The Super Soaraway Currant Bun is secreted away behind a paywall, but extracts from yesterday’s print edition have been made available to Zelo Street (see how that works, Rupe?). And they show that the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines and his rabble at the Guido Fawkes blog had nothing worth putting in their increasingly piss-poor column, and so had to resort to making a series of faux “awards” in order to get paid.
Fart in lift Inquiry detects ring of truth
In order to secure More And Bigger Paycheques For Themselves Personally Now, the Fawkes folks dispensed titles including Picture Of The Year, Tweet Of The Year, Loser Of The Year, Brass Neck Of The Year, Diet Of The Year, Stitch-Up Of the Year, Junket Of The Year, Resignation Of The Year and Piggies Of The Year. And, as I’ll be pointing out, they might as well have awarded each and every one of them to themselves.
Picture Of The Year: Staines trying unsuccessfully to focus at the Res Publica IoD bash, due to his being Elephant’s Trunk and Mozart.
Tweet Of The Year: Staines’ tame gofer, the odious flannelled fool Henry Cole, confirming that The Great Guido is in the pocket of Creepy Uncle Rupe.
Loser Of The Year: Master Cole not even getting past security at the IoD after turning up with Staines in a seriously ratarsed state.
Brass Neck Of The Year: Staines and Cole turning up drunk at the IoD and expecting to be welcomed at the Res Publica bash.
Diet Of The Year: the one Staines failed to even begin, hence his ungainly and corpulent state. His pal Cole at least made an effort.
Stitch-Up Of The Year: Staines arranging the awards at his tenth anniversary bash so he could letch at self-publicist Karen Danczuk.
Junket Of The Year: all the freeloading achieved by the Fawkes rabble during 2014. Except for that incident at the IoD which they don’t want to talk about.
Resignation Of The Year: the look on Staines’ face when he knew he was being ejected from the IoD despite protesting that he was a member. You missed the video first time around? Fear not, it’s here again in all its glory.
And Finally … Piggies Of The Year: The Great Guido himself for increasing the number of bellies available to Himself Personally Now.
The Great Guido, worth every bit of ridicule to come his way. Another fine mess.
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