UKIP leader Adolf von Batten, it seems, was not put off by his aide Daniel Thomas, the former comedy kidnapper, getting himself arrested twice recently. As a result, it seems Thomas is equally unfussed about getting himself nicked - because it’s happened again, with the hapless Thomas live-streaming his idiocy for all the world to see.
The scene of this latest minor setback for the Kippers’ finest was opposite the Houses of Parliament. It seems the idea of peaceful and agreeable protest was too challenging for him to grasp. But Thomas was able to take out his smartphone and video it all, so his audience could see what a complete prat he was.
As he filmed, officers of the Metropolitan Police could be seen in significant numbers. Thomas asked them if he had been arrested. Realising it was a fair cop, he went all Old School and called them “Guv”. After showing his audience that he smokes, which makes him at least as hard as Battersea bedroom dweller Paul Watson, he admitted he was being nicked, but claimed he didn’t know why. Yeah, right.
“Am I under arrest … Guv? … What’s happened Guv? … I’m going to be detained, by officers, not sure why … about to find out … the whole media now … can’t we just walk somewhere?” What was his problem? Was he somehow ashamed that the hated MSM might find out that he, the great Danny Tommo, had been arrested again?
Well, he soon got over that. As his fellow protesters started up their chanting, Thomas, not realising that this might not be a good idea as he was already being nicked, joined in. “Leave! Leave! Leave! … Leave! Leave! Leave”. Many in the vicinity probably wished he already had. He addressed his fans once more. “Currently being detained, don’t know why … they’re trying to get a vehicle for me”. He then turned to the Police.
“What you nicking me for? Come on … Ere! Who threw that at me? It’s gone all over me! Why’re you making such a big deal of it? What am I being nicked for?” At this point, the meat van arrived and he was ushered towards the door. “Am I getting in? [he was indeed getting in] … Come on then, what have I done? It’s a bit weird that I’m in a Police car and I don’t know why I’m here. Come on gents!” He addressed his fans once more.
“Currently in the back of a Police car, er, van. Don’t know why. No-one’s explained nuffink to me. They’ve not put me under arrest, they’ve moved me away from the area, I don’t know why, they still aren’t telling me … Dad, if you’re watching this, can you get hold of, er, [name of solicitor] … I’ve not been arrested, as of yet … this is going to be an arrest then is it? What’s it for?” The cops then told him what it was for.
Thomas claimed it was about a People’s Vote display, and that he didn’t do it, honestly. But there he was in the back of the meat van and he was once more under arrest. That makes three recent ones. For someone Gerard Batten is happy to have sitting at his table.
Anyone might conclude that UKIP don’t mind being associated with criminals. Even comedy amateur ones. I’ll just leave that one there.
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