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Saturday 22 June 2019

Boris Bust-Up - Very Bad Timing

It has been said time and time again that the only person who can stop London’s formerly very occasional Mayor Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson from becoming Prime Minister is himself. And so it came to pass, as with the worst possible timing, Bozza finds himself splashed across every front page this morning for reasons which will play very badly with his electorate - the members of the Tory Party.
Having split from his long-suffering second wife Marina Wheeler, Bozza has been shacked up with current partner Carrie Symonds at what, it seems, is her flat in South East London. But the path of true love has not run totally smoothly, and on Friday morning neighbours were woken up to the sound of a truly monumental Domestic, along with shouting, screaming, and what sounds like a very broken laptop.
Carrie Symonds

The Guardian, which has a recording of the row, simply told “Police called to loud row at Boris Johnson’s home”. But the tabloids were having none of that restraint stuff. The Mirror offered “Tory ‘PM’ Sensation … COPS CALLED TO BORIS & LOVER BUST-UP”. The Murdoch Sun - normally Bozza cheerleaders - went with “Carrie ‘Screams’ In Flat … COPS’ 999 DASH TO BORIS BUST-UP”. And the Mail front page was a joy to behold.
The legendarily foul mouthed Paul Dacre may be gone, but the inmates of the Northcliffe House bunker still know how to go Full Dacre: “POLICE CALLED IN AFTER BORIS ROW WITH GIRLFRIEND … ‘Get off me … get out of my flat’ … What neighbours heard Carrie Symonds, 31, scream at PM contender after midnight fracas”. It wasn’t just a Domestic - it was a fracas! And it involved a 31-year-old woman!
Blimey brethren! Beano Boris blundering bozo babe bashing bad behaviour blatantly busted! But seriously folks, this is very bad indeed for Team Boris. There he is, the front runner in the race to become Prime Minister, and on the eve of all those upstanding Tory Party members receiving their ballot papers, he goes and gets himself splashed all over the front pages doing something of which those members will take a very dim view.
Being a lovable oaf is one thing, but a Domestic with that nice Gel Carrie is not. I mean, High TIRRIBLE! This Chep is behaving like a CED and an IPSLUTE BINDER! Faced with the choice between Bounder Boris and the happily married Jeremy Richard Streynsham Hunt (the former Culture Secretary), many of those crosses - especially from Tory women - will be marked opposite Hunt. And not opposite Bozza.
That one consequence of the Bozza Domestic is why this story coming out at this time is the very worst possible timing. And it’s hugely ironic that Carrie Symonds, who so wants to be there at the centre of power - some acquaintances have nicknamed her FLOTUS - may have participated in the dispute which finished his chances of getting the Top Job.
Moreover, when push came to shove and the herd instinct kicked in, not one newspaper turned down the chance to splash Bozza’s bust-up across their front page. Sales and clicks trump loyalty, especially when the competition are all running it.

Something for Bozza to mull over while he’s buying that new laptop. Sad, really.
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Stephen said...

The usual crowd have been coming out to support him though - even comparing the neighbours to the Stasi, and saying they should be doxxed and their political affiliations scrutinised.

Bo Jo said...

Does anyone know how to get red wine bottle out of ones arsehole?

If you could be so kind as to check for a sofa up there too.

Anonymous said...

Boris in untouchable. This will have no effect.

mirandola said...

Boris and Trump are very similar.

After many months of full sleaze details on Trump's sex life his voters knew exactly what they were voting for and went ahead and voted for him.

The same with Boris. That he lives an unusual sex life is fully factored into their voting calculations and this will make no difference. If anything they will see it as yet more evidence that Remainers are desperate to throw anything at Brexiteers to keep us in the EU. The story originating from the ultra-remain Guardian doesn't help things. It will increase the pressure to vote Boris.

The Tories are no longer a party of respectable old duffers living in the Home Counties and going to garden parties. They are a party of wide boys and spivs. Just look at what's happened in the last couple of days. One MP deselected for fraud and still standing in the next election, another one sacked for effectively beating up a woman. And them all busy rigging their own election campaign.

Arnold said...


Anonymous said...

The fact he is forgiven or accepted by those in his own circles has no bearing on the outcome of the final. Members vote.

Unless he drops out through recognition of self disgrace, which, knowing him, he won't.

Anonymous said...

oris leadership campaign needs to "change his pitch up".

Steve Woods said...

The words of Max Hastings, who was once foolish enough to employ Boris Johnson as a "journalist", deserve another airing.

Here's a flavour:

"Boris is a gold medal egomaniac. I would not trust him with my wife nor – from painful experience – my wallet. His chaotic public persona is not an act – he is indeed manically disorganised about everything except his own image management. He is also a far more ruthless and frankly, nastier, figure than the public appreciates. I would not take Boris’s word about whether it is Monday or Tuesday. He is not a man to believe in, to trust or respect, save as a superlative exhibitionist. He is bereft of judgement, loyalty or discretion. Only in the star-crazed, frivolous Britain of the 21st Century, could such a man have risen so high, and he is utterly unfit to go higher still."