Ah, the sound of disorganised cluelessness in the morning: as a new week begins, supporters of London’s formerly very occasional Mayor Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson are lashing out in desperation at a story which refuses to go away, after their hero became embroiled in a Domestic of no fixed maximum volume with partner Carrie Symonds, and the gory details were passed to the Rotten Lefties™ at the Guardian.
Cripes Cazza, can't you PR us out of this one? Oo-er! Yikes!
They don’t want Bozza to be splashed all over the front pages this morning, but the press herd instinct has kicked in and they are powerless to stop it. And as for trying to talk down the story - well, TalkRADIO droid Ross Kempsell tried that. “From the hustings room, one simple conclusion: last night's Guardian story has made no difference whatsoever to Tory members. None. Moreover, political attacks on Boris Johnson are only likely to boost and cement his support with them”. Weekend polling showed it did make a difference.
Cheerleader Nadine Dorries, who despises “posh boys” unless they are Bozza, also tried to talk down the story: “I’ve spoken to @BorisJohnson + @carriesymonds I am totally stunned at the level of harassment they have had to endure. Hate mail, left wing protests outside their flat, eavesdroppers. The stress is immense, more than most could endure.They are together, strong and united”. Yeah, right.
It’s “harassment” when it happens to someone in the public eye, but nothing of the sort when the press vultures go after the couple who recorded the Domestic out of concern for Ms Symonds’ safety. I mean, they’re BITTER REMOANERS, and for Ms Dorries that makes them fair game. Hence “Well, I never. Cambridge-educated Buddhist playwright whose anti-Brexit play funded by EU”. They don’t count, eh Nads?
Then we have another - thankfully brief - intervention from the odious flannelled fool Master Harry Cole. Seeing Mail Online telling “Anarchists demonstrate outside Carrie Symonds’ flat after Johnson row”, he snorts “Hope those neighbours are proud of themselves”. A word in you shell-like, Master Cole.
Did the neighbours identify the house? Did they post pictures of it, plastering those pictures all over social media, indeed, over the front pages of several newspapers? D’you know, they didn’t, did they? That was done by our free and fearless press, like the Daily Mail and Mail on Sunday. THAT’S THE PAPER YOU WORK FOR, NUMBSKULL.
So Jonathan Fisher was having none of Cole’s whataboutery. “What, after you decided to publish exterior photos, a floor plan and the location of the apartment?” And Martin Purvis pointed out the rank double standards: “That's the trouble with right wing hacks you can tap folks phones, camp on their doorstep, harass them on the street & you think that's ok but if someone does the same to one of your mates you find it disgusting!”
Still, though, the desperation of the Bozza boosters continues, with the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines and his rabble at the Guido Fawkes blog, who I suspect may lose some money if their man fails to become Tory leader, offering “Boris and Carrie are the political equivalent of Burton and Taylor”. Just fuck right off with that pretentious arsewipe.
You’ve lost control of the narrative, Boris backers. Get real. Deal with it.
Enjoy your visit to Zelo Street? You can help this truly independent blog carry on talking truth to power, while retaining its sense of humour, by adding to its Just Giving page at