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This is a blog of liberal stance and independent mind

Wednesday 1 February 2012

Vanity Of The Flannelled Fool

[Update at end of post]

Twitter avatars and backgrounds are very much a personal thing: the image used for Zelo Street – background story HERE – is down to it being a favourite photo. Media blogs like Press Not Sorry, Tabloid Watch and Angry Mob use avatars that relate to their particular speciality. Tim Ireland at Bloggerheads uses his trademark turtle (now with “Police Aware” sticker – don’t ask).

Where are the photos of us?

No such subtlety, though, is allowed to enter in the world of the flannelled fool Henry Cole, tame gofer to the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines at the Guido Fawkes blog, this less than dynamic duo combining to form the Laurel and Hardy of the blogosphere. For avatar and background, the appallingly vain Cole uses only one subject, which is Himself Personally Now.

Brief sight of Hideus Maximus

Zelo Street readers can see an example of this shameless self promotion right here, but should be warned that not only may some viewers find such images distressing, but also be reassured that this grotesque sight is most unlikely to be shown again. One does, after all, have standards to maintain. And those standards include leaving ignorance and dishonesty to others (guess who?).

Trouble smelling his worms

Indeed, Cole bases his attack on the Trade Union movement – as previously noted, he is the one running the so-called Trade Union Reform Campaign (TURC) – on his ignorance of it. Yesterday he upbraided CWU Midlands Region Learning Project Worker Steve Ratcliffe with “I will not take lectures from a man who takes public money to agigtate [sic]”. Ratcliffe would be in trouble if he did “agitate” (he doesn’t).

Smearing stick joins rattle out of pram time

The Cole ignorance extends to one of the UK’s major transport networks: his latest feeble hurling of abuse at Zelo Street is to call me “some looney [sic] trainspotter”, which is code for yet another gaping hole in his knowledge. That this blog has taken apart his dubiously talented pals at the so-called Taxpayers’ Alliance whenever they put out knocking copy on HS2 does not seem to enter.

And it gets worse: in a weak attempt at attribute transfer, Cole, sitting there alone slaving away for Staines – who has swanned off to one of his two other homes – has lashed out at me as a “creepy, repetitive, obsessive loner”. This will cause such a shock to anyone who has encountered me recently that there will be, er, convulsive laughter from the south coast through London to the north west and beyond.

It's only a coincidence ...

But I’m glad to be able to report that the solitary Cole has had someone to keep him company this afternoon: the council Health and Safety rep turned up unannounced and woke him up. Sadly, the premises came up short on five areas. It was, of course, just a coincidence that the inspection came after he has been laying in to those in public service. Wasn’t it?

I’m sure the rep was really impressed by Henry “I’ve been on telly, me” Cole. Not.

[UPDATE 1845 hours: since this item was posted, Cole has descended into paranoia, Tweeting "reassure everyone of your sanity by tipping off health and safety inspectorate of people you obsessively write about online". Yes, he now believes that I sent the council round to his office this afternoon.

But then, he expects others to believe that he isn't running the TURC. And he expects everyone to believe all the guff he writes for the Fawkes blog. Maybe they really are coming to get him]


Anonymous said...

Aren't you the chap that travelled halfway across the country to follow female members of the TPA around Manchester, hiding in bushes taking photos of them?

And then bragged about it on your blog?

I'd say that rather covers both 'creepy' and 'obsessive'...

Tim Fenton said...

Hen, you just couldn't stay away, could you?

But as usual you're wrong again. Manchester is a short train ride from Crewe, the TPA invited me (I'm a member of the public, remember) and all the photos were taken openly. Nobody was followed anywhere - in fact, they arrived in Ashton after I did.

So spin that one.

Now don't get too paranoid about that H&S visit, now will you?

Anonymous said...

Not quite, mate.

By your own admission, you spied on them at Manchester train station. And why are all of the pictures taken from a distance, and are all of their backs? Go over and introduce yourself, did you?

Even your own 'fans' thought your behaviour was creepy.

So yes, 'creepy' and 'obsessive' are entirely apt - charitable, even - descriptions.

Tim Fenton said...

"Manchester train station"? Which one, pray, Mr Cole?

What "fans"?

Who's being "obsessive"? Combing through the blog's back catalogue - all the way back to September?

You're starting to lose it, Hen. And all you'll get from coming over all aggressive with me is another bucket load of ridicule.

Your call.

Anonymous said...

So you don't dispute that you're creepy and obsessive?

Glad we cleared that one up then.

And if pointing out your strange behaviour is 'aggressive', then so be it.

Oh, and for fear of shattering your paranoid fantasy, not everyone is Henry - or Harry - Cole, either.

Tim Fenton said...

I don't need to dispute anything that comes from Henry Cole. And that's who I've got on the other end of the conversation.

You're being held up to ridicule. Carping "creepy" and "obsessive", from someone who creepily, and obsessively, pursues and doorsteps folks for a living will only make the howls of laughter louder.

The second line of your last comment is the first giveaway (crap punctuation and false assumption).

And the fourth merely underscores it - I just pointed out that you were getting paranoid, so as in a conditioned reflex, you have to hurl it back at me.

Carry on Hen - keep proving Healey's and Olbermann's dictums while giving everyone a good laugh.

Tim said...

Hello. Pardon my dropping by and interrupting your interrogation by an anonymous coward who has invested heavily in beliefs and concerns that are identical to that of Harry Cole.

I just wanted to note that it's been well over a day now and there's still no denial from Harry Cole about this anonymous edit to Wikipedia.

Anonymous said...

It's an intriguing defensive mechanism you've developed - accuse your detractors of being someone else entirely.

Clever, in a way - there's no need to actually engage anybody who might have reason to suggest you're behaving like a bit of an oddball. Though invoking Healey is egregiously ironic.

Now, about that ridicule you've been promising?

Anonymous said...

It's an intriguing defensive mechanism you've developed - accuse your detractors of being someone else entirely.

Clever, in a way - there's no need to actually engage anybody who might have reason to suggest you're behaving like a bit of an oddball.

Does have its downsides though - doesn't make for the greatest defense against being 'creepy, repetitive and obsessive', for one. Oh, and invoking Healey is egregiously ironic.

Now, about that ridicule you've been promising...

Tim Fenton said...

Poor Henry Cole is so obsessive that he's becoming repetitive.

It's all a bit creepy!

John Ruddy said...

If "Anonymous" really had any concerns about you, then surely they would have informed the police?

And once they had stopped laughing, they would then have sent them on the way with a warning not to waste police time!

Well, I suppose if they are spending all their time combing through your past posts, they're not out on the street having marches against debt.

Not Harry Cole said...

Boasting that you're one of the "top 200 political blogs in the UK" is like a B&B proudly display its "one star" rating.

Tim Fenton said...

The sock puppet names aren't getting any more original, I see.