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Monday, 14 November 2016

Kelvin McFilth’s Long Word Problem

Not content to take out his smearing iron and suggest - without actually making the allegation, just in case he gets taken to the cleaners for lying again - that former footballer and Match Of The Day lead presenter Gary Lineker had someone else managing his Twitter feed, disgraced former Sun editor Kelvin McFilth is at it again today, making another sly dig in the hope that the mud will stick.
Puzzled that Gary Lineker … hasn’t cleared up the suggestion (last Monday’s column) that he may not write his own tweets but pays somebody to do it for him” muses Kel, somehow oblivious to the fact that Lineker has a life, and so has better things to do than to get in the pig-pen with the prize porker from the 13th floor of the Baby Shard bunker. Kel would end up enjoying that, and Lineker would only get dirty.

But on he drones: “His use of the word dystopian first made me suspicious. In his world, Dystopia is more likely to be the name of an Albanian centre-half. There’s no shame in hiring a tweeter but I think it only fair to his five million Twitter followers he should come clean … After all, his fans may look at the tweets in a different way if he/she was a Corbyn supporter for instance and had a political axe to grind. Surely not”.

So Kel’s problem is with a former footballer using a word that is either too long for a former Sun Editor to understand, too complicated or esoteric, or both. The clear suggestion is that being a footballer is a profession for the less intelligent, those of perhaps limited intellectual capacity. But Kel has no room to talk about such things, as a straightforward comparison of the two mens’ academic records clearly shows.

Kelvin McFilth left school with just one “O” Level, despite having had the benefit of a private education. Lineker, on the other hand, attended a state school and, despite his interest in football, left with four “O” Levels. Moreover, he would not have secured his position fronting Match Of The Day without being highly articulate.

No, the one with the long and difficult word problem is Kel, and just to help this preposterous sleazebag comprehend his shortcomings, Zelo Street is more than happy to list a few of those words that Kelvin McFilth finds so difficult to understand.

Journalism. Morality. Accuracy. Truth. Defamation. Falsehood. Misinformation. Hyperbole. Hypocrisy. Bullying. Ignorance. Hatefulness. Stupidity. Racism. Intolerance. Bigotry. Islamophobia. Europhobia. Xenophobia. Sexism. Misogyny. Blagging. Bribery. Monstering. Phone hacking. Smearing. Principles. Hillsborough.

OK, the last one was a Proper Noun, but I suspect anyone reading gets my drift (you could also have had Argies, Frogs, Krauts and many more disobliging characterisations from Sun campaigns past). Kelvin McFilth calling on Gary Lineker from a position of intellectual superiority doesn’t work. Like most of Kel’s collected braincells.

Kel’s problem in understanding others is that Kel doesn’t understand. He’s a thick twat.

9 comments:

pete c said...

Lineker, bless him, appears to be riding all this crap pretty well. Good nature and sense of humour intact.

That must really rile the muppets no end.

Now just need a few more big companies to pull their advertising accounts and maybe, just maybe, the message might get through to even those thick skulls that they don't always get things going their way.

Andy said...

Lineker also speaks fluent Spanish, nearly 30 years after his time with Barcelona. Wonder how many foreign languages Kel speaks?

Jonathan Wilson said...

Was it Lineker who when he went to play abroad (Spain?) learnt the language? I'm sure I very vaguely recall he, or someone of a similar standing, did... which came as quite a shock to the red tops, who obviously felt that anyone working abroad should just shout loudly, and ever more slowly, while gesticulating wildly until the foreners (sic) understand; which obviously was how the likes of McFilth et. al. dealt with "bloody foreners".

Jonathan Wilson said...

I'm not sure if I finished my train of thought before posting... but to conclude... obviously someone who can master a second language obviously has a fairly high level of command of any language... so McFilths sleight kinda falls down in that respect. Also, McFilth is one to talk, or not, as his command of his native language is around the level of a three year old - hyped up on a sugar rush who's just been told off.

Andy McDonald said...

There's a fairly common attitude in the British media that one can only be good at one thing. There's also the general discomfort at anything that defies a stereotype.

Anonymous said...

It's years ago now (and I apologise if I am wrong), but didn't Kelvin McKenzie sue the BBC for awarding him "man of the week" on Week Ending, saying that Kelvin was so thick he thought erudite was a glue?

Whoever it was lost.

Ross

Tim Fenton said...

@6

I think that was the late Derek Jameson.

Did they mean him? They surely did!

Paul said...

Minimal effort of a Google search for Albanian surnames would show Kelvin that "Dystopia" is nothing like one.

rob said...

"No, the one with the long and difficult word problem is Kel"

Not really surprising is it when brought up on a diet of The Sun's coverage? Inverse snobbery at work for someone who is jealous of anyone with greater knowledge than himself.