Welcome To Zelo Street!

This is a blog of liberal stance and independent mind

Friday 20 March 2020

Tim Martin - A Selfish Bastard Speaks

I don’t dislike Wetherspoons pubs. Sometimes it can be useful to know that there’s a place you can get a decent pint of beer and a plateful of scran at a reasonable price. The pubs often showcase beers from local breweries. The kitchen stays open relatively late into the evening. They do half-decent breakfasts and coffee. The problem with Spoons is not the concept, but the appallingly inconsiderate and dislikable SOB who runs them.
Hair today, more tomorrow
That would mean Tim Martin, who pays his workers even less than his hairdresser. Martin is in a unique position: he can demonstrate leadership during the Covid-19 crisis by taking the lead, and closing his pubs as an example to the rest of the industry, combining that with a show of support for the Government’s social distancing recommendations. The problem for all Spoons staff, and regulars, is that he is so selfish that he does not.
Worse, he went on the Radio 4 Today Programme this morning (why, BBC?) to claim that no-one had caught Covid-19 in a pub (no citation) and that his business should be allowed to stay open, thus exposing not only his punters, but also his shittily-paid workers, to the danger of infection. Adrian Heald, who you can tell as he’s a doctor, was unimpressed: “My opinion of Tim Martin was never a high one, but at least now he has shown all of us that he really has not the slightest clue about public safety, I suspected that much from the state of the carpets in his establishment”. Maybe he remembers The Gaffers Row in Crewe.
Roxy Cox was equally unimpressed with Martin’s reasoning. “Tim Martin says ‘there’s no proof of transmission of the virus through pubs.’ Because there’s no testing happening Tim, you absolute donut. ‘Once you close pubs it’s very hard to open them again.’ Presumably he’s very bad with keys?” Donut? That’s putting it mildly, 007.
Pete Brown, who knows a little about pubs and beer, was more direct. “Walked past my local ‘Spoons yesterday - it was rammed and everyone in there looked like they were over sixty. Then today just read that ‘Spoons staff are NOT ALLOWED to wear gloves, masks or any other kind of protection. Tim Martin is a cunt”. Derek and Clive would have approved.
Vincent McAviney was not happy with Martin’s lack of knowledge: “Wetherspoons boss Tim Martin not getting it on [Radio 4 Today] - the reason Singapore and South Korea are able to keep their economies more open is that they are testing far and above what the UK is. That stops the spread”. His conclusion? “Time to call last orders”.
And the Tweeter known as Brexitshambles noted Martin’s claim to his staff “UK is right to keep pubs open, following the Dutch position” and pointed out “Tim Martin lying to his employees - On 15th March all pubs, restaurants, bars, cafes, nightclubs etc. were closed in the Netherlands”. So he’s not just a complete shit, he’s a complete lying shit.
Femi Oluwole was, in his own way, direct on Martin’s behaviour. “Tim Martin is just trying to support local pubs... And funeral homes”. Chris Shaw concluded “He should be certified”. And Guy Walters added “Tim Martin announces he is installing an Ant Middleton as a bouncer in every Wetherspoons to bar entry to the Coronavirus”.

Tim Martin is a disgrace to the hospitality industry. But you knew that already.
Enjoy your visit to Zelo Street? You can help this truly independent blog carry on talking truth to power, while retaining its sense of humour, by adding to its Just Giving page at


[The Legalballs Fund has now closed]


Anonymous said...

And I bet the twat will be first in the queue to get his hands on the taxpayer funded rescue package

grim northerner said...

His dives are pretty much the only game in town now, a grim and depressing indictment of modern britain.

AndyC said...

Companies that will be receiving massive amounts of State assistance must be forced to stop the often obscene amounts of remuneration paid to their CEOs and very senior people executives.

Anonymous said...

Seems he believes the "free market" in the coronavirus doesn't provide it for everybody.

Tsk tsk. Off message there.

Richard said...

Nihal Arthanayake has just editorialised on 5Live and said not to listen to him. He didn't refer to him by name, just as the "person who runs that chain of pubs".

I love the fact that when Sky were looking for a backdrop in Crewe for their dystopian nightmare car racing thing starring Sean Bean they chose the corner of Victoria St/Charles St outside the derelict 'Spoons.

Anonymous said...

Anybody who drinks in a Spoons gets what they deserve.