Don’t Menshn Raheem Kassam

Every so often, one of those Hamilton versus Fayed moments comes round: there is a threatened legal confrontation, with both sides so unappealing that you don’t care which one loses. Out there on the right, one such scrap is now brewing between two equally appalling self-promotion specialists, Raheem “call me Ray” Kassam of the batshit collective that is Breitbart London, and (thankfully) former Tory MP Louise Mensch.

Friends no longer: Raheem Kassam and Louise Mensch

Both of these less than august beings is equally deserving of ritual and expensive humiliation before the courts, thereby generating excellent spectator sport. And it looks rather like Ms Mensch, who is a mere badly-informed gobshite, may hold the advantage over Kassam, who is a venal shit of the lowest order. So what is at issue?

Ms Mensch had been dissing Kassam’s pal Nigel “Thirsty” Farage, telling “Nigel keeps UKIP to MEPs and council seats when it could be a force in Parliament. Look at the Galloway disaster. Even @RaheemKassam left”. Ray wasn’t having that. “You publishing lies kept @SuzanneEvans1 etc out of Parliament. CCHQ told me they wrote your @SunPolitics columns” he hit back. Think that’s wrong, Raheem. Never mind though.

At least it’s not actionable. And all that he had done was to hand the initiative to Ms Mensch: “No, they didn't tell you that. I wrote them all. Glad I gad such an effect though … all my blogs are signed, Raheem. I don't brief. Not even unsuccessfully like you”. Ouch! Would Sir care to offer a comment in his defence?

He certainly would: “No but I've heard you've done a bit of debriefing in your time”. Nudge-nudge, wink-wink, nod’s as good as a wink to a blind bat, eh? Debriefing, eh? Ms Mensch was more than happy to pay him back in kind: “Look Raheem, I can't help that you're single”. Kassam was losing this one, and badly. So out came the smear.

And, being a Breitbart smear, subtlety was completely out of the question: “I'm not. Though I hear you did try it on with Tory boys in your NYC apartment. Then your hubbie walked in... Yes?” Could it get yet more puerile? You betcha, says Sarah: Ray was quite clear that he wouldn’t have anything to do “with a drug addled hag like that”.

Ms Mensch indicated by her comment “Address for service?” that Kassam’s comments were actionable, to which The Great Man hopefully replied “Spurious legal threats? Because I have this stuff sourced. Making baseless legal threats can result in counter suits”. Let me make a few basic observations on this developing dispute.

One, Ms Mensch should know - her UK legal representative, who is known to me, will confirm this - that she does not require a postal address for service. This can be done electronically. Two, Kassam is full of crap, and he’s just bragging in the face of being humiliated by an assertive woman - like his newest hero Donald Trump running off blubbering at the prospect of being questioned by Megyn Kelly.

And three, unless Kassam really does have “this stuff sourced” - which I doubt - he faces further humiliation and potential financial ruin if Ms Mensch comes after him (I can also recommend an experienced QC to her who would be happy to assist, if she’s paying). So he ought to have his grovelling apology ready, and give us all a laugh. Say sorry, Ray.