Nothing shows the yawning chasm between the vicious, unprincipled, unlawful and unwanted machinations of some within our free and fearless press, and the obsequious, coy, servile and sick-making way in which they cover anything and everything concerning the private life of alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson.
The latter extends by default to Bozo’s fiancée Carrie Symonds: anyone in the press pack with brain plugged in and a hole in their backside has known for weeks that she was pregnant, but as it had not yet been decreed that the news should be released, it was not - not until the requirement for the largest and deadest of dead cats reared its head.
Not for Bozo and Carrie the illegal gathering of information: their lives will remain excellent, undisturbed by phone hacking, email hacking, blagging of health records, phone bills and bank details, bin rifling, close surveillance, doorstepping, bribery, entrapment, or even the occasional intrusion of camera-equipped drones or long-lens photography.
There will be no visitors carrying hidden cameras, no bugging operations. Unlike all those victims of press misbehaviour, the happy couple will be left well alone, thus allowing Bozo the impression that his press pals have turned over a new leaf. The attack dogs will become mere poodles. So it has proved with the reporting of Ms Symonds’ baby bump.
OK reptiles, you can report it now
She must be the only moderately well-known individual left alone by the press to announce that happy event in her own time - and then have it dutifully reported. So it was that no-one reported anything until 1015 hours today, when the UK Prime Minister Twitter feed announced “Tomorrow it’s #InternationalWomensDay. We celebrated earlier this week by hosting a reception at Downing Street”, along with baby bump photos of Ms Symonds.
The starting gun had now been fired. Miraculously, the press leapt to it as one, with the Mail telling readers “Boris Johnson's fiancée Carrie Symonds shows off her baby bump and engagement ring as she is seen for the first time since announcing she is pregnant” six minutes later. And “first time” my arse. They all knew. They said nothing.
That's nice, but can we have a side view of the bump?
Also grovelling to order early doors was the Evening Standard: “In photos shared on Saturday, the Prime Minister and his finance were pictured at an event for International Women's Day ahead of the official date on Sunday … Dressed in a floral maxi dress, the mum-to-be looked radiant and she and Mr Johnson spoke with women in Downing Street”.
They even took the hint and recycled a photo of Carrie with some of those brown chapesses, just to show how inclusive and not at all racist Bozo is. And talking of people who aren’t at all racist, no roster of fawning press sycophancy would be complete without the Murdoch Sun, although it took them until 1119 hours to follow the Mail’s lead.
Oh excellent, and some of those bank ro ... er, brown people too!
“CARRIE Symonds today beamed as she showed off her bump and engagement ring in her first appearance since revealing she was pregnant … The Sun understands Carrie is six months pregnant with the baby due in late May or early June”. In other words, she’s been visibly preggers for several weeks, they knew, and obediently said nothing.
For slebs they don’t like, and ordinary members of the public, there’s press intrusion. For Bozo and Carrie, thought, there are just obedient courtesans. Pass the sick bucket.
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