBC: “Melton Mowbray pork pies, which are sold in Thailand and in Iceland, are currently unable to enter the US market because of, I don't know, some sort of food and drug administration restriction”. Some sort of restriction. And there was more.
“UK bell peppers cannot get into the US market at all … Wine shipments are heavily restricted. If you want to export wine made in England to the US you have to go through a US distributor … There is a tax on British micro-breweries in the US that doesn't apply to US micro-breweries in the UK … I don't think we sell a single joint of British lamb in the United States, we don't sell any beef”. Any more complaints?
This is a flat-out lie ...
“The government added that tariffs on some UK goods in the US can reach up to 28% for fashion, 15% for machinery and 35% for food and drink”. What was that about the EU being protectionist? But enough: pork pies, British wine and bell peppers aren’t going to be an effective substitute for all those automotive sector jobs likely to be lost with Brexit.
Nor is US agribusiness likely to want to see any more UK produce allowed to rock up on its manor. As the Beeb has also told, “David Henig, the UK director of the European Centre For International Political Economy, said the US ‘would be loathe’ to get rid of the barriers intended to protect US producers. He added: ‘The US is quite protectionist - the US have never done a trade deal the likes of which Mr Johnson is describing’”.
... and this isn't going to happen
The deal being talked up would not be to the UK’s advantage. Forget the Telegraph’s blathering “Boris tells Trump: it’s time to help British firms”. The deal the USA wants is one that lets their producers into our market, not ours into theirs. It is, as their Ambassador to the UK let slip on The Andy Marr Show™, one where the NHS “is on the table”.
Yet Bozo and his press cheerleaders cling to their delusion. It is, after all, necessary for them to do so in order to persuade their readers that all is well, when it is not.
Just because The Donald speaks English doesn’t mean he is our friend.
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