Another day, another Little Local Difficulty for UKIP leader Paul Nuttall, as he tries to secure the Stoke-on-Trent Central seat for the Kippers at the expense of Labour. The latest problem for the Bad Bootle Meff is that the Police are now involved in the matter of his nomination papers, which should surprise no-one, given he was not living at the address shown on those papers at the time they were submitted.
And I held the gun like this, aright?
But help was at hand too, as the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines and his rabble at the Guido Fawkes blog went in to bat for Nuttall in an attempt to get everyone to “look over there” - at anything except the clearly fraudulent declaration on those nomination papers, which, if there is any justice in this world, should mean the Kippers are disqualified from the contest, and hopefully subjected to criminal sanction.
He's still in reception
Under the heading “Inside Paul Nuttall’s Stoke Bedroom”, the Fawkes folks tell readers “Michael Crick and Channel 4 are on Paul Nuttall’s case after he moved into the Stoke house on his nomination form yesterday. C4 are ‘unable to confirm if Nuttall has a bed or what he slept on last night’ … Guido can lay this to rest. Nuttall spent the night on a mattress on the floor … The things they do to win by-elections”.
Look who's lying, er, writing about this by-election
And, as Jon Stewart might have said, two things here. One, the problem for Nuttall was not whether he had a mattress in his bedroom the other night, whether he used a sleeping bag, whether he kipped on the sofa, or crashed out on a chair. And two, if the Bad Bootle Meff gets himself disqualified, as he should for furnishing a fraudulent set of nomination papers, he won’t be winning anything except a spell in the slammer.
Moreover, Michael Crick was on hand to refute the lame Fawkes deflection, observing “Paul Nuttall cld move whole family in, & live there for rest of life, but he'd never been there when nominated. So broke law”. And when Nuttall took to Twitter to play the victim, whining “A candidate being attacked for being prepared to move to his constituency must be a first”, Crick was there once more, to put him straight.
Nanoviolin for the Bad Bootle Meff!
“Nobody is attacking you for that. I suggest you spend a quiet evening in your empty house reading the Representation of the People Act”. Quite. And while the Bad Bootle Meff is familiarising himself with the law, and figuring out how he explains to his prospective constituents how he’s going to effectively represent them while still being an MEP for a constituency that does not include Stoke, I have some questions for the Fawkes rabble.
Perhaps Staines’ newly anointed teaboy Alex “Billy Liar” Wickham, who wrote the Nuttall apologia, would care to explain why The Great Guido is suddenly supporting UKIP, and by implication backing a candidate who is under investigation for expense fraud - a subject on which the Fawkes folks have been pretty keen in the recent past. Expense fiddling is bad when Labour and the Lib Dems are accused of it, so why not UKIP as well?
All in all an even more lame slice of drivel than the usual garbage from The Great Guido - but good to see he is now backing the Kippers. Another fine mess, once again.