Three months ago, Zelo Street featured
a post on one of its favourite subjects, the loathsome Toby Young (that’s
the Hon Toby Daniel Moorsom Young, folks), who had decided he was open to the
idea of throwing his ego into the ring as the Tories considered who should
represent them in their attempt to unseat sitting Labour MP Andy Slaughter in
Hammersmith.
Tobes had
told Damian Thompson, clueless pundit of no fixed hair appointment, that he
was looking forward to the possibility of subjecting himself to judgment by the
electorate. No doubt they would have enjoyed the opportunity to consider
someone who can happily blow more than £3,000 on a fridge, and who likes to
demonise trades unions, before placing their votes elsewhere.
The conclusion had to be reached that Tobes’ candidacy would
be A Very Good Thing – well, for all the other parties, anyway – and that
Slaughter would love to see him nominated by the Tories. Such a move would
encourage his media pals to turn up and help, and this would turn off yet more
voters. It would be a rout of magnificent proportions. But, sadly, it isn’t
going to happen.
“Why I’m not going to
be an MP” was his
Spectator announcement at the end of
last week. Bugger. Why not, Tobes? He’s, wait for it, too busy. Wait, what?
Well, it’s more original than the hair appointment excuse. Anyhow, tell us
more. “Damn and blast. I was quite keen
on becoming the Conservative candidate for Hammersmith, but the timing isn’t
going to work”.
And, as the man said, there’s more: “My hope was that the local association would delay advertising for a
candidate until next year, at which point I would have thrown my hat into the
ring. Unfortunately, they’re keen to get someone in place straightaway and I
have too much on my plate at present ... That sounds like an excuse, but it
isn’t”. Panto season? Oh yes it is!
But he is modest with it: “I quite fancy playing the John Connor role in this drama — he’s the
saviour of mankind, in case you’ve forgotten — but I just can’t do it at the
moment”. The whole of mankind? Even his pal James “saviour of Western civilisation” Delingpole doesn’t make such grand
claims. But enough of the excuses – this kind of behaviour is Tobes to a T.
He crapped out of the Rally Against Debt – remember that? –
after saying it was an event everyone should attend. Moreover, his charitable
trust “is currently advertising for a CEO
... if we don’t get a strong field of applicants, I may have to apply for the
job myself ... my first responsibility must be to [the pupils]”. More and
bigger paycheques for Himself Personally Now, but think about the children!
And Tobes wonders why anyone should find him loathsome. Got a mirror, have you?
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