The propensity to have more than one glass of wine of an evening displayed so often by appallingly overrated columnist Sarah “Vain” Vine is well known, partly because she has admitted her habit in one of her many tedious Daily Mail rants, and partly after her husband was demoted to Chief Whip, from Education Secretary, by Young Dave, resulting in a late night Twitter strop which Private Eye characterised as “absolutely pixellated”.
Thish minishter ish totally shober ...
What we also know about the Gove household is that “Oiky” has been named as another of its residents who has enjoyed, shall we say, an unfortunate coincidental relationship with alcoholic beverages in the recent past. Indeed, Ben Wallace MP said in a Telegraph article recently “Michael seems to have an emotional need to gossip, particularly when drink is taken, as it all too often seemed to be”. Man can’t hold his liquor, dammit!
So it should have come as no surprise when “Oiky” Gove went on a late night Twitter meander yesterday, failing, like his wife, and indeed Frances Barber, to learn from the old adage that one should not allow drink and Tweet in close proximity to one another.
... and sho ish hish wife
After Sam Gyimah, who is now with the Lib Dems, had claimed “Blame for failing to leave on 31st sits squarely with Johnson: 1. Wasted time when he became PM refusing to talk to the EU 2. Unlawfully prorogued parliament & undermined trust 3. Initial proposals to EU = wide off the mark 4. Failed attempt to ram deal through parliament”, “Oiky” was away.
“Dear [Sam Gyimah] - are you really suggesting, Implying or asking us to believe you want us to leave the EU on Oct 31st? I understand you’ve left the Tories but puhleeze - the rest of us haven’t taken leave of our senses”. “Puhleeze”? What that? OK so he had not taken leave of his senses, but it was only 2223 hours. Give him time.
And after another glass, er, sorry, 12 minutes he had had enough time to line up Labour MP Peter Kyle in what passed for his sights. Kyle had concluded that a confirmatory referendum would be better than a General Election. “Dear [Peter Kyle] - huge respect to you for the integrity of your position but is there anyone arguing for your ‘confirmatory referendum’ because they want another opportunity to say we voted to leave?”
Does that make sense? Anyone? Fast forward to 2322 hours and he was ranting at Jeremy Corbyn over the NHS. Or anything but the NHS. “Dear [Jeremy Corbyn] - the NHS has been kept safe and well funded for most of its life by Conservative Governments - while you’ve been supporting murderous extremists - and undermining the wealth creators who pay for public services - so please stow it”. Another glass, another wobble.
Jezza doesn’t support the Saudis, he didn’t support Augusto Pinochet, he doesn’t support Bashir al-Assad, and he’s all in favour of wealth creators - the real ones. Workers. But then, “Oiky” was having a go at Andy McDonald over Diwali. “Dear [Andy McDonald] - I too wish everyone a happy Diwali and delight in our country’s diversity but while you stay silent in the face of Labour’s anti-semitism you should reflect and fight to face the Corbynite prejudice I know in your heart you abhor”. Ho ho bloody ho.
Where was Gove when Jacob Rees Mogg was dabbling in anti-Semitism recently? But good to see one activity Mr and Mrs Gove can share so publicly. Trebles all round!
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