Welcome To Zelo Street!

This is a blog of liberal stance and independent mind

Monday 2 March 2020

Tories Wash Their Hands Of Coronavirus

There may or may not be an increasing threat of the Coronavirus spreading to infect more of the UK. But whatever the threat level, the responsible action for Government to take is to be prepared, engage with those in other countries to ensure the adoption of best practice in tackling any outbreak, and to keep the public properly informed.
Viruses. FARSENDS of 'em!
On all three, the Tories have failed abysmally. For starters, it took until today for alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson to convene a COBRA meeting, as a result of which Bozo The Clown declared that the threat from the virus was likely to become “more significant”. No shit, Sherlock. And then came international cooperation.
On this, Peter Foster of the Telegraph had bad news. “Dept of Health wanted U.K. to pitch to remain part of EU pandemic ‘EWRS’ early warning system after Brexit - but Number Ten said ‘no’ to preserve ‘red lines’”. Steve Peers was unimpressed. “I *very* rarely swear on here. But these people have lost their fucking minds”. Make that deeply unimpressed.
Mike Buckley had more bad news. “The Govt is refusing to allow Matt Hancock to attend the EU Pandemic meeting - which we’re still entitled to, and could choose to remain a member of - because they’re desperate to create distance”. Jason Hunter couldn’t believe it. “Is it true that Downing St have blocked the UK Health Minister from attending a meeting to coordinate a European response to handling of Covid19?” It seems it was.
After asserting “Nothing should matter more to government than the health of its nation”, Naomi Smith added “Downing Street rejected efforts from the department for health to maintain access to the EU’s pandemic warning system … President Ursula von der Leyen will today announce a newly formed coronavirus response team, set up within the EU’s College of Commissioners. The U.K. however, has opted out”. And it then got worse.
On the public information point, the Government is nowhere. So it was left to the likes of Tom Harwood, replacement teaboy to the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines at the Guido Fawkes blog, to tell his fans “Chatting about the Government’s response to Coronavirus on Sky in five mins”. Peter Geoghegan was unimpressed. “If, as looks very possible, the response to a potential pandemic on both sides of the Atlantic is culture war fodder rather than practical solutions then we all deserve what we get. TV guest bookers most of all”.
Steve Peers was once again unhappy. “Cringe-making to see broadcasters booking random folks like Mr Harwood to talk about a health crisis, rather than make the effort to find health experts”. To which one Tweeter added “Looks like Sky have still had enough of experts. Coming up after the break, Brendan O'Neill discusses the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics”. So what of Harwood’s appearance?
It was the usual falsehood and misinformation. “The guy who thought it wise to say coronavirus isn’t a concern because more people die of AIDS, Cancer and road traffic accidents this year. None of which are increasing exponentially”. Ross McCafferty had seen enough, and said so. “We've got a cheek laughing at Fox News”. Quite.

The Tories and their cheerleaders have failed us totally. So remember, folks, to keep washing your hands. Because your Government has already washed its hands of you.
Enjoy your visit to Zelo Street? You can help this truly independent blog carry on talking truth to power, while retaining its sense of humour, by adding to its Just Giving page at

[The Legalballs Fund has now closed]


Arnold said...

Also, traffic accidents don't cause panic buying.

Anonymous said...

Harwood.....fucking hell, does he know he ought to "sing the national anthem" while washing his hands?

Mark said...

Did you hear that toffee nosed twit Rees Mogg say to the press today "wash your hands to the national anthem"? They crowbar arcane aren't we eccentric such larks patriotism into everything. It also serves as a handy dog whistle to his hard brexit, anti-immigration supporters

Citizen of Gammonstan said...

Sources tell me it was Dr. Flu Manchu who created it!

Arnold said...

"Well, I think the most important thing now is that we prepare against a possible very significant expansion of coronavirus in the UK population – that … that’s clearly on the … on the cards. It’s … it’s possible that we will see a big expansion in the number of cases. And I’ll just remind everybody what I’ve said for a while now: this country is very well prepared, we have a fantastic NHS, we have a fantastic ability to conduct large-scale testing."
No need to identify the speaker, is there? I am totally reassured.

Andy McDonald said...

Everything's great or fantastic with Johnson, isn't it? Same with Trump.

Perhaps that's why I'm picturing Big Gay Al from the South Park film:

"Bombs are flying, people are dying
Children are crying, politicians are lying too
Cancer is killing, Texaco's spilling
The whole world's gone to hell, but how are you?

I'M SUPER! Thanks for asking!
All things considered I couldn't be better, I must say!
I'M SUPER! No, nothing bugs me.
Everything is super when you're...don't you think I look good in this hat?"