And so it came to pass that the Amateur Gammon Sturmabteilung assembled for another pointless protest in London today. Pointless because none of the politicians whom their leader James Goddard had revelled in verbally abusing and threatening earlier in the week would be in the vicinity, and pointless because the Metropolitan Police were waiting for him. The result was as predictable as it was delicious.
There was an anti-austerity protest in London today, too: Owen Jones, favourite hate figure of the far right, would be there, and would address the crowd. To this end, Daniel Thomas, comedy kidnapper and now aide to UKIP leader Adolf von Batten, let it be known that he was after Jones. “Danny Tommo: ‘I'm going on a hunt for @OwenJones84 and Antifa, and anything that goes around with that’”. But Goddard wasn’t.
Sadly, this was to be a campaign destined to develop not necessarily to Goddard’s advantage: after mustering his rabble, sorry, crack troops opposite the North entrance to St James’ Park Underground station, the Met’s finest approached the Amateur Gammon Sturnabteilung and bundled its Ernst Rohm act-alike into a waiting meat van.
This prompted protests from one of his faithful followers, whose voice can be heard shouting “James, they’re coming over … keep talking, keep talking … look at this, here they come, Gestapo - everyone just turn their backs to ‘em”. Two WPCs hove into view and detained Goddard. The voice of protest wasn’t having that.
“Hang on, he’s got an appointment at 12 O’Clock … he’s got an appointment … don’t push, don’t push … you just assault all the time … Gestapo Police … get your hands off me, get your hands off me … that’s the one who said about the boys, who’s got over 100,000 views … you don’t come in and barge … look what they’re doing to James … well done James, we know it’s fake charges”. And there was more.
“Yeah, I seen it, it’s got over 100,000 views … Well done James, the whole country’s with you James, the whole country is with you”. What was the guff about a hundred thousand views? Who knows, and, indeed, who cares? With that, Goddard was secured in the meat van and driven away to be, er, processed. Hopefully they gave him a bath, too.
The effect of removing the figurehead of the Amateur Gammon Sturmabteilung was that, although a few of their more enthusiastic hangers-on made it to Trafalgar Square to shout in Owen Jones’ general direction, they were easily dealt with by event stewards. Goddard had been rumoured to be handing himself in to Holborn Police Station at 12 noon - hence the protest at his arrest - but how he would have made it on time is not told.
After all, it was already well after 1140 hours when he was nicked outside St James’ Park Underground. In any case, Goddard got what he wanted - to emulate his hero Stephen Yaxley Lennon, who styles himself Tommy Robinson. He can now pretend he’s some kind of minor folk hero. Brendan O’Neill will eulogise over him in a Spiked column.
But all that has happened is that a nasty racist thug has been removed from the streets, to the intense relief of all those who wished it had happened rather earlier.
Hate speech and intimidation has consequences. Just rejoice at that news.
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